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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend making agreement to her covid views a requirement of her friendship

109 replies

dizzycatdance2 · 16/06/2021 22:22

Hi

Friend posts a lot online of her views of covid.

generalisation : she doesn't believe covid is a serious disease, mask wearing is unnecessary , "they" have ulterior motive etc.

That is her opinion and she is fully entitled to it.

Latest post :

If you think I'm selfish for not wearing a mask, not testing my child.

If you think the latest extension of lockdown is ok

Then un-friend .I don't have time for you.
..........

I'm really, really torn as to what to say / do.

It feels as though i have been forced to make public my own personal views / beliefs. E.g. say nothing = I agree with her, un-friend = I don't agree.

I realise this is just sm, I don't have to engage at all , i can just unfollow.

It feels almost playgroundish, "you can only be my friend if........."

But , it just grates in a way that her other posts did not. Although the post that looked exactly like an official "im positive , you need to take action" warning , but that was (right at the end ) positive for her being "sexy" felt mocking.

I have never posted to contradict her views , it's her sm she can say what she likes.

I'm trying to find the correct response but anything I think.of seems to come out ",wrong"

Any ideas

OP posts:
warmandtoasty2day · 16/06/2021 22:25

unfriend she sounds fruit loopy. entitled to her ideas but doesn't mean you have to agree with her batshit nonsense.

toconclude · 16/06/2021 22:26

"Bye then"

Simple. I don't want to be friends with deliberately stupid people.

Feedingthebirds1 · 16/06/2021 22:27

She's saying she's right and everyone else is wrong. And daring you to contradict her. To help compile a response, how much does this friendship mean to you? Something you don't want to lose at all? Happy if it cools a bit but you still want it to be there? Not bothered if this is the end of the road?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 16/06/2021 22:27

I would probably just unfriend tbh.

I did it several times at the start of the pandemic then just came off social media altogether when a work acquaintance messaged me and told me I didn't love my kids if I didn't sign his petition.

Life is so much easier.

TheBatPig · 16/06/2021 22:28

Go for the third option and totally ignore the post? Though agree whichever side your opinion falls on, it reads a bit playground-ish. Is it one of those copy and paste posts?

AnneLovesGilbert · 16/06/2021 22:28

She’s made it easy for you. Unfriend away. She’s barking.

Seafog · 16/06/2021 22:28

Why are you hesitant to unfriend?

Merryoldgoat · 16/06/2021 22:30

I can’t be friends with stupid people so it’s an easy choice.

BarbarianMum · 16/06/2021 22:31

Look at it this way, do you usually allow you friends to decide what you are allowed to believe? Personally I think that goes a bit far. You could mute her for a bit if you dont want to defriend.

dizzycatdance2 · 16/06/2021 22:31

The reason I would un-friend is not that I don't agree with her but that I don't agree with having to ",prove" myself.

A way to phrase that would be useful.

OP posts:
Bootskates · 16/06/2021 22:34

Is she an actual friend?

Or an ex colleague from 5 years ago that you rarely interact with.

An acquaintance I would just unfollow. A close friend I'm not actually sure. I think I would maybe ignore the post but then when I saw her IRL just steer the conversation subtly away from covid. If she carried on I would say "look, you're a really good friend and I love you to bits but I'm bored to tears of covid- anyway how is dp/dc/ddog doing?"

Pippa12 · 16/06/2021 22:35

Just ignore it like you ignored chain letters at school. The best thing that could happen in this attention seeking situation is that nobody did/said anything at all.

SGChome20 · 16/06/2021 22:35

Is she an actual friend that you see and speak to regularly? If she isn’t just unfriend and say nothing. You don’t have to prove anything.

Darkstar4855 · 16/06/2021 22:36

Unfriend. No need to comment (she’ll only start arguing with you), it speaks volumes all by itself.

DisappearingGirl · 16/06/2021 22:36

Ugh. Honestly unless you want a load of drama I would just ignore. Not unfriending doesn't mean you agree, it just means you don't engage with Facebook bollocks. For all she knows you might not have even seen the post.

Lilibet2022 · 16/06/2021 22:37

The correct response is to unfriend her. Can you imagine the uproar if you posted similar and said if you don't believe Covid is serious then unfriend etc?

If you're not really close to her then she won't be missed too much and sounds like she'll have to learn the hard way. My teenage DC has friends some of whom think it is a hoax but it isn't a clause to their friendship. Basically kids 'get it' so yes I agree with you OP it sounds childish.

Geamhradh · 16/06/2021 22:38

Nobody with batshit, and selfish, ideas like this person deserves you as a friend.

JackieTheFart · 16/06/2021 22:39

If you want to stay real life friends, I would just unfollow. If you're not arsed then just unfriend her and let her be free to be an idiot on her own.

Viviennemary · 16/06/2021 22:39

I wouldn't want to be friends with such a person. I'd bd tempted to post the opposite and let her unfriend you.

Fairyliz · 16/06/2021 22:41

Anything you do will just be feeding the drama, so just ignore it all.

dizzycatdance2 · 16/06/2021 22:41

Sorry to be dim how do I un-friend , not very sm savvy !

OP posts:
somethinghastogive46 · 16/06/2021 22:43

I routinely unfriend people if they say "unfriend me if you don't agree with me"
Even if I actually do agree with their stance on that issue. I don't agree with friendship being conditional on complete compliance.... so "friends" like that I can do without.

Plus, your friend sounds a bit bonkers so I'd unfriend.

Genderwitched · 16/06/2021 22:45

I'd just post "grow up" and unfriend

MadMadMadamMim · 16/06/2021 22:45

Such an easy one.

Anyone who demands I agree with her and am not allowed an opinion of my own (on any subject) would no longer be a friend of mine.

Don't agonise. Unfriend - as instructed.

jacqroberts68 · 16/06/2021 22:46

I don't understand why they get so angry? My son rants absolute nonsense about it.