Friend making agreement to her covid views a requirement of her friendship

[dizzycatdance2]

Hi

Friend posts a lot online of her views of covid.

generalisation : she doesn't believe covid is a serious disease, mask wearing is unnecessary , "they" have ulterior motive etc.

That is her opinion and she is fully entitled to it.

Latest post :

If you think I'm selfish for not wearing a mask, not testing my child.

If you think the latest extension of lockdown is ok

Then un-friend .I don't have time for you.
..........

I'm really, really torn as to what to say / do.

It feels as though i have been forced to make public my own personal views / beliefs. E.g. say nothing = I agree with her, un-friend = I don't agree.

I realise this is just sm, I don't have to engage at all , i can just unfollow.

It feels almost playgroundish, "you can only be my friend if........."

But , it just grates in a way that her other posts did not. Although the post that looked exactly like an official "im positive , you need to take action" warning , but that was (right at the end ) positive for her being "sexy" felt mocking.

I have never posted to contradict her views , it's her sm she can say what she likes.

I'm trying to find the correct response but anything I think.of seems to come out ",wrong"

Any ideas

@Chiffandbip

I would just unfollow her on social media but stay friends. I have a friend who has some very bizarre ideas about Corona virus/ the vaccine/ the government and I tend to just change the subject because I like her as a person.

I tried that with my friend. Instead she went on and on until she had a right go at me

The "unfriend me if..." people are hard work.

I have unfriended people for this kind of repetitive posting, oddly they are people who will then message you afterwards to ask why.

If you don't want to unfriend her, you can hide her so at least you are not seeing her posts.

I think people can have whatever option they like, however much it irritates me but its the childish unfriend me statement that makes me embarrassed for them.
Ignore or block her, life is too short for that nonsense

I’d have to unfriend and hope she comes to her senses when she’s left friendless!
Whether you agree or not w her nonsense, she can’t demand her friends agree with her on anything.
I have friends w differing views on issues and we don’t really talk about them when we meet (obv if anyone had extreme non-mainstream views I wouldn’t be friends).

Why would you want to be friends with someone prepared to risk the health of the community and her own child?

@etopp

I am sorry if this is a dense question, but why do you have to respond at all? Can you not just shrug and ignore it? If she said it to your face, you might have to engage with it one way or the other, but otherwise, I wouldn't bother.

FWIW, I have some very good friends who are in favour of lockdown, self-isolation etc. I am right at the other end of the spectrum, but we seem to have managed to remain friends. I can see why they see things they way they do, and they can see why I see things the way I do. Though our friendships aren't conducted online, so maybe that makes a difference.

Unfortunately sometimes having opposing views can taint a friendship in different ways - am seeing it w a couple of mutual friends. One has refused to attend an important life event the other is holding for her child and the inviter is very upset. They are very old friends and closer to each other then they both are to me. The event will be Covid compliant and after restrictions are lifted (assuming that happens). The invitee will have had both vaccines by then and the other friend said no-one else has declined due to Covid. She doesn’t really use SM much, the invitee tends to air her views a bit more. So being ‘over cautious’ is also a ‘thing’. I’m neither over-worried nor over-cautious, have followed the guidelines pretty closely and been double jabbed so feel I’m coming from a middle-ground perspective.

She sounds like an attention whore.

The extended restrictions are happening anyway if people agree with them or not so she's making herself look like a right muppet.

Just ignore her or unfriendly.

I tend to just scroll past crap like that on fb.

People are entitled to their opinion. You are entitled to yours. The point of debate is to listen to another person’s point of view which is different from yours. The trouble is that your ‘friend’ isn’t listening to your view, but expecting you to listen to her and accept what she says.

No way.

I think if she were an actual friend whom I liked and saw in real life I would engage with something like 'I don't agree with you but I don't want to unfriend you because I like you! Do friends have to agree on everything?'

But if she is only a Facebook friend or you don't actually like her then yeah delete.

I used to unfriend anyone who did something dramatic like this because they’re an attention seeking embarrassment.

Do what you like. I'd just mute her.

It may have been promoted by a specific argument she had with someone, and more aimed at them really than ALL her FB friends and acquaintances.

Bye Felicia.

Whether I agree with her or not is not the issue , it's having to "declare" my own personal opinions.

Inaction = I agree with her
Unfriend = I do not

Also I might agree with some of what she says but not all.

I'm not upset in particular ,just feel that putting the onus on me is "forcing" the issue.

I'd rather reply that I am not going to declare my view and put the obligation on her , which is where it should be.

It would be an easy decision for me. My friendship isn't condition on what my friends think - and vice versa. Whatever their views they are entitled to them.

Who the hell does your 'friend' think she is to dictate to you? I'd walk away from such an attention-seeking, vacuous blowhard and never look back.

This person isn't a friend.

I lost a couple of people I thought were friends over Brexit.

I'm quite surprised about the comments here as I've seen loads of MNers post in the past about not being able to be friends with people with differing views on Brexit or covid or whatever and if you are you are morally lacking.

Your friend wants an echo chamber, so give her one. It won't be much good for her mental health, but it's probably too late now anyway.

Personally I would have to say something first, but that's just me.

@looptheloopinahulahoop

I'm quite surprised about the comments here as I've seen loads of MNers post in the past about not being able to be friends with people with differing views on Brexit or covid or whatever and if you are you are morally lacking.

If you have seen loads of people saying things like that it was probably different people.

Also I find it v difficult to converse with people I like but don't agree with on the topic of eg Brexit because I feel so strongly about it but I wouldn't ask for a public declaration either way on Facebook as a condition of friendship.

@looptheloopinahulahoop

I'm quite surprised about the comments here as I've seen loads of MNers post in the past about not being able to be friends with people with differing views on Brexit or covid or whatever and if you are you are morally lacking.

Why are you surprised? A group of people on mn don't speak for everyone. I'm friends with people who have very different political views to me and even my husband voted for Brevit, while I voted remain.

Having said that I couldn't be friends with a misogynist or racist, but I wouldn't announce it on sm. I was very tempted when my sil posted racist rubbish on FB, but I haven't seen her for years now and I resisted the urge.

@looptheloopinahulahoop

I'm quite surprised about the comments here as I've seen loads of MNers post in the past about not being able to be friends with people with differing views on Brexit or covid or whatever and if you are you are morally lacking.

I don't find MN to be indicative of real life at all. This place is a micro-cosm of intolerance at times. If a relationship/friendship can be so easily jettisoned because of different beliefs then it really wasn't one worth having.

I think you should unfriend her.

Your friend is Batshit crazy.