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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend making agreement to her covid views a requirement of her friendship

109 replies

dizzycatdance2 · 16/06/2021 22:22

Hi

Friend posts a lot online of her views of covid.

generalisation : she doesn't believe covid is a serious disease, mask wearing is unnecessary , "they" have ulterior motive etc.

That is her opinion and she is fully entitled to it.

Latest post :

If you think I'm selfish for not wearing a mask, not testing my child.

If you think the latest extension of lockdown is ok

Then un-friend .I don't have time for you.
..........

I'm really, really torn as to what to say / do.

It feels as though i have been forced to make public my own personal views / beliefs. E.g. say nothing = I agree with her, un-friend = I don't agree.

I realise this is just sm, I don't have to engage at all , i can just unfollow.

It feels almost playgroundish, "you can only be my friend if........."

But , it just grates in a way that her other posts did not. Although the post that looked exactly like an official "im positive , you need to take action" warning , but that was (right at the end ) positive for her being "sexy" felt mocking.

I have never posted to contradict her views , it's her sm she can say what she likes.

I'm trying to find the correct response but anything I think.of seems to come out ",wrong"

Any ideas

OP posts:
godmum56 · 16/06/2021 23:33

yup, unfriend and block...and yes because of the covid nonsense but more importantly because of the blackmail!

Anna727b · 16/06/2021 23:35

You could just reply to her status saying 'I have different opinions about this but still value your friendship- you are welcome to unfriend me if you see fit, but I don't see any reasons to do it just because we disagree about Covid'

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 16/06/2021 23:36

Taking this to be real and not hypothetical - I would still be friends but agree to disagree and perhaps do things via technology in case your fiend does indeed eventually get infected and infect others with the ever more contagious and deadly evolving variants. You were friends already but the pandemic is also one of hard of thinking for some that may be so challenged. Once they get Covid physically (I hope not!) they will change their tune with first hand experience.

sbhydrogen · 16/06/2021 23:44

I believe the term is "SEE YUH".

youshallnotpass9 · 16/06/2021 23:46

I put these type of posts with the only 10 friends will post this will you bullshit.

You can unfriend because social media means fuck all, but ultimataly if you want to continue the friendship in Rl you can, but you can challange her on her views face to face

Gingerkittykat · 16/06/2021 23:48

I had a close friend before Covid who constantly posts conspiracy theory stuff so I have distanced myself from her. I also ignore the private messages inviting me to Covid demonstrations.

I don't want to sever the friendship completely since we have a long history but it has certainly changed my opinion of her.

MimiDaisy11 · 16/06/2021 23:52

I've had a similar post. It wasn't about covid but I can't remember what it was about but it was the childish "unfriend me if you don't believe what I do on this issue". So I did. It's immature and stupid. Also, why do you need to be in an echo chamber? Are you beliefs so fragile? I don't like people like that.

bunnybutts · 16/06/2021 23:53

Twice I've had friends say that I had to agree with them or we couldn't be friends. Not on Facebook either.

Both times they were told that if they were true friends then they would accept a difference of opinion, so up to them.

One we didn't speak for 6 months then that came back and apologised. The other we still don't speak.

Crinkle77 · 17/06/2021 00:01

What ever happened to people having different opinions but still being able to be friends. We're becoming more and more intolerant of those with a different view point to ourselves. You see it all the time on social media.

DogFacedWoman · 17/06/2021 00:03

I have a friend like this, I've known them for 30+ years. Always posting stuff about it being a big sham, it's a conspiracy, it's all about control etc.
Then, one day, they caught it and ended up in hospital for 3 weeks. 2 of which where in ICU. 6 months later they can't climb a flight of stairs or walk 100m without needing to take a hit of oxygen.

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 17/06/2021 00:15

It may help you to read my post from a few weeks ago. My 'best friend' has gone from being like a sister to a horrible bitch I barely recognise. She was goading me for a while then had a massive go at me Best friend stopped speaking to me over coronavirus lockdonw www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4217417-Best-friend-stopped-speaking-to-me-over-coronavirus-lockdonw

me4real · 17/06/2021 00:39

Unfriend. Flakes are too annoying to be friends with.

I don't mind people considering the evidence for lockdown measures for themselves and stuff at this stage, but not being anti--vax.

ilovesooty · 17/06/2021 00:57

I wouldn't respond. I'd unfriend her and I wouldn't associate with her in real life either

RickiTarr · 17/06/2021 01:08

I couldn’t hit the button fast enough. Life is way too short for these looney tunes.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/06/2021 01:14

I mute idiots I still want to be friends with. BIL is on a semi-permanent mute. It's friendlier than unfriending but I don't have to read crap.

Auntienumber8 · 17/06/2021 01:14

Do not write anything, she is after attention however negative. Just unfriend and move on. Though I am wondering if she is an actual friend.

Unsure33 · 17/06/2021 01:26

I have a friend like this . I just use the snooze for 30 days button 😂

2bazookas · 17/06/2021 01:50

"You don't think for me, or anybody else. Byee".

Chiffandbip · 17/06/2021 02:41

I would just unfollow her on social media but stay friends. I have a friend who has some very bizarre ideas about Corona virus/ the vaccine/ the government and I tend to just change the subject because I like her as a person.

FlyNow · 17/06/2021 03:27

I'd just ignore it, it's stupid but it's a random copy and paste status that you just happened to see because you logged on at that time. I see these all the time "share this post or you don't care about kids with cancer/farmers/veterans", I ignore it and I've never had a friend come up to me later and say "flynow you bitch I never knew you felt that way about kids with cancer".

sonjadog · 17/06/2021 06:43

Just ignore it. A have a couple of fb friends who write posts about other stuff saying that you have to comment or be unfriended, or something similar. I never comment and the unfriending hasn't happened. It is just a ploy for attention.

Also, in your friend's case, it would annoy me that you are the one supposed to put in the effort. If she wants to unfriend people, she can do it herself.

stackemhigh · 17/06/2021 06:47

Have you un-friended now? I would.

Or say: ‘Friends can disagree and still be friends.’

Maskless · 17/06/2021 07:15

Ignore it. She's just feeling a bit frustrated at the number of lockdown fanatics. This will soon pass when the restrictions are lifted.

bloodyhell19 · 17/06/2021 07:36

I'd get rid - not because I don't agree with her covid stance, but because she's just shown herself to be intolerant to anyone else's view on anything but has turned that around into "you don't agree with me and therefore should unfriend me " putting the action and onus on previous friends. Which she would then turn on you for & play victim.

Life's too short. Delete and block.

notanothertakeaway · 17/06/2021 08:24

I would ignore it, like the "share if you care about ....." type posts

Or send her a private message "I saw your post. I have a different view. I'm happy to agree to disagree, but if you prefer not to be Facebook friends, that's fine too"