In thinking being a SAHM is work?

[morepizza]

Work is defined as:

noun
noun: work; plural noun: works; plural noun: the works
1 1. 
activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.

I think this includes SAH parental duties. I know a lot of people don't agree with me. What else would it be called?

Never been a SAHM. The chilminder who looked after my DC was working, if I was looking after the same DC myself, I'd be doing the same work. So yes, it's work.

But it's unpaid, therefore of no value to some people

@N0tJustY0ga - as a parent, you still have to organise these things. They are a parents responsibility. Just because they are outsourced does not mean that the mental load is gone.
Your cleaner is off sick? Who cleans?
Your nanny quits because the DC are challenging? Who looks after them?
The tutor is unable to engage with your DC? Who is looking for a new one?

Haven’t read the full thread but it’s not work it’s parenting.

Would you still call it work in the same sense if you were at home all day but had no children?

Oh and I agree with @AlexaShutUp

Stay at home parents add value.
You may think parents only benefit their families but you're wrong - we're part of a larger family. Your doctor's there because a parent somewhere did the right thing. They embody care.

It's sacrificial - being a parent. I should know, I've been a sahp for 3 years and it's HARD. The work is difficult but also you're not being compensated financially either. I wouldn't encourage anyone I know to become one.

We didn't have a choice as we couldn't afford childcare for 2 at once.

Your doctor's there because a parent somewhere did the right thing. They embody care.

I'm probably being stupid but what does this mean? I can't figure it out.

@mangojango

Stay at home parents add value. You may think parents only benefit their families but you're wrong - we're part of a larger family. Your doctor's there because a parent somewhere did the right thing. They embody care.

It's sacrificial - being a parent. I should know, I've been a sahp for 3 years and it's HARD. The work is difficult but also you're not being compensated financially either. I wouldn't encourage anyone I know to become one.

We didn't have a choice as we couldn't afford childcare for 2 at once.

Unless you're a home educator then my doctor isn't there because of a SAHP, my doctor is there because of qualified teachers and university lecturers.

The chilminder who looked after my DC was working, if I was looking after the same DC myself, I'd be doing the same work. So yes, it's work
The childminder provides a service that meets legal and contractual requirements. The childminder is not allowed to put the kids in front of the TV all day, feed the kids fast food, or take the kids on a full day shopping frenzy. Mums can do all this if they so wish. The two are not comparable.

You may think parents only benefit their families but you're wrong - we're part of a larger family. Your doctor's there because a parent somewhere did the right thing. They embody care.

To be a doctor you have to have had a SAHP?

@NerrSnerr who fed them as kids? A parent somewhere. Someone did that "work" so yes it is work and it doesn't just benefit the family. It benefits us all.

@Rosesareyellow no, you don't have to be a sahp. You can outsource the work. But it is work.

@mangojango I'm really sorry I don't follow your argument. What's being a doctor got to do with sahp? Please can you explain what you mean

Your doctor's there because a parent somewhere did the right thing. They embody care.

This has absolutely zilch to do with SAHM. What on earth are you talking about?

Blimey this is a touchy subject for some.

OP for balance you probably need to show the definitions for 'employment', 'job', as well as 'work'.

SAHP is bloody hard work, particularly with 0-4 yrs, no doubt about that. For some people, it's a choice - there is someone else in the household that can pay all the bills; for some people it isn't a choice as they can't afford childcare for their needs.

I chose not to stay at home. My husband earns enough, but I am a better parent when I have a mentally stimulating job - I did find both of my mat leaves very dull from a brain perspective. I am very thankful for people who have careers in the childcare sector. I don't look down on SAHP whether it's a choice or not.

I do wish debate would move on from the 'us and them' mentality and we all support each other.

It’s the hardest work I’ve ever done. When you’re a SAHM the work never stops; there’s always admin and household stuff and chores and planning.

My DH wants me to be a SAHM but I like working. He says in many countries being a SAHM is a highly respected occupation, if done well.

@HushingDusk

It’s the hardest work I’ve ever done. When you’re a SAHM the work never stops; there’s always admin and household stuff and chores and planning.

My DH wants me to be a SAHM but I like working. He says in many countries being a SAHM is a highly respected occupation, if done well.

When you're a working parent there is still housework, admin and chores to be done. That's not exclusive to SAHP.

The economy needs the next generation of work force.

Creating the next generation of workforce, raising new doctors and the continuation of humanity in general is an obvious by product of having kids - but no one has children with this in mind. People in most cases choose to have children for themselves, not as some kind of self sacrificing gift for the rest of the world to benefit from. I think it’s incredibly arrogant to congratulate yourself on doing the world a massive favour by reproducing on the off chance of creating the next scientist to cure cancer As is it to stay at home looking after your kids to then expect them to grow up and do all the humanity saving graft. You want to support the community maybe you could go and study to be a doctor yourself instead of passing that buck to your kids.

I went from running a very fast moving company department, with big consequences for mistakes - SAHP

I know which was harder & it wasn't going out to work 🥴 several other friends, including those running nightclubs, so regularly dealing with drunk people, say the same thing

When you're a working parent there is still housework, admin and chores to be done. That's not exclusive to SAHP

I agree (as a working parent) but I have the excuse of being very tired after work so chores and admin are shared and we have a cleaner.

When I was a SAHM I felt like a full time housekeeper/cleaner/cook and everything domestic seemed to be my responsibility.

It’s the hardest work I’ve ever done. When you’re a SAHM the work never stops; there’s always admin and household stuff and chores and planning.

Household chores don’t stop for anyone. I’d love to know what this demanding but vague list of ‘admin’ and ‘planning’ and actually entails.

I definitely consider it work - not a job, or employment, but hard bloody work.

I am employed part time since having kids and I find my days at home with them far harder than my “working” days! Enjoyable and rewarding but very hard work and quite exhausting.

Yes you could say it is work, but only the same work that WOHP's do around their paid jobs. Every parent has to do childcare and housework, whether they do it 24/7 or around paid work.

@Sweak it's not about being a doctor - it's about being a human being - a decent one. They don't just arrive - someone has to parent and provide for them.

Being a sahp is work and that is what this thread is about. I'm not saying one is harder than the other. For me sahparenting was harder because I didn't get financially compensated for it (obviously) and the bell rings constantly with small children - they are demanding.

We can argue until the cows come home whether one is harder than the other.

Of course it’s work, but what people fail to realise is it’s not work that has a direct value to anyone else. Unlike paid work, which is usually centred around providing a service that someone else needs.

@HushingDusk

When you're a working parent there is still housework, admin and chores to be done. That's not exclusive to SAHP

I agree (as a working parent) but I have the excuse of being very tired after work so chores and admin are shared and we have a cleaner.

When I was a SAHM I felt like a full time housekeeper/cleaner/cook and everything domestic seemed to be my responsibility.

I'm a single parent so I have to do it all plus work, so I guess it's different.