To give baby middle name of deceased sibling?

[NameChangeA2Z]

Shamelessly posting here for traffic.

Just that really, what are your thoughts on giving my baby the middle name of my deceased sibling?

I feel like it's ok, but I'd like to hear other opinions to ensure I'm not just being a bit blinkered and in case I've not considered an implication somewhere.

Thanks

My son has named his son after his brother, who died in his twenties, I found it difficult at first, and had to keep reminding myself that he is a different child, especially when holding him as a baby, although his personality and looks are very similar, as he is growing up. My big worry is that when I am older, I will find it confusing. My mother's father, brother and son, all had the same name, and when she was in her 80/90s she would get very confused, as to who she was reminiscing about, and also when her brother or my brother visited, would be confusing them with each other.
Although if I get to my 90s I will probably have other problems.

I'm not sure I would do this myself, but I haven't walked in your shoes

Another option might be to use a variation eg if your brother was called Alexander, then you could use Alex as your DC's middle name

I agree, I don’t personally like the whole “rainbow babies” thing. But think this is a nice tribute.

I’d maybe do it but alter the spelling, that way it’s a nice gesture but not exactly the same.

I definitely wouldn’t do it if you were naming your child after a deceased child, but uncle is less problematic.

I think it'd be lovely. I gave DD my DM's she was alive ATT. 12 years later I am thrilled that I gave her the name it means a lot to both of us she is carrying it on.

Fine, lovely, and perfectly normal.

My cousin died in her 20s, her sister's daughter has her first name as a middle name. Cousin and I shared a middle name and so DD1 has that, or she would've had the first name as middle name too.

My parents, before even knowing I was expecting a boy, told me I was NOT to name a son after my deceased brother. It is about the only thing they have expressed a strong opinion on (the other related to mentioning the same brother at our wedding).
My oldest does, however, have a family name as a middle name - and it is the same as my brothers (and fathers, and grandfathers) middle name.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Definitely fine to do so. In Ireland it's more common I think for the middle name to have a significance to a family member (often deceased). I don't see the point of middle names particularly outside of this unless to keep the tradition of a name in the family without it being a first name. I would let your parents know ahead of time but not to ask permission rather as a courtesy as no one owns a name and they were your sibling once.

I think it’s fine considering it’s a middle name

I’d run it past your parents first, I wouldn’t want to trigger any upset. If they’re ok with it then sure, it’s a lovely tribute. My eldest’s middle name is my deceased Grandad’s name, my Gran was very touched by it.

My DS's middle name is my dad's name, and the middle name of DH, DH's dad, and DH's maternal grandad who died before DS was born. I think it's fine.

I think it maybe depends on the circumstances - were you close?

I am named after my Aunt that died as a child. I have never felt anything other than love that I was given a name that meant so much to my father

Go for it. My dc have middle names of their grandparents who have died.
I feel it is my way of honouring them and acknowledging had they still be here they would of been so important to my dc.

Ds1 has my brothers name as his middle name. My brother lived until my DS1 was 9 months old, and we knew things weren’t looking good when I gave birth.
He was honored, I was honored and 9 years later DS1 loves having that connection to his uncle in all the pictures and videos.

I think it's nice. Though reading some of the PPs comments might be best to check how your parents would feel.

My DD has my mother's name as a middle name. My mother died when I was in my 20s, a decade before DD was born. She knows her middle name is my mum's and we talk about her a lot. It's nice.

It is about the only thing they have expressed a strong opinion on (the other related to mentioning the same brother at our wedding). @DancesWithDaffodils Was it upsetting for them if you mentioned your brother at your wedding.

We did this. DH's sibling died in the early stages of my pregnancy, so everybody's grief was quite raw. We spoke to DH's parents and other siblings when we knew we wanted to do it to see what they thought, and would not have gone ahead with it if any of them had not liked the idea.

It felt like a big decision at the time, and I am glad we did it, but it's not something that feels like it has major significance in terms of the loss of DH's sib and how everyone has come to terms with that over the years. (I'm not saying it should, just trying to explain.)

Our baby has two middle names, my grandfather and my father, both of whom have passed. I think it's a lovely way to remember someone.
I do disagree with using a deceased sibling's name for a new baby. Acquaintances have done this and they keep comparing the two children. I feel for the poor child.

As a middle name, providing your parents agree, I think it is a lovely gesture. Your child still has a name they own for themselves but also have a link to their history.
My son's middle name is Rupert after my uncle who died as a child. When my dd asked if she could give her dd the middle name of her sister who died in her teens I couldn't stop crying. Took me a while to explain that it was tears of love as well as sadness, the fact that she has been remembered in the next generation and that there was a link meant the world. Said dgd is now in her 20's and has always loved the family link.

@Thamigumathacharaid

Our baby has two middle names, my grandfather and my father, both of whom have passed. I think it's a lovely way to remember someone. I do disagree with using a deceased sibling's name for a new baby. Acquaintances have done this and they keep comparing the two children. I feel for the poor child.

Agree, that is awful, especially if it's the first name.

Only if they are of the same gender, I dont think a DD would be happy with the middle name Wilfred in later life

A nice idea, if parents agree and are told they can say no and that's absolutely fine. I'd possibly go for two middle names but can't work out why I feel that way.

I lost my sister the week I found I was pregnant with my second. I went on to give my second my sisters middle name for her middle name in honour of her memory. I would of chosen her first but it didn’t sound right with the first name I had chosen. It’s a lovely thing to do.

This is completely normal and quite common. My sister's middle name is the same as the still born baby that my mum had before her. My son's middle name will be that of my husbands brother who died when he was 14.