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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To embrace being pale!

167 replies

Boo2012 · 15/06/2021 14:13

Hi all, I'm very fair and freckle. Ginger/Strawberry blonde. I have been tanned in the past. Mainly when I was younger from the sun. But I'm more careful now I'm older. I've tried fake tan but I'm not great at it plus I have eczema so it doesn't all agree with me.

Anyway, like I said I'm trying to be much more careful in the sun. When I was younger I was guilty of getting burnt. I've never been a sun worshipper who sits in it all day though. But I've been sunburnt a fair few times.

My own mother is exactly that - a sun worshipper. She just sits in it for hours and puts oil on to burn. No good for anyone but that's her choice.

I seen my mum recently. I had some shorts on. She told me that my legs were too white for it and I should tan them up before wearing shorts again. Aibu to think that's really bleddy rude? It takes a lot of confidence for me to wear a pair of shorts as it is as not so skinny since having dc.

I agree a tan looks incredible but aibu to think people should embrace pale too? Particularly those fair headed people like me who are more at risk of the sun rays. My mum is naturally much darker skinned than me anyway. I don't know where I get the ginger gene from tbh.

So yes aibu to embrace the pale? And just think bugger it I'm going to go out with shorts and pale legs. It's so hot here! 😒

I don't have enough time to sit in the sun (with suncream) to even get a slight tan. I'm just not a fan of sitting around in it.

OP posts:

Ratonastick · 15/06/2021 16:17

I can burn by opening the curtains on a sunny day. I class a tan as anything that takes me off blue (hat tilt to B Connolly). I used to have a friend who tanned very easily and endlessly took the piss about my factor 50 and devotion to shade, saying that it was pointless and I just needed to “colour up”. Used to irritate me beyond sense. She only shut up when I lost my rag and asked her what she wanted me to do. Subject myself to injury and pain plus increase my cancer risk to prove her wrong?

VladmirsPoutine · 15/06/2021 16:19

@@Letsallscreamatthesistene It's like if you don't laugh - you'll cry. So choose the former. I've been a race activist for years so believe me I'd never laugh at anyone's 'colour'. Check my previous threads/comments on here even - I'm always championing these things.

NameChange456789 · 15/06/2021 16:19

@VladmirsPoutine

I know it's a serious issue and all that but all you pale people coming to air your grievances!

Can I ask - did a lot of the commentary come from other pale-skinned people, people of other races or who? Because it's just such a mis-match to me. When I was born apparently one of my aunts congratulated my parents that I wasn't "too dark." So I can't get over how anybody could mock literal whiteness!!

All different, I have had many white people comment on my pale skin.

In school it was mainly boys, and were mixed and black

InnaBun · 15/06/2021 16:20

@VladmirsPoutine

"Once a literal stranger on the beach told me he needed sunglasses to be around me because I was too bright and should come with a health warning."

@Letsallscreamatthesistene I'm sorry but

How is making a comment like that in any way funny? A complete stranger taking the piss out of someone's skin colour. People are opening up here and explaining how they are mocked for being pale have some respect.

VladmirsPoutine · 15/06/2021 16:23

@InnaBun see my above explanation. I'm not laughing at that. I have said these comments are despicable and how even I wanted to be white as a child. Read the thread!

Joolsin · 15/06/2021 16:24

Another one chosen by the goth life here!! I have very dark hair, grey green eyes and pale, pale blue/white skin. I used to tan/burn as a child but since my teens just go from white to red to white again. I don't sit out in the sun as can burn in minutes, always with ridiculous marks and edges. When I really was a goth in my teens and early 20s, the paleness was so obviously part of the overall look that people didn't single out that one aspect to comment on, but I've had many a remark passed on my blinding whiteness since. I just shrug and say I like my skin. Have never fake tanned as I think I wouldn't look like me.

InnaBun · 15/06/2021 16:24

[quote VladmirsPoutine]@InnaBun see my above explanation. I'm not laughing at that. I have said these comments are despicable and how even I wanted to be white as a child. Read the thread![/quote]
Apologies, cross posted (I have RTFT)

WorraLiberty · 15/06/2021 16:24

To be fair to VladmirsPoutine, before that comment we were all kind of laughing at ourselves, so I think she just misread the poster's tone.

frecklefacee · 15/06/2021 16:27

I’m really pale and can never tan. I can only burn, and then peel😂. I gave up trying to tan a few years ago and have started to embrace being pale. I really do feel much happier

TheGumption · 15/06/2021 16:28

@VladmirsPoutine

I know it's a serious issue and all that but all you pale people coming to air your grievances!

My grandma did this too!! Literally in the hospital told my mum "she's lovely and pale. Good."

InnaBun · 15/06/2021 16:28

"Excuse me are you ok? You're very pale?"
"I'm fine, I'm always this pale"
"No, you're reallly pale"
"Yup"

Mytiredeyeshaveseenenough · 15/06/2021 16:29

What's a tan?

Never had one and doubt I ever will until the freckle nation becomes as one.

Other than that, I fry. Just a shame I can't actually feel the burning on my head until it's far too late.

Smallfry79 · 15/06/2021 16:30

I'm Irish but not super pale. My legs are def the whitest part of me though. There is a meme this thread reminded me of though which does laugh at paleness.
Hope people aren't offended by it Its not meant to insult but show how society does comment on paleness

FrenchieFromGrease · 15/06/2021 16:36

I'm another blue-white person. Whenever my colleagues go on holiday, on their first day back they make a beeline for me so they can compare their tanned arms against my bright white ones.

When I was a teenager I was really embarrassed by people constantly telling me I looked ill, so I used to go on sunbeds () but I actually just don't have the tanning gene. I could go on the sunbed for 12 minutes straight and still come off pale. Now I embrace my paleness. If it's good enough for Dita von Teese it's good enough for me!

Also, I can't believe nobody has posted this meme yet...

FrenchieFromGrease · 15/06/2021 16:37

@Smallfry79

I'm Irish but not super pale. My legs are def the whitest part of me though. There is a meme this thread reminded me of though which does laugh at paleness. Hope people aren't offended by it Its not meant to insult but show how society does comment on paleness

Cross Post!

ikeepseeingit · 15/06/2021 16:39

I’ve been told I’m the palest person they have ever met. They had just come from Ireland and we were mid January in Edinburgh 😂 I have never cared for people telling me my legs are milk bottles or that I’d be pretty if I tanned. I get very angry that people think they’re allowed to comment on my natural skin colour, they wouldn’t say a black person was too black or that curly hair was too curly, I just am who I am and they can fuck right off. Long story short, paleness can be very pretty, I bet your hair looks amazing and suits your skin tone brilliantly. It looks far better than orange tan and blotchy skin that’s for sure.

PattyPan · 15/06/2021 16:40

@VladmirsPoutine all the comments I’ve ever had have been from less pale white people

VladmirsPoutine · 15/06/2021 16:46

Today I have learnt that there is colourism in the white community too. Wow. Everyday's a school day!

Soubriquet · 15/06/2021 16:49

That meme is funny

You don’t see her straight away

Soubriquet · 15/06/2021 16:51

I don’t have contact with my family now but in the summer I was always being told I was “too white”, “look ill” and “go sit in the sun for a bit will you”

ItsSnowJokes · 15/06/2021 16:52

Tanned skin is damaged skin! Don't do it!

I am also ginger and very pale. Fake tan looks so orange on me no matter what brand I use that I just stay pale and keep out of the sun.

Years and years ago it was seen as "common" to have tanned skin as it showed you worked outside. The upper classes all had pale skin. We are just upper classes a few centuries too late 🤣🤣

VladmirsPoutine · 15/06/2021 17:04

I know the tone of the thread has changed but:

"they wouldn’t say a black person was too black or that curly hair was too curly" -

@ikeepseeingit they actually would/ they actually did and do. There's something called racism which can outline why that would actually and has actually been said :)

MistyGreenAndBlue · 15/06/2021 17:38

I dont like tanned skin. I genuinely dont think it's attractive. I can't be the only one surely? Embrace the alabaster. I'm sure you're gorgeous.

JewelGarden · 15/06/2021 17:43

I really like the fake tan look actually I think some of them look great and they do add a healthy glow. I can't be arsed though so I just stay white and red and blotchy and veiny

PawsQueen · 15/06/2021 17:43

@VladmirsPoutine yep I have had a lot of abuse over my hair too (I have curly hair, probably 3A)

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