To embrace being pale!

[Boo2012]

Hi all, I'm very fair and freckle. Ginger/Strawberry blonde. I have been tanned in the past. Mainly when I was younger from the sun. But I'm more careful now I'm older. I've tried fake tan but I'm not great at it plus I have eczema so it doesn't all agree with me.

Anyway, like I said I'm trying to be much more careful in the sun. When I was younger I was guilty of getting burnt. I've never been a sun worshipper who sits in it all day though. But I've been sunburnt a fair few times.

My own mother is exactly that - a sun worshipper. She just sits in it for hours and puts oil on to burn. No good for anyone but that's her choice.

I seen my mum recently. I had some shorts on. She told me that my legs were too white for it and I should tan them up before wearing shorts again. Aibu to think that's really bleddy rude? It takes a lot of confidence for me to wear a pair of shorts as it is as not so skinny since having dc.

I agree a tan looks incredible but aibu to think people should embrace pale too? Particularly those fair headed people like me who are more at risk of the sun rays. My mum is naturally much darker skinned than me anyway. I don't know where I get the ginger gene from tbh.

So yes aibu to embrace the pale? And just think bugger it I'm going to go out with shorts and pale legs. It's so hot here! 😒

I don't have enough time to sit in the sun (with suncream) to even get a slight tan. I'm just not a fan of sitting around in it.

@VladmirsPoutine

"Once a literal stranger on the beach told me he needed sunglasses to be around me because I was too bright and should come with a health warning."

@Letsallscreamatthesistene I'm sorry but

It really isn't at all.

The rest of my family are dark skinned and believed (in the 70s and 80s) that you needed to expose yourself to the sun to 'get used to it'. I used to burn horrendously every year, which was utterly miserable at the time and has meant by my mid 40s I'd had numerous lesions and moles removed - basal cell carcinomas and pre-cancerous moles, as well as several melanoma scares. I used to stay inside on holiday while they were all stretched out sunbathing, and constantly got told off for being miserable and ungrateful. 'What's the point of bringing you? Next time you can stay at home with grandma.'

I was bullied about it as a teenager in the 80s when everyone was slathering on Hawaiian Tropic coconut oil and frying themselves. It meant I couldn't do stuff with friends in the summer, because they'd all be out in the sun all day and I would be covered in red welts after twenty minutes. Sports day was a nightmare, when we had to sit in the sun, but if you asked to move you were made to feel fussy and high maintenance, and if it was allowed you had to sit on your own like a right lemon. I remember one girl in my year coming up to me and asking if I was wearing white tights, and going on and on about it when I said no, getting everyone else to look. 'Doesn't it look like she is, though? Those really thick white tights?'

My own children have the same skin type, and face the same mockery. 'Is your surname Cullen?' 'Are you one of the undead?' Thankfully though they have never, ever been sunburnt and know how to protect their skin, so hopefully won't have to worry about developing skin cancer in later life.

Pale skinned people get teased about how undesirable it looks. They also have to deal with the fact that it is far, far more vulnerable to sun damage and burning in childhood is associated with 80-90% of skin cancers. It really is pretty ignorant to find any of that amusing.

@Classica

It's an injection that let's you tan in the sun

It was invented to help decrease skin cancer not sure how tho 🤦‍♀️

But it works I used it and got an amazing tan that really lasted but starting a family I couldn't keep injecting myself with a illegal drug but I do miss my tan 🤣

I think its shocking when people comment negatively on pale skin. It's really rude and bizarre. Its just a skin colour like any other.

@BeforetheFlood I understand that. I was having a light-hearted laugh with all the pale people on the thread and remarking on my own desire to be white as a child. I have said a gazillion times I am not laughing 'at' anybody's skin colour. I'm mixed myself and have been a race activist for years. I'm not sure why you're taking my post out of context.

[quote VladmirsPoutine]@BeforetheFlood I understand that. I was having a light-hearted laugh with all the pale people on the thread and remarking on my own desire to be white as a child. I have said a gazillion times I am not laughing 'at' anybody's skin colour. I'm mixed myself and have been a race activist for years. I'm not sure why you're taking my post out of context.[/quote]
I'm not taking anything out of context, I've read all your posts and I'm not in any way denying my white privilege or claiming this is some kind of reverse racism because it's a different kind of issue entirely. But it is a stigma, and it is something that has been the source of much shame and poor self-esteem throughout my life, so the light-hearted laugh and 'support group' comments hit a nerve.

I think it could be likened to people who think it's OK to remark on how thin someone is, because society generally perceives thinness to be desirable. But for those who people deem to have 'taken it too far', who may be struggling with health conditions/eating disorders, or dealing with issues associated with a low BMI, it is similarly upsetting.

Oh - and OP, good on you for embracing the pale!!

I am pale skinned, my sister olive.
She gloried in her tanning ability when we were young. I honestly spent twenty years in a competition I could NEVER win.😂

I often have make up counter staff insist I need bronzer to "warm my skin up". No i just want my usual pale pink blush thanks.

I'm not in any way denying my white privilege or claiming this is some kind of reverse racism because it's a different kind of issue entirely. But it is a stigma. this is how I feel about it. I'm guessing it feels the same for people with red hair.

Another problem (I’ve found) is foundation. Even the porcelain and ivory shades don’t match my paleness so I have to buy a more expensive brand with a wider variety of shades.

With regards to foundation it's so much better these days (for people of all skin tones) than it was even five years ago. A high street brand like L'Oreal, for example, has about 30 shades in its True Match range whereas before there'd be about 8 shades in total catering for the not especially pale to the not especially dark.

[quote VladmirsPoutine]@BeforetheFlood I understand that. I was having a light-hearted laugh with all the pale people on the thread and remarking on my own desire to be white as a child. I have said a gazillion times I am not laughing 'at' anybody's skin colour. I'm mixed myself and have been a race activist for years. I'm not sure why you're taking my post out of context.[/quote]
Well I took your laughs as being good-natured.

That's true with regards to foundation. I really grew up thinking white people all had it brilliant lives - not so much as in literally amazing lives. But like when I'd for instance experience things because of my race and white people didn't I'd always notice. Even the foundation thing so I suppose that's why in part I find this discourse bemusing despite now understanding it caused a lot of trauma and insecurities growing up for a lot of you. I can't say it's the same and it doesn't work both ways but I guess we all have our insecurities.

Well I took your laughs as being good-natured.

Me too.

@HannaHat

Another problem (I’ve found) is foundation. Even the porcelain and ivory shades don’t match my paleness so I have to buy a more expensive brand with a wider variety of shades.

@HannaHat Have you tried The Ordinary foundations?. They are cheap and have a few different pale shades. I am a 1.0P because I have pinkish undertones, but they have pale shades in yellow and neutral undertones too.

Some Korean BB creams are suitable for us pale faces too, the Missha BB Cream in shades 13 and 21 are really good.

But I feel your pain, before I discovered these my foundation invariably looked like a pancake.

Aah no I haven’t heard of those, I’ll have a look Frenchie 👍🏻

I don’t have a choice but to embrace the pale because I’m too lazy for fake tan.

I think lots of people on this thread are imagining Nicola Roberts though when most pale people (or is it just us Scots?) are more purple/blue/pink which is fine but it’s not the romantic vision of paleness that people have

@HannaHat

Another problem (I’ve found) is foundation. Even the porcelain and ivory shades don’t match my paleness so I have to buy a more expensive brand with a wider variety of shades.

Have you looked at Il Makiage? Good foundation with a load of shades

I'm very pale. I get what I deem to be some very rude comments about it. I used to burn my skin until it was red raw in the hope of having a tan because it's "looks healthier" (the irony). Now I slap on factor 50. I'm no longer willing to put my health at risk to have a tan.

This angers me so much!

I have near black hair and white skin and the comments are relentless and I do not understand why it is tolerated.

No one should be made to feel inadequate because of their skin colour.
Derogatory comments against darker skin tones are absolutely rightly called out and taken very seriously but pale white seems to be fair game, as if it’s funny to take the piss.
Ditto red hair.
It’s fucking disgusting.

I have spent my whole life being called a ghost, a vampire, goth, morticia, pale and pasty, I get the ‘you are so pale, are you sick?’ comments and the comments to use some fake tan or a sunbed on those ‘pasty’ legs.

I don’t like my skin colour very much as a result.
I don’t mind winter but I feel out of place in the summer and would prefer to be tan but like many pale people I burn and fake tan is expensive, sheds colour on clothes/sheets, smells odd and is often streaky.
I try and avoid photographs too as in the right light I literally glow ethereal white and it makes me feel so, so uncomfortable sticking out like that.

I really feel it needs to be taken a lot more seriously than it is.

OP, try and ignore if you can.

My sister has the kind of skin that goes a lovely, olivey colour- sort of Italian/ Spanish type colour. I have the sort of skin that goes the colour of a post box! All my life I've wanted a tan and at my age I've come to the realization it's not gonna happen.
Many years ago, I borrowed a friend's sun bed to try and tan my legs. For control, I stuck a plaster on my leg to compare and contrast the difference, all good. After a week, the bloody plaster had more colour than my legs! I use tinted body lotion now.

Its just an opportunity for bitchy fuckers to get a dig in isnt it, as weirdly its seen as acceptable to slag off pale skin

Another pale freckle here!

I will not tolerate any comments about my lack of tan. In fact, my workplace once attempted a disciplinary because I told someone to stick their comments up their fucking arse.. Attempted.

I nearly got sent home from school once because I looked too pale, I had to point out that it was my normal skin colour 😳 Bit awkward.

The doctor commented on my baby's pallor. Had to say that no it wasn't a concern but normal for her!