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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partners towel??

98 replies

Coatz · 15/06/2021 11:02

My DP hasn't put his towel into the wash basket to be washed for at least 2-3 months now it might be longer but I've lost track... I know it hasn't been washed as he doesn't even know how to work the machine. This is disgusting isn't it?

OP posts:
NanaNorasNaughtyKnickers · 15/06/2021 11:04

It wouldn't bother me. Wash them if they smell.

Spied · 15/06/2021 11:05

Yes but if you're washing his clothes he likely thinks you're washing this towel.
I'd not get too hung up on the towel.

Ivy48 · 15/06/2021 11:06

My partner sometimes does this but only a week or so and when I say we’ll just grab a fresh one and put the other in the wash he says he’s doesn’t want to add to my washing Grin if he can’t use the mad home I’m assuming you do his washing? Why not just wash to rather than complain?

InnaBun · 15/06/2021 11:08

Do you do his washing? Maybe ask if it needs a wash as it stinks?

InnaBun · 15/06/2021 11:09

You shouldn't have to but maybe he is happy using the same stinky towel day in day out.

Original poster
Coatz · 15/06/2021 11:14

I do all the washing but we have a wash basket and he knows that anything that needs washing should go into the basket. I have never just taken his towels/clothes to wash unless they are in the basket so he is aware it needs to be in there to be washed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coatz · 15/06/2021 11:17

I don't think it needs to be washed after every use or anything but surely when it's getting to months it's a little gross to not want it washed?

OP posts:
GreenCrayon · 15/06/2021 11:19

It would bother me more that the person I had chosen to be my partner was apparently incapable of learning to using a washing machine to be honest. It's hardly rocket science.

InnaBun · 15/06/2021 11:20

Just leave it then. Or say "I'm doing a towel wash - does yours need doing?". It's disgusting but his choice I guess.

Hallyup6 · 15/06/2021 11:21

Yes it's grim but our towels never make it to the washing basket because I just walk into the bathroom and pick the whole lot up, chuck in the machine and then return them. I couldn't let something like that bother me.

BarbaraofSeville · 15/06/2021 11:21

'he doesn't even know how to work the machine'

What utter bollocks. If men being unable to work machines was really a thing, it wouldn't be the case that most people who design, build, repair and use machines are men.

Why are you doing all the washing?

Moonshine11 · 15/06/2021 11:22

As pp ours don’t go in the washing basket I get them and wash.
It’s not hard for him to do I agree but it’ll be stink so just wash it for him. Doesn’t need to be an issue

TillyTottenham · 15/06/2021 11:24

Just wash it weekly.
It's better not to throw towels in the wash basket as they may often be damp.

TedHastingsweeDonkey · 15/06/2021 11:27

Do you guys communicate? Talk to each other? What's wrong with saying "I'm washing towels today!" Or do you need his permission?? And do you really need to make a point by only washing things that are in the basket? I'd just get it from wherever it's being hung up and replace with a clean one. Sorry but this is such an over complication...

magpie2307 · 15/06/2021 11:27

Yeah this is pretty disgusting, although it's his and if he wants a minging towel that's his business. My husband knows how to work the machine and does so frequently. However he doesn't see it as important to wash his towel every week like I do. He doesn't really understand why I wash the bedding each week either 🙄

cupsofcoffee · 15/06/2021 11:35

That is gross but I just wash all the towels together. It would never occur to me leave someone else's towel to make some kind of point?

Original poster
Coatz · 15/06/2021 11:36

@barbaraofseville I do it all because he is of the opinion that women do all the household stuff. Plus I work part time (and DP says as I'm off for 2 days looking after our DC those are my days off so expects I have all the time in the world for household chores) which fair enough I get his point but shouldnt mean I should do everything in the house but I have no choice as he doesnt lift a finger ever.

@moonshine11 yes I know I should just wash it and make it a non issue but even my 13 yr old knows to put his in the wash when he feels it needs washing (usually once a week) we have plenty of towels so it can be thrown in the wash and another one can be used, he doesnt need to wait for the same towel to be clean.

OP posts:
Slub · 15/06/2021 11:37

I never put towels in the linen basket because they are usually damp. Just grab them from the bedrooms and bathrooms and shove straight in the machine.
Jeez just wash it - you could have already put it in the machine and turned it on rather than moaning on this thread.

DianeCherry · 15/06/2021 11:38

Just wash it. Non-issue. Why get so upset about it or is there more to the story?

GreenCrayon · 15/06/2021 11:39

I do it all because he is of the opinion that women do all the household stuff. Plus I work part time (and DP says as I'm off for 2 days looking after our DC those are my days off so expects I have all the time in the world for household chores) which fair enough I get his point but shouldnt mean I should do everything in the house but I have no choice as he doesnt lift a finger ever.

So basically this isn't about a towel it's about how you married a misogynistic man child who thinks you're only purpose in life is to look after the children, be a good wife and serve him.

Original poster
Coatz · 15/06/2021 11:40

@tedhastingsweedonkey I don't just wash all the towels one day, I wash what is in the wash basket is that so hard to understand?
Not everyone's towel needs washing on the same day so they go into the basket to be done when I come across them.
If I washed everyone's towel on the same day then of course I would grab everyone's but thats not how I do it.

OP posts:
InnaBun · 15/06/2021 11:41

I think there are bigger issues than his towel here

SurelyNott · 15/06/2021 11:42

It’s gross but I can’t get past the fact he has a towel.

We seem to have 568 towels for every child in this house it drives me nuts! I have a room of fucking towels and I swear I’m washing clean ones.

A towel, a world with one towel, mind blowing.

Robin233 · 15/06/2021 11:44

@slub said ^^
I grab the hand towels twice a week and bath/ shower towels once a week
Everyone in the house knows NOT to put a towel in the laundry basket - which maybe damp, but to hang up to dry.
What's the real issue OP?

Moonshine11 · 15/06/2021 11:47

You need a wash day specifically for towels I think 😂
Don’t get the big deal, let him have a smelly towel if he doesn’t want to put it in the basket. But I don’t see the issue of just washing them all at the same time once a week.