No mask so school bus left my DD

[onanislandfaraway]

Both me and my DP was at work today so my 13yo DD has to be home alone for a couple of hours until DP gets home at 6pm. I texted her asking did she get home OK and she told me she'd lost her mask during a sports session at school and that the school bus wouldn't let her on so left her at school.

She didn't want to hassle me or DP at work so rang her nan to pick her up and thank god she was able to and only lives a 15 minute drive away so wasn't waiting around too long. Her school is in the next town over to where we live so way too far for her to walk home. AIBU to think that the school bus is responsible for getting children home and should not have just left her at the school? Shouldn't they have spare masks just incase of instances like this? I will of course be making sure she has plenty of spare masks in her bag, to be honest she did use to carry a few spares but didn't happen to have any today. I am quite angry that they've done this.

[quote Rillington]@Workingfromhomeishell Sarah Everard went missing at night. This 13 year old was at her school with many staff around. Totally not the same.[/quote]
Millie Dowler went missing after school. Things can happen at any time of day.

"The bus driver had a duty of care to get your daughter home and should not have left her,"

The bus driver has to follow the rules set by his employer if he wants to keep his job. That is how it is with many jobs.

@Benediction

I think this is outrageous. What if she had attempted to walk home and been abducted or run over? Yes worst case scenarios but that is what safeguarding is for. If she were an 18 year old that is different but I would be absolutely fuming if my 13 year old were effectively abandoned to her own devices like this.

dear god, get a grip and then teach your child to be responsible for themselves.

I think OP mentioned this is official school transport, which IMO changes things.
If the school has provided transport, then they are responsible for arranging alternatives for children who miss it, IMO.

Anyway, child is home, no problem. Make sure she has a spare mask for next time, or something like a scarf that can be wrapped around her mouth and nose as an emergency.

@Benediction your dd wont be able to navigate the world at 18 unless you start letting her practice now. Teach her how to use a phone, to cross a road safely, to work out what to do if her travel plans go wrong. It would be easy to poke fun but really it's sad you have so little faith in her abilities.

School transport is provided by the council.

[quote BarbarianMum]@Benediction your dd wont be able to navigate the world at 18 unless you start letting her practice now. Teach her how to use a phone, to cross a road safely, to work out what to do if her travel plans go wrong. It would be easy to poke fun but really it's sad you have so little faith in her abilities.[/quote]
I don't have a 13 year old daughter.

I do have a 20 year old autistic son who attended mainstream (actually, a grammar) secondary and is now in specialist college where he is by far the most brilliant programmer, outshining NT peers, but refuses to carry a phone, or ride in a taxi, and has never successfully made a bus journey alone, or gone to a cafe alone or to the pub with his friends.

The thing about disability is that every child is different. My son could no more have solved the issue of being left off his transport at 13 than a blind child could have managed to try really really hard to see or a kid in a wheelchair be able to walk if they just made a bigger effort.

It's not as simple as having faith in his abilities or "letting him practice" and that you think it is merely demonstrates your complete ignorance about disability.

And the issue here is that my son at 13 looked just like his peers. The bus driver wouldn't have known about his disability.

Any child could be autistic, or depressed, or have poor planning skills, or a communication problem. They don't come with a huge sign around their neck. There is a duty of care if you are the bus driver transporting rural kids 5 miles home to another town via forest roads . If you are inner city and it's a public bus route and another bus will be along in 10 mins that is a bit different.

So sorry, you are saying that you put your son on the bus without ever discussing/coaching him in what to do if he missed it for whatever reason? Because that's really odd. And you can keep your outraged red herrings. Lots of disabled children take school or public transport or walk to school. They are equipped by their parents with the skills (or even a set of instructions) on what to do if things go wrong. And they manage fine as do their nt peers. Not all children can manage that level of autonomy of course, and for them additional or alternative arrangements are made.

"Any child could be autistic, or depressed, or have poor planning skills, or a communication problem. They don't come with a huge sign around their neck. There is a duty of care if you are the bus driver transporting rural kids 5 miles home to another town via forest roads . If you are inner city and it's a public bus route and another bus will be along in 10 mins that is a bit different."

This.. The bus driver probably had no idea of the girl's personal circumstances.. which could have been very unfavourable in this scenario.

And to the people saying a kid can walk 5 miles in a rural area home would not let their own children do it. I picked up a lad a couple of years ago who had missed the bus, I saw him walking along a really nasty country road, at dusk, got him safely home. I could see he was wary of getting in the car but I explained that my school friend had been killed doing same. He was really grateful. He had tried ringing his parents but couldn’t get them. This sort of thing is dangerous. I used to be able to walk home where I live but way too dangerous now.

I'm sure it's been said already that bys drivers are at higher risk of Covid than the general population. The ultimate worst case scenario for the bus driver is he dies (some have). To me that trumps a 13 year old being slightly inconvenienced. Plus the next day it wouldn't have been just the one kid without.

bus!

It's so bizarre the lengths people are going to to defend the slavish adherence to children wearing masks at all costs whatever the circumstances.

It's easy to be on that side of the fence in this thread because we know on this particular day this particular child got home without issue.

The point is another day /another child the outcome could have been different. And there were so many other sensible safer options the school bus driver could have taken.

The world has gone mad.

Truly shows how much covid has damaged peoples ability to care about anything other than covid that people are actually saying a child should be denied her way home because of forgetting a mask. I

Your DD should have had a spare mask or at least thought to ask for one at school or from a friend. She's 13 not 8.

Do not make a complaint about a bus driver following the rules!

Our Ds's school bus provider emails us at least once a week reminding us travel will be refused to children without a mask. I guess it depends on how clear the company has made the policy.

"that people are actually saying a child should be denied her way home because of forgetting a mask."

I think most people are saying that the bus driver has his own rules that he has to follow. He may not personally give a fuck about masks.

Surprised at some of the replies on here. She’s a child. YANBU.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

And to the people saying a kid can walk 5 miles in a rural area home would not let their own children do it. I picked up a lad a couple of years ago who had missed the bus, I saw him walking along a really nasty country road, at dusk, got him safely home. I could see he was wary of getting in the car but I explained that my school friend had been killed doing same. He was really grateful. He had tried ringing his parents but couldn’t get them. This sort of thing is dangerous. I used to be able to walk home where I live but way too dangerous now.

It was nice that you cared and helped, but I am afraid you unwittingly created a precedence for the kid when he get home safely with a nice stranger and will be less wary next time to get into a car with someone less nice then yourself.

I think its better to call the police or the school in this case and wait with the kid for them to arrive. That way the kid learns not to get into a car with a stranger. Even calling his school friend or anyone else than the parents would do, if he couldnt reach the parents.

Kids in now way should get into a stranger´s car imho

@epcot15
With respect to Millie, the vast majority of children who are murdered, are murdered by a relative, not a stranger.

It's not just about COVID and masks though is it. In pre COVID times kids would be turned away from school (or regular) buses for forgetting their pass/ticket/fare. Or they'd miss it because a teacher wanted a word, or because they were doodling with their mates, or forgot a text book a d ran back for it. Secondary school kids who catch buses all need a plan b even if that's "go to school reception and ask for help" or "call mum on your mobile".

@Sockwomble

School transport is provided by the council.

Not in our neck of the woods. Most school buses are provided by private companies. The council only arrange transport for a very small number of children with SEN.

@Benediction

And the issue here is that my son at 13 looked just like his peers. The bus driver wouldn't have known about his disability.

Any child could be autistic, or depressed, or have poor planning skills, or a communication problem. They don't come with a huge sign around their neck. There is a duty of care if you are the bus driver transporting rural kids 5 miles home to another town via forest roads . If you are inner city and it's a public bus route and another bus will be along in 10 mins that is a bit different.

Did you miss the part where the bus was at the school, she had a phone, she rang a relative.

@BarbarianMum

So sorry, you are saying that you put your son on the bus without ever discussing/coaching him in what to do if he missed it for whatever reason? Because that's really odd. And you can keep your outraged red herrings. Lots of disabled children take school or public transport or walk to school. They are equipped by their parents with the skills (or even a set of instructions) on what to do if things go wrong. And they manage fine as do their nt peers. Not all children can manage that level of autonomy of course, and for them additional or alternative arrangements are made.

FFS No of course I bloody didn't put him on the bus without ever discussing what to do. He had "what to do if" cards, we rehearsed routes etc

Knowing in theory what to do is a huge step away from accessing that plan and putting it into action. Part of my son's autism is severe social anxiety, poor executive functioning including planning and repair skills, and an inability to speak to most people. He once sat outside the school rear gate for an hour and a half because he was 2 minutes late, it was locked, and he couldn't bring himself to go round to the front gate (as rehearsed) because it was different and scary. It's a bloody disability not poor parenting or a lack of moral fibre.