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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else’s DH this disgusting or just mine.

126 replies

LunaMuffinTop · 13/06/2021 20:56

My DH and I have 2 dogs and the youngest was sick the other night DH used a sponge to clean it up I have just gone into the kitchen and noticed a sponge in the washing up bowl I text my DH to ask about it hoping that it wouldn’t be the same one that he used the other night and got told that yes it is the one that he used the other night to clean up the sick and he has been using it to wash the dishes he apparently cleaned it before he used it. I have no words is anyone else’s DH that bloody lazy and disgusting or is it just mine. Envy Envy most definitely not envy.

OP posts:
AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 14/06/2021 13:04

You see this thread concerns me more with the number of people saying 'bin it straightaway.'

Why? It's notions like this that really mess up our planet. If it can be hygienically cleaned, clean it. Having these illogical sensibilities and just sets a bad example for the next generation. There's no need to get as far away from something dirty as quickly as possible; just clean it and yourself carefully.

LunaMuffinTop · 14/06/2021 14:17

@Bellyups haha is it divorce worthy?

@CorianderBee no it happened at about 9pm so he wasn't half asleep or anything when it happened so it's just him being lazy and disgusting

@Wingedharpy I will have to start watching my DH like a hawk I didn't think he would ever be that rank but he still manages to surprise me with how dirty he can be.

@dayslikethese1 You would really struggle in my house the way DH is he even makes me anxious with his antics.

@musthavebeenlove Thank you glad its not just me that has a dirty DH. I think I will have to get big on hygiene when it comes to my DH and making sure he's not doing things that he shouldn't.

@AnyOldPrion Thank you that is very reassuring to know yes they where dried properly but I can't swear to it that the towel was very clean lol. He is definitely a keeper even if he's a dirty pig he has some lovely qualities that make up for his rank habits.

@BritWifeInUSA haha lol not even sure my DH knows what a hazmat suit is. I wish my DH was that neat and tidy.

@LittleMG I'm not sure who the 6% are but they must be just as dirty as my DH.

@1Endeavour2 haha lol sounds like my DH he always claims he doesn't know where stuff is. We've had those same who-does-what arguments and it gets me nowhere think I will just have to learn to compromise on things a bit. I will make sure there is enough cloths in the house for him so that he doesn't end up keeping a dirty sponge. Thank you I will do I don't want to end up doing everything because he's being a nightmare.

OP posts:
LunaMuffinTop · 14/06/2021 14:21

@Bluedeblue haha I'm sorry but that made me laugh that's the kind of thing I would expect my DH to as well and he wouldn't think twice about putting something on my pillow. I would love to know what makes them think its ok to do that.

@AtomHeartMotherOfGod In my mind if its been used to clean up sick then I wouldn't want to wash my dishes with it because to me that's dirty but now that I know that so long as it's cleaned properly then its ok to still be used but still not nice and I still don't think I would use it to wash my dishes.

OP posts:
NewlyGranny · 14/06/2021 15:31

Kitchen sponges get demoted to the laundry weekly, or even sooner if something like that has happened!

DH's worst is wiping round for crumbs etc (different cloth for this) and then dumping the crumpled cloth on the side where the next person to pick it up inadvertently scatters crud everywhere and has the clean up to do.

He learnt it from his DM and neither of them will ever change. 🙄

StopPokingTheRoyalTitDear · 14/06/2021 15:46

Oh god I feel sick just reading that. I’m so glad my partner isn’t that stupid.

Chickybumbum · 14/06/2021 15:54

Ex of mine used to use the downstairs loo and then wash his hands in the washing up bowl. It drove me insane

Deedoubleyou · 14/06/2021 16:08

@simbobs

Mine definitely wouldn't do that, partly because he would have left the sick for me to deal with, somehow managing not to notice it.
Oh we must have the same OH Confused
GreyhoundG1rl · 14/06/2021 16:37

A friend of mine used to grab the dishcloth beside the sink to wipe her kids faces, and I thought that was grim. But it was only ever used to wipe the table and counters.
Some of the tales on here are beyond belief 🤮

HotChocolateLover · 14/06/2021 16:41

Ugh, that’s so gross 🤮 My DH is under strict instructions that any sponges used on the floor go straight in the bin afterwards.

wolfmom · 14/06/2021 16:57

Sadly I cannot say with any certainty my OH wouldn't. We've had several disagreements about his lack of common sense regarding cleaning

TillyTopper · 14/06/2021 17:07

Gosh I feel ill reading some of these and also feel very lucky that my DP is a clean freak. OP, the dog sick on the sponge this would be divorce for me (not exaggerating), that's utterly gross!

notalwaysalondoner · 14/06/2021 17:16

That is so gross. I guess if he boiled it for 5 minutes technically it would be fine, but that doesn’t sound like the case…

But I’m someone who finds allowing dogs to lick plates before putting them in the dishwasher absolutely repulsive whereas other people think that’s fine…

SappysCurry · 14/06/2021 17:49

@KILNAMATRA

High on the yuck factor but if that sponge was exposed to water over 70 degrees most bugs would die... so yuck, but don’t stress too much.., show him the kitchen roll... mine refuses to blow his nose .. rather snort the muckback up there...🤢
That sniffing is going to drive you insane eventually 🤯
Wingedharpy · 14/06/2021 17:59

Bear with me with my theory on this.
I know it's not PC to say these things these days but, I do think the male of the species and the female of the species are wired differently when it comes to hygiene and domestic order.
My theory is that it's a throwback to the days when we were cave dwellers.
The male of the species, being generally physically bigger and stronger than the female (YES, I know there are exceptions) did the hunting and gathering.
That would generally involve trecking off in all sorts of weather, hanging about in the undergrowth, laying low in dug outs getting covered in mud, manure, animal blood etc etc
It would be beneficial in that case, not to be too fussed about hygiene type stuff.

The female of the species, would generally, remain round the camp guarding the young and vulnerable and protecting the camp from predators.

What would encourage predators to the camp?
Poor hygiene - that's what!

Carelessly discarded bits of food would attract all sorts of threats.

Piled up mess would provide a home and shelter for vermin which spread disease, bite you or your children and could eat their way through any stores of consumables being saved for the lean seasons.

Therefore, the female of the species learned that maintaining good hygiene and domestic order = keeping safe/well/surviving.

Some of us are more evolved than others!

That's my take on it.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 14/06/2021 18:43

@DrManhattan

Don't believe this is real. Who is really that gross and stupid
My mother. Well, if she actually bothered to clean it up in the first place, that is, rather than just picking up any solids and flicking them into the toilet before rubbing the wet stuff into the carpet so it couldn't be seen, that is.

I'm sure it's real.

People who have grown up in muck and filth need to learn. I certainly did - I'd never even seen a mop, much less witnessed one in action, or removed bits of old cooking and grease from a grill pan unless it was on fire at the time (rinse under the cold tap, put back under the grill).

I learned through a mixture of part time jobs and not wanting to poison my baby. Wouldn't have had a clue otherwise.

LindaEllen · 14/06/2021 18:46

DSS cleaned bird poo off the window and then put the sponge back next to the sink but thank god i saw him do it.

He's 17 and should absolutely know better.

Averyyounggrandmaofsix · 14/06/2021 18:47

Would never happen here - because he wouldn't have cleared the vomit up in the first place. Perhaps I should be grateful.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 14/06/2021 19:20

That's awful, we have a pink sponge for washing up, a yellow one for vomit and a brown one for... well it doesn't matter really.

FluffyMcWuffy · 14/06/2021 21:59

[quote LunaMuffinTop]@FluffyMcWuffy how did you manage to change your DH’s cleaning habits I’ve been trying for nearly 4 years and I thought I had cracked it but I was massively wrong have you got any advice that I can use to train him. My DH’s parents live the same way so he’s watched them living in grime and does the same thing but I really thought I had got on top of his dirty ways.

@ForbiddenAppleEatingShits I do the same thing it’s cleaned up properly and the dirty rags are put in the bin and the things that can be washed are put in the washing machine not my DH though and god knows why he thought it was ok to do that.

@fantasmasgoria1 I wouldn’t put it past my DH’s parents to do the same thing.

@Rainbows89 my DH knows I hate the way he “cleans” at times but I never in a million years thought he would do something like that this.[/quote]
@LunaMuffinTop constant reiteration to be honest of how to do things, why we do it that way and the risk if we don't. It helped that due to his lack of cleanliness habits that he caught giardia quite a few years which was pretty horrific for him. In addition that if he did not clean up shit properly that it would have a financial consequence on him as I'd have to replace stuff as if its not cleaned up properly it will stain etc... He still has relapses on occasions but is 100% better. It also helps that our home has a baseline cleanliness that his parents home does not. He's seen the light!

Tessabelle1 · 14/06/2021 23:49

I'm genuinely surprised that 5% of people think YABU! I hope they voted by mistake!

PennineWayinSlingbacks · 15/06/2021 00:14

I saw a dried yellow stain on my new Sea salt bedding, couldn't work out what it was. Apparently the dog had thrown up some yellow bile so DH had wiped it with a towel and left it to dry. We had words. 🤢🤢

Moelwynbach · 15/06/2021 01:08

My husband picks his feet. My friends husband catches his certain his hand and sniffs.Grin

Moelwynbach · 15/06/2021 01:09

Sorry fart in his hand.

StickyIcky · 15/06/2021 01:46

Well, I don't see the problem in just simply lobbing the sponge in the washing machine on a "quick cycle". Modern detergents are perfectly capable of enabling the sponge to be clean and ready to use, again and again and again!

1forAll74 · 15/06/2021 02:49

I bet lots of people do such things, in lots of households, and don't say anything, and just keep quiet about things.