To tell neighbours children to leave me alone

[Pleaseleavemealone]

Live in terraced housing. Next door is a 2 bed hmo with about 4 adults, recently a mum dad and 3 kids have moved in (5, 7 and 9). As the weather is warmer understandably everyone is in their gardens.
Next doors kids just don’t understand privacy. Every single time we go in our garden - whether I am popping out to hang laundry or if my own children (3 and 1) are playing in our paddling pool - next doors kids heads pop over the fence and they just stand there the whole time staring and answering to everything I say to my own kids. For example :
Me to my daughter - “do you want an ice lolly?”
And before my daughter can answer next doors kids say “can I have one?”
Or if I am smoking (no judgment please I am trying to stop!) next doors kids will say “ew are you smoking?” And everything I do they ask me if I’m doing that.
It is getting so annoying and feel that I don’t even want to be in the garden anymore because these kids are just watching and butting into everything I say/do.
Their parents are sat in the garden the whole time and don’t say anything! But I feel it’s not my place to tell someone else’s kids off really and they aren’t being naughty.
The fences aren’t shorter than average, they have dragged something over to stand on just so they can look over my fence.
I will be on the phone (I go in my garden to take calls sometimes as my tv is on/kids are chatting away) and next doors kids will be calling me over the fence to ask me questions or ask where my children are.
Right now I’m sat in my garden after a long day of paddling pool fun, my children are inside having a drink and cool down and the kids are telling me to bring my kids outside ffs

[stressbandit]

Anti climb paint on top of the fence ASAP they'll put there hands on it wipe it down their clothes and hopefully will be told by mum and dad not to do it again. That's what Id do.

[Confusedandshaken]

@socalledfriend

Set the dogs hose on them!!

I can't think of anything more certain to encourage them. Kids love water fights.

[thenightsky]

@stressbandit

Anti climb paint on top of the fence ASAP they'll put there hands on it wipe it down their clothes and hopefully will be told by mum and dad not to do it again. That's what Id do.

Yes, this.

[WoMandalorian]

I also came here to say anti climb paint! It will cover them in black. If they ask why it's sticky you can say it's to stop people climbing on the fence, that might get the message across 😅

[MrsS92]

We had this at our old house, it was really awkward as at the time we were friendly with their parents.
My mil came round and was shocked by our lack of privacy as the children were leaning right over and shouting into our house so she got us trellis which definitely helped.
They were sweet kids and I think they were just craving some adult attention but when you have your own children and things to be doing, we just wanted a bit of peace and privacy in our garden.
I think the best thing is to just try to disengage, or speak with the parents as the children don’t know what they are doing isn’t very polite if they’ve never been taught.

[salemcat]

Pop a note in their letter box stating you & your husband a nudists & you will both be on your garden naked for the foreseeable.

[Jellybabiesforbreakfast]

Definitely trellis. You need a physical barrier.

[AbsolutelyPatsy]

i would educate them, tell them it is rude to stare,

[AbsolutelyPatsy]

and agree with telling them not to climb/lean on the fence as it would break.

[BestofLuck]

We lived in a rented house for about 18 months where this happened with next door’s kids and it drove me potty! It was in a cul de sac in a house with vertical blinds so it started with them coming up to the and staring straight into the lounge! After we’d had enough we’d pop into the back garden instead - only for something to be dragged up to the fence and faces to appear. They didn’t even want to chat, they were just nosey. I’m all for community spirit and neighbourly ways but parents should get it that this is just rude.

I actually bought a gazebo and erected it up against the fence during the summer months for some ‘shade’ so I agree with trellis and a quick growing plant. Or fake. Even if it’s not what you want ideally if it makes you happier it’s worth it.

[Anniegetyourgun]

Pop a note in their letter box stating you & your husband a nudists & you will both be on your garden naked for the foreseeable.

That could backfire. You might have the parents hanging over the fence too if they believed you.

[Rejoiningperson]

You can…

Say - sorry but this is private - just me and the kids - you have your own garden
Say - nothing. Totally ignore.
Say - what? I’m in my garden, not yours, bye!

Failing that. Grow a prickly bush at the top or put trellis all the way at the top.

[IAmAWomanNotACis]

"Can I have a lolly?"

Yes sure, go tell your mummy I said she would give you one, these are ours.

"What are you doing?"

I'm digging a hole to bury other people's children in when they've been looking over my fence asking questions again

"We are having mummy daughter time and don't want anybody watching us. It's time for you to climb down and go somewhere else now please."

"Julia? We'd like a bit of peace in our garden, can you get your boys to stop climbing on the fence and talking to us every time we are outside? Thanks a million!"

[BambooWhoosh]

Be careful with anti-climb paint. If the kids get it on their clothes/furniture and the neighbours get upset then you could be liable.

www.askthe.police.uk/Content/Q726.htm

[crimsonlake]

Personally every time they climbed up I would simply tell them to get down. I did this the first time my neighbours child climbed up my fence...never had a problem since.

[HollowTalk]

"I'll do you a deal - I'll give you an ice pop if you go away and leave me alone."

[Farwest]

As a few others have said, it's one answer, never varied, on repeat: 'Please stop looking into our garden. It is rude behaviour.'

Don't worry about your child talking to them. Whenever you see a head pop up, just repeat your phrase, even if they are mid-conversation with your dc .

[Pleaseleavemealone]

Me and 3yo DD have just sat down in the garden to have our dinner and they were already looming over the fence when we came out. They are shouting asking what we’re eating. DD has told them what we’re having for dinner and now they’re going on about how much they don’t like what we are eating it’s disgusting blah blah blah. Told them good thing you’re not eating it then and ignored since. I’m looking on Amazon now for some trellis, I’ve found some lovely ones with fake roses but not sure if they will stick to the tops of my fence as it’s a feathered one

[CornishTiger]

Can’t be an HMO with that many occupants or do you mean housing association/social housing. Totally changes which advice is given!

[earthyfire]

I had this problem a few years ago with my then neighbours grandchildren who would come around every day after school and on the weekends. They would climb on a wooden play house to look over the fence and be very rude to my own children who were of a similar age. They'd also ask for lollies etc. The parents/grandparents could see quite clearly what their children were doing but did nothing until I started telling them to get down in case they hurt themselves - thankfully that soon got the parents attention.

[poppy1973]

I would be putting some extra trellis up along that side of the fence on top of the 6ft fence.

Just mention to the neighbours that you are putting some extra trellis on top of the current fence, as your family needs privacy and you don't expect the neighbours children to be climbing any higher on the fence. They should then get the message, that you want to be alone. Other than that, take your children out to the local park when the other family are home, and send your children out when school is in.

It is a bit of a pain, but they will get used to not chatting to you and will eventually get fed up.

[Pleaseleavemealone]

@CornishTiger It started out as an older couple living there and people just keep moving in but no one moves out, I believe it’s a private rent as my other neighbour knows the landlord but that’s not something I want to be involved in and the landlord probably knows anyway. I believe they are refugees/immigrants as the little girl was saying they came from their country to Leeds and then moved here with relatives

[mam0918]

So their parents are there when they are doing this?

I imagine talking to the parents wont work then, any normal parent would be mortified at their kids where begging food of neighbors etc... so if they are witnessing it and not bothered they are probably CF.

Surely a normal parent would address you themselves and ask if your interested in a play date for the kids rather than this.

[Originalyellowbelly]

I would just say "no, go away" with a scary stare. But' I'm a nasty cow and it's not my responsibility to entertain other peoples rude children.

[grapewine]

@Iceybirb

I'd reply in a neutral tone "Its not polite to climb a fence and look into someone else's garden. Please get down and don't do it again".

And repeat each time.

This. Would annoy me. YANBU.