To tell neighbours children to leave me alone

[Pleaseleavemealone]

Live in terraced housing. Next door is a 2 bed hmo with about 4 adults, recently a mum dad and 3 kids have moved in (5, 7 and 9). As the weather is warmer understandably everyone is in their gardens.
Next doors kids just don’t understand privacy. Every single time we go in our garden - whether I am popping out to hang laundry or if my own children (3 and 1) are playing in our paddling pool - next doors kids heads pop over the fence and they just stand there the whole time staring and answering to everything I say to my own kids. For example :
Me to my daughter - “do you want an ice lolly?”
And before my daughter can answer next doors kids say “can I have one?”
Or if I am smoking (no judgment please I am trying to stop!) next doors kids will say “ew are you smoking?” And everything I do they ask me if I’m doing that.
It is getting so annoying and feel that I don’t even want to be in the garden anymore because these kids are just watching and butting into everything I say/do.
Their parents are sat in the garden the whole time and don’t say anything! But I feel it’s not my place to tell someone else’s kids off really and they aren’t being naughty.
The fences aren’t shorter than average, they have dragged something over to stand on just so they can look over my fence.
I will be on the phone (I go in my garden to take calls sometimes as my tv is on/kids are chatting away) and next doors kids will be calling me over the fence to ask me questions or ask where my children are.
Right now I’m sat in my garden after a long day of paddling pool fun, my children are inside having a drink and cool down and the kids are telling me to bring my kids outside ffs

[Beamur]

That would annoy me no end.
Suspect that the kids don't get a lot of adult attention at home though.

[Thehop]

Also “go talk to your mummy now, I’m resting”

[Notgoingonholiday]

I like HumansAreShockings suggestion . Honestly your garden is your sanctuary and you don't have to tolerate this. I would ignore and/or just ask them to not look over your fence..but ignoring works better sometimes, music is a good idea to drown them out. Definitely don't ever offer them anything to eat!

[Oversize]

Cantilever parasol angled so they can't see in.

[socalledfriend]

Set the dogs hose on them!!

[Oversize]

Or just say in a matter of fact voice - please stop looking over my fence, I don't like it. On repeat.

[Mushybananas]

Start doing the same to them! Hang over the fence and ask loads of questions!

[User52739]

Time for a lovely tall trellis and some sturdy plants. I recommend pyrocanthus for full coverage, fast growth and savage thorns.

[MoiraNotRuby]

You can say to the kids 'please climb down, we are trying to have some family time in our garden without neighbours or anyone else thank you '.

[Bibbetybobbity]

Headphones in and totally ignore. Obviously don’t need to be listening to anything if you don’t want to, but will break the cycle and they’ll stop expecting a response from you. In an ideal world you’d have a tiny chat, or the normal pleasantries you might have with any child, and then move on, but they clearly have no boundaries

[LoopTheLoops]

RightYesButNo

They can live with as many people as they want there are no laws, upstairs to me was a family of 5 in a one bed

[HelpfulBelle]

I second a trellis. We had to erect them because the man over the back was always shouting into our garden (limited understanding due to disability). You can get plastic ones with fake leaves that tie onto fences.

[Iceniii]

Had exact same thing. Climbed to top of climbing frame and watch us eating dinner outside. If I had the kitchen door open they would shout for me. We put shrubs along the fence line which grew but they moved out.

Parents would be in the house doing things.

[username0489]

@ThinWomansBrain

I think I'd decide it was time to use a hose to water the plants near the fence whenever they appeared.

I would do this OP. Get a power hose and hose them back into their garden. Keep doing it until they are exhausted.

[Pleaseleavemealone]

@RightYesButNo the parents are sat right there! Under a canopy, listening to loud music

[EvilPea]

I think I’d get some of that trellis b and m have that has fake ivy on it.
I hate it. But it’s quick and just Wack it up. Job done.

[RightYesButNo]

@Pleaseleavemealone Well, maybe check the link I sent, report the HMO for overcrowding, and hope for the best?
In the meantime then, I would go with one of the “Please don’t look into our garden,” or other lines suggested, and as soon as possible, extend the fence height with temporary removable trellis stuff recommended.

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

Do a Mr Twitt and liberally paint along the top with strong superglue and tell them they'll get a better view if they sit on top of the fence rather than just peering over. Then tell them that their parents have a big barrel of their favourite sweets waiting for them inside their house

[Sssloou]

This is difficult because they are clearly neglected, not given any attention, taught boundaries or manners.

V sad really.

I would aim to do it politely and consistently - you won’t do them any favours by pretending to be accommodating or alternatively letting it fester so you end up sounding snippy (I would imagine that the neglectful parents would kick into action at that point).

Just find the right assertive tone rinse and repeat - and/or the trellis solution.

Get implementing now as school holidays are looming.....

[bargelights]

If you have been engaging in conversation with the children, the parents may believe you have no issue with their intrusions. Of course, I think the parents should know that their children shouldn't be staring over the fence at you. But they may assume you have no objection.

So I would tell the children firmly that you don't have time to talk today or that you are having family time or whatever. But you may need to speak directly to the parents too.

[Brindisi32]

YANBU. You want to relax and have privacy in your own garden. Those children are bored and want attention so they're seeking you out. Could you block their view temporarily? Parasol or sheets on a washing line could do the trick? If the parents are listening to loud music, you could tell the children it's rude to stare into other people's gardens and it's rude to keep shouting at you when you're having family time. Or do as the parents do and put your earphones in and ignore them.

It's sad you have to do this but the parents don't seem to recognise that their children gawping and shouting at someone in their own garden isn't going to win them friends.

[Merciess]

That would drive me bonkers.

We had similar before, and I just ignored (harsh as it may seem). It was the only thing that got him to understand.

[RaptorInaPorkPieHat]

Get implementing now as school holidays are looming.....

Yep. Polite but firm

"This is a private garden, please do not climb on stuff to look in, you're being rude"

"Please stop looking in our garden, it is rude"

rinse and repeat and possibly anti climb paint

[omgthepain]

If you rent i would move
If you own consider selling

Sounds a nightmare

[ElephantOfRisk]

First of all tell them to get down because they'll damage the fence. Do it every time. They'll hopefully stop engaging with you when they can't see you (or they grow taller than 6 foot).