Who is BU?

[hdha]

2 people, person A and person B.

Person A is a SAHM. A receives money from parents £200 a month. This goes towards birthdays, wedding, fathers/mothers day, clothes, items for baby. This money is rarely spent on A unless needed.

Person B says that A should give the £200 to B as it's 'fun money'. B says that normal SAHMs put any money they get into family money for it to be shared. A agrees with this, however, A has no access to B's money therefore this means that A would have to ask for money if anything is needed. A wouldn't be comfortable doing this.

Who is BU?

Person A should receive that from person B as a matter of normal.

Get a joint account!

B is financially abusive.

Person B sounds very controlling...

Person B is being unreasonable and financially controlling if they wont give A access to money

@hdha

2 people, person A and person B.

Person A is a SAHM. A receives money from parents £200 a month. This goes towards birthdays, wedding, fathers/mothers day, clothes, items for baby. This money is rarely spent on A unless needed.

Person B says that A should give the £200 to B as it's 'fun money'. B says that normal SAHMs put any money they get into family money for it to be shared. A agrees with this, however, A has no access to B's money therefore this means that A would have to ask for money if anything is needed. A wouldn't be comfortable doing this.

Who is BU?

You are for this child's textbook "A" and "B" stuff

In seriousness is this your situation OP?

As for the scenario, A shouldn't give the money to B. Because presumably B can access the whole pot, or "his" money, any time he likes. A should enjoy the financial independence, however small, that the £200 gives.

Person A should not be giving the money to person B as it is not fun money.

Person B is financially abusive

No one should ask for money - all money dispersed equally

Sounds like B wants their money AND control of yours

If A has no access to B's money, and it is spent on the family etc, then B is being U
Why to A's parents have to subsidise her, not B (assuming that B and A are partners)

Why does A have no access to B's money? Are they married? Does B try to control the finances?

What is B’s disposable income/fun money?

Does B not think A should be a SAHM?

Why use A and B and not just say your husband (hopefully you’re married) is being a git?

A and B should have a joint account with equal access. The extra money could also go in there.

B is financial abusive. Are A&B married? If not I would be getting back to financial independence quick sharp.

Person A will put the £200 in to shared family money that both parties have access to, when B puts all of their money in to shared family money that both parties have access to.

This £200 is small fry though when compared to the fact that A seems to have no access to money except through asking B. (Apart from this £200). This needs resolving far more rapidly than the issue of the £200.

B is being unreasonable but I'm baffled as to why they are being supported by their parents when they are in a relationship and have children.

Sorry, that not clear. I'm baffled by A's set up.

A has no access to B's money as A feels uncomfortable asking. B told A to become a SAHM and B only works 3 days a week but earns decent money. A isn't exactly sure how much but B has bought a Macbook, new TV costing £1300. Money isn't tight.

'What's yours is mine and what's mine's me own,' springs to mind.

No, A should not share this paltry amount and B is financially abusing A.

If B is working and A is a SAHM then why is there no joint access to money?

Why does B control all finances? Why does B not pay for the childcare/housework that (presumably) would cost money to outsource to a nanny and housekeeper if A did not do it for free?

B is abusive. Also - whilst none of my business - it's genuinely not normal to receive a monthly allowance from your parents once you are an adult with children of your own. It suggests that As parents are concerned at how she is being deprived of any financial independence.

B sounds controlling and financially abusive. Why is there no access for A to any money, bar the monthly allowance from parents?? That’s not right at all, and even then, B is trying to claw what A does have away too. Fuck that.
As an aside, I hate all this a & b bollocks.

Given your update - A should tell B to fuck off and pursue him/her for child maintenance.

A would be a lot happier.

This came about because A's parents came and said they assumed the money was going on bills. Meaning they thought A was giving it to B. A assumed they were giving the money to support A because A gets no other money. A sent B the £200 but B is now saying that forget about the money they don't want it.

If not married, and it sounds like they are not, A is in serious deep shit. A needs to get financially independent and quickly.

Why are As parents giving her a monthly allowance when she is in a relationship and has a child . That aside there should be a joint account for all the money and for both parties to have free access to .

A is being ridiculous by not asking for access to money having accepted being told to be a SAHM. The at home parent is covering the cost of childcare by being at home while massively impacting their earnings. This needs to be offset by access to the earned income so that both parties have equal spending money after bills etc. Bills includes children's expenses such as clothes, food,activities etc.