Who is BU?

[hdha]

2 people, person A and person B.

Person A is a SAHM. A receives money from parents £200 a month. This goes towards birthdays, wedding, fathers/mothers day, clothes, items for baby. This money is rarely spent on A unless needed.

Person B says that A should give the £200 to B as it's 'fun money'. B says that normal SAHMs put any money they get into family money for it to be shared. A agrees with this, however, A has no access to B's money therefore this means that A would have to ask for money if anything is needed. A wouldn't be comfortable doing this.

Who is BU?

To everyone rather aggressively demanding to know why her parents are giving her money - mind your own business! If I've got a few hundred quid a month to spare when my kids have their own families, I'd happily do the same.

So B basically pays all the bills ?
This £200 is the only money A has ?
What about child benefits ?
Also if it was agreed that would be Sahm how did B think that A was going to live if no access to money ?
To me both unreasonable to have a child and not discuss finances .
All too common I know someone who has a child went on maternity leave for a year on maternity pay which didn’t cover the bills her dh ( the child’s father ) carried on working with his expensive hobby . After 12 months she got into debt because she didn’t want to ask her dh for money. And it didn’t occur to him that she had no money not sure how or why just no communication.
If you live together have a child together you sort out joint finances . It shouldn’t be awkward or uncomfortable to ask for money .

They are both unreasonable.

B is being financially abusive.

A should never have had a child with someone with whom they don’t feel comfortable enough to talk about having access to money, and certainly not become a stay at home parent when they would not have access to money.

B is financially abusive and A should ask themselves why they value themselves so little that they put up with that.