WIBU to complain about this hospital employee?

[regthetabbycat]

I'm wheelchair bound following a stroke. I can speak normally.

Yesterday I was at outpatients. As we were booking in the receptionist asked my husband if I'd had any Covid symptoms!

He said 'Why don't you ask her?'

I'm still angry. WIBU to lodge a complaint?

Did you present yourself to the receptionist or did DH do the talking when you arrived? If the former, you are not being unreasonable.

Very annoying. They need to have skme training.

I'm with Scarlettpixie on this one. Context is needed.

I’d complain. They should have received training to ensure all patients, including those in wheelchairs, are treated with dignity. Talking about you rather than to you flies in the face of that. It is up there with ‘the broken leg in bed 3’.

If your husband spoke first then she would reply to him, if you spoke first then she’s rude.

As others depends who done the talking

Does seem odd, either you were booking in, and so speaking, or your dh was doing it for you I suppose?
Apart from anything else, surely asking the person themselves (assuming an adult) could uncover more symptoms than asking someone else Eg headache, sore throat (not suggesting they're covid symptoms, just a general point)

As others said it depends who spoke first, but either way surely the best time for you to have challenged it would have been there and then?

Are you upset because they might have assumed that you have difficulty speaking, so asked your husband instead?

My father can't speak anymore, I'm his voice at all appointments (because using the assisted communication device isn't swift for a man in his 80s).

However we still expect him to be addressed directly for all things, I'm only there to help. He's the patient.

I'd give feedback but not lodge a formal complaint. It's shit enough living with disability without being invisible too.

Well it depends. If your husband had started the interaction, then it would make sense that she spoke to him.
If, however, you led the conversation and she then addressed your husband, well that would just be exceptionally weird.

I understand fully your upset, but I do think the context matters. You say "we were booking in" rather than "I was booking in". Did your DH speak initially?

I think your husband’s response was perfect. I’d be annoyed too, if you get the chance to give some feedback then do so. But I would hope the receptionist got the point from your husband’s reply and they would think twice with the next patient.

Regardless of who spoke you address the collective if you were unsure.

‘My wife and I are here to see Doctor Brown’

‘Do either of you have any Covid symptoms?’

Non verbal does not equate non computing. Definitely complain OP, that could be a straw that broke the camel’s back for someone. You’re not a child.

Who was initially speaking to the receptionist, if your dh was booking you in then I can see why she asked him. Instead of a complaint maybe you could just call the o.p manager to tell them what happened and that you felt uncomfortable, maybe an apology is enough sometimes.

Depends really on who spoke at reception, was it your husband saying, Mrs x has arrived? If so then if course they're going to reply to him about you. If he didn't speak, it was you then of course that was rude of the receptionist. Which one is it?

YANBU This used to drive my DM (in a wheelchair) and me mad. Many people assume that if you are in a wheelchair you don't have a voice.

Totally depends on the context -was your DH the one initially interacting with the receptionist? If so then it would not be unreasonable for them to direct any questions to the person who has started the exchange, regardless of whether they are the patient, on the assumption they are the patient's advocate.

If, however you were the one who approached the desk, initiated the conversation with the receptionist and didn't involve your DH at all prior to their question to him then it is unreasonable and inappropriate for the receptionist to direct the question to your DH and not you.

As for complaining, what do you want the outcome of your complaint to be? I think people go for "complaint" too quickly when really it would be more appropriate to leave feedback about what happened and constructive criticism asking for consideration to be made in the future (so in this case for the receptionist to direct questions to the patient unless/until explicitly told otherwise) rather than complaining without knowing what you want to get out of it.

I've never made a complaint in my life but I would say definitely complain. This is so rude and offensive and she obviously needs training in how not to be a dick to people. It's shit that you have to go on this crusade for all wheelchair users but how will things change otherwise?

I would have said my toungue still works.

As for complaining, what do you want the outcome of your complaint to be? I think people go for "complaint" too quickly when really it would be more appropriate to leave feedback about what happened and constructive criticism asking for consideration to be made in the future (so in this case for the receptionist to direct questions to the patient unless/until explicitly told otherwise) rather than complaining without knowing what you want to get out of it.

That's all well and good, but most places don't have a 'constructive criticism' procedure. Additionally, if there is any monitoring of the responsiveness and adequacy of the procedures to monitor and escalate issues, you don't want or need any ambiguity as to whether you've made a complaint or just given 'feedback'.

I agree with others that the context matters. If your husband was doing the talking and checking you in then it's more natural for the person to come back to him with the question. But definitely complain, especially if it was the other way around.

I've never been in a wheelchair but I've had men do this to me because I'm a woman in electronic shops and happen to be standing next to a male friend or boyfriend and it is very irritating.

need to know more about the encounter

did you start the conversation?
did your DH?

Who are you angry with? Your DH or the receptionist?

I don't see anything wrong with your DH's response, although more context would help. Were you booking yourself in yet she addressed her questions to him as though you didn't exist, or was he booking you both in?

I started by trying to deal with the arrival myself but as I have said I'm in a wheelchair and couldn't reach the window to show my appointment letter. The receptionist was aware of this and tutted impatiently when I had to hand it to my husband to show her.