WIBU to complain about this hospital employee?

[regthetabbycat]

I'm wheelchair bound following a stroke. I can speak normally.

Yesterday I was at outpatients. As we were booking in the receptionist asked my husband if I'd had any Covid symptoms!

He said 'Why don't you ask her?'

I'm still angry. WIBU to lodge a complaint?

Absolutely complain. She was being ableist by assuming that because you are in a wheelchair you can't speak for yourself and all the posters asking for "context" are just as bad. Apart from the fact that you have said he didn't speak for you why do they think he might have? Classic "does he/she take sugar" syndrome. NHS employees should know better and it seems to me that the receptionist needs some training.

If you are in the UK see if the hospital uses care opinions. It’s an online feedback that the staff closer to the issue respond to. So not a complaint that gets tied up in the head of service having to deal with and no real outcome but an apology to staff on the ground coming up with a solution.

So one of the examples used in the care opinions training was a NICU in Scotland, the mum and dad left feedback they were so happy with how their baby was cared for but often they would smell of the nurses perfume and not like their baby which upset them (understandably), the matron replied they had introduced a no perfume policy.

Some places use it better than others but in your case it might be that comes in the admin manager on the ground, thinks could we lower that desk, get the request to estates, put training on the next team meeting versus complaint in takes months, results in an apology but nothing changing.

If you couldn’t reach the window, perhaps she couldn’t hear you.

She was being ableist by assuming that because you are in a wheelchair you can't speak for yourself and all the posters asking for "context" are just as bad

Of course the context matters.

There is a difference between the OP approaching the desk to initiate the conversation only to have the receptionist ignore her in favour of exclusively talking to her DH who has taken zero part in the exchange before that and the OPs DH being the one to approach the desk, initiating the conversation and the receptionist asking the "booking in" questions to the person in front of them that they have already been conversing with.

The former is totally unacceptable and is not okay as it is discriminating against a patient with a disability, the latter is understandable and not discriminatory as the behaviour is not based on the patient having a disability - it's no different to the receptionist asking me to confirm my DDs details if I am the one checking her in to a clinic.

@melj1213 So if you walk to a reception desk with your male partner and he talks to the receptionist, you are happy for the receptionist to ask any questions she has about you to your partner?

it's no different to the receptionist asking me to confirm my DDs details if I am the one checking her in to a clinic.

How old is your daughter @melj1213? And do you think there might just be a bit of a difference between a parent checking in a child, and the incident in the OP?

[quote esterwin]@melj1213 So if you walk to a reception desk with your male partner and he talks to the receptionist, you are happy for the receptionist to ask any questions she has about you to your partner?[/quote]
If, for whatever reason, my partner was booking me in for an appointment (as in being the one to actively approach the desk/hand over the appointment letter/initiate the conversation with the receptionist regarding booking me in for my appointment etc) then he would be doing so because I couldn't. Therefore I would have no issue with the receptionist directing questions to him as long as they were general "booking in" questions like "Has she had any covid symptoms?" Or "Has she filled in XYZ form?" Etc

If we went up to the desk together but he was clearly not in any way part of the interaction beyond being present then I would not be happy for questions to be directed to him, but that is because the receptionist would be actively ignoring me to speak to him, as opposed to continuing the conversation they were having with the person who initiated the interaction.

@melj1213 Yes its fine if you can't book yourself in. But using a wheelchair does not mean you are incapable.

As for the person comparing someone using wheelchair to a child!! Yes says it all. Disablism is alive and thriving.

Disablism is alive and thriving.

And getting worse.

@melj1213

She was being ableist by assuming that because you are in a wheelchair you can't speak for yourself and all the posters asking for "context" are just as bad

Of course the context matters.

There is a difference between the OP approaching the desk to initiate the conversation only to have the receptionist ignore her in favour of exclusively talking to her DH who has taken zero part in the exchange before that and the OPs DH being the one to approach the desk, initiating the conversation and the receptionist asking the "booking in" questions to the person in front of them that they have already been conversing with.

The former is totally unacceptable and is not okay as it is discriminating against a patient with a disability, the latter is understandable and not discriminatory as the behaviour is not based on the patient having a disability - it's no different to the receptionist asking me to confirm my DDs details if I am the one checking her in to a clinic.

Why do you think that OP's DH would have approached the desk and initiated conversations regarding OP in the first place though? If you go to a hospital appointment with your DH would you expect him to approach the desk and discuss you details with the receptionist as if you are not there or would you do it yourself? The fact that you think it is similar to confirming your child's details with you says it all. Do you think they would do that if your child was over 18 and able bodied. They certainly wouldn't. OP isn't a child.

Every one of you saying the op shouldn't complain, Get used to it and all the other crap-do you excuse other bigotry in the same way?

If the reception desk isn't fit for purpose then the people working in the reception should be used to coming out to speak to clients who can't access it. The management should be working on changing it.

Both issues should be complained about.

You can see why people with disabilities face so much discrimination when you read the attitudes on here.

My husband is a wheelchair user, and people sometimes speak to me instead of him. It's infuriating. I would complain OP. The more people complain about this sort of discrimination the better. I am sorry this happened to you.

it's no different to the receptionist asking me to confirm my DDs details if I am the one checking her in to a clinic

It is totally different, unless you think it is OK to infantilise disabled people.

Please definitely complain. They should be making adjustments to the desks and other things in hospitals to accommodate disabled people. I’ve seen this so many times in hospital where a wheelchair user comes in and the person behind the desks to the person their with. It’s awful. Staff need better training on dealing with people. It happens where I work in the airport too.

I think you should raise this OP. Behaviour like this needs to be addressed, and the only way to do this is to call it out when it happens. My DH has a hearing impairment, and many years ago when he took our DS to a routine hospital appt he was asked whether he had a social worker! Another time he asked (ie spoke to) a hospital receptionist for directions, and she responded using sign language - er, not all deaf people can sign! She might as well have been speaking Swahili! The common thread here is well meaning but misguided receptionists.

[quote esterwin]@melj1213 So if you walk to a reception desk with your male partner and he talks to the receptionist, you are happy for the receptionist to ask any questions she has about you to your partner?[/quote]
Yes, and it has happened many time... usually I ask him to sort it due to being in pain, the last thing I want is to battle through random questions when Im trying to deal with my condition.

And as I mentioned earlier I look completely able bodied, I have a non visable skeletal issue - they have always address DH if he talks first because thats how the care system and being a carer works.

If you ask someone to check in and deal with things for you that’s very different to it being assumed that someone else will be speaking for you

Yes, and it has happened many time... usually I ask him to sort it due to being in pain, the last thing I want is to battle through random questions when Im trying to deal with my condition.

Do you not get the fact that OP's situation is entirely different? OP didn't ask her DH to speak for her and he didn't speak for her. The receptionist just assumed that because her legs aren't working she is incapable of speaking for herself and that is outrageous.

And as I mentioned earlier I look completely able bodied, I have a non visable skeletal issue - they have always address DH if he talks first because thats how the care system and being a carer works.

No it doesn't. You may want your DH to speak for you but that doesn't mean everyone else who needs physical help does. The receptionist didn't know that he was her carer anyway.