WIBU to complain about this hospital employee?

[regthetabbycat]

I'm wheelchair bound following a stroke. I can speak normally.

Yesterday I was at outpatients. As we were booking in the receptionist asked my husband if I'd had any Covid symptoms!

He said 'Why don't you ask her?'

I'm still angry. WIBU to lodge a complaint?

The more pertinent issue is the lack of a lowered reception desk. Which is a standard requirement in NHS buildings. Not saying they don’t exist but I haven’t seen any for a long time.

I'd be more concerned that a hospital was so badly set up that a patient in a wheelchair could access the reception desk. Surely it should be accessible for all especially in a setting where there are patients of all abilities.

Absolutely complain. The window height, the tutting and the addressing of your DH and not you, are all things that the hospital should be aware of. Get in touch with PALS at the hospital.

I wouldn't bother complaining. Your husband showed her the paper because you weren't able to, the natural reaction would be for the receptionist to speak to him. Your husband then pointed out that she should ask you directly, which presumably she did (you don't mention that but I would think you would have done if she refused to talk directly to you after that).

Maybe complain about the inaccessible reception desk which was the root of the problem.

(As for your point "I'd hope for disabled people to be treated in a politer and more dignified way in future! We are not voiceless and we are not children!" I'm afraid you're on a hiding to nothing hoping patients to be treated with respect in hospitals or GP surgeries, disabled or otherwise. I've not experienced what you did but 90% of the time receptionists are dismissive and patronizing.)

I’d complain about the inaccessible desk as that’s the problem.

I’ve never had to show my letters, I just say my name when I arrive and they ask the questions.

I agree the issue is the accessibility rather than individual receptionist.

I would contact the hospital and point out that the reception desk needs to be adjusted to allow wheelchair users to use it. What if you had arrived alone?

It sounds like you were cross at the receptionist for tutting and are ascribing feelings to her that she may not have felt?

You could also suggest that reception staff have sensitivity training for communicating with wheelchair users, and say how it made you feel. After your h asked her to ask you, did she? And did she talk to you normally?

I work in the NHS but before I was a support worker and this still enrages me today, I took an elderly man who had dementia to the bank so he could withdraw some money to get his weekly shop, when we got to the counter of the bank, my service user signed his name on the bank slip for the amount he needed for the shop, the bank assistant handed me the money rather my service user, I was livid, I crossed my arms and yelled at him that it was (service users) money, he looked indifferent, shrugged and handed it to my service user instead... I know how your husband feels, are people that fucking thoughtless and stupid that they ignore others, do they value them less, because like yourself you are in a wheelchair or like my service user didn't have capacity to be out himself. ignorance and thoughtlessness annoys the hell out of me and they need educated
And yes complain, maybe it will hammer into the suits that run the show that the staff are lacking in common sense

The most frustrating thing in this thread is the amount of people who are saying nothing will change and disabled people basically need to suck it up and get used to being treated like shit.

No they don’t and that’s why people who are in a position where they feel they can need to highlight issues surrounding inaccessible buildings or poor staff attitudes so things can change

I think you are being over sensative, your DH was dealing with it so they addressed him.

I have an invisable disability (so not one Im judged on) and people address my DH often and vice versa, its nothing to do with disability.

If you where talking and he kept cutting you off to defer to your DH that would be either ablism or sexism but not as you have discribed it in your posts.

Most hospitals have dropped desks for wheelchair users, if you are going to complain about anything surely the lack of lowered check in area would make more sense as thats what the actual issue was.

I'm just trying to ascertain the height of this window that you were unable to put the letter through. I'm sitting in a wheelchair right now and if I reach up with my hand, I can reach a height of around 5 foot 5 inches. So the height of the window was higher than the height of the average grown woman? Or am I misunderstanding?

I would expect the employee to speak to the perown who initiated the interaction. If that was you, then they should speak to you. If it was your husband, then I'd expect them to speak to him.

I would lodge a complaint, and ask them to make sure staff are trained to address the patient. This "does he take sugar?" nonsense should have died out by now, and all hospital staff should know better.

Your husband's response was appropriate but if he spoke to her first then I don't see what the issue is. Pick your battles and why complicate life for a lowly paid public servant who replied to the person who addressed her.

For those who think it doesn't matter, google Oliver McGowan. How we understand and respond to the communication needs of people with disabilities is vital.

And it's absolutely something more likely to happen to disabled people. I was once with my dad in the supermarket and he handed across the correct change. The woman at the checkout looked at me and said "ooh, he can count". He was in a wheelchair but he was also a maths teacher. People make assumptions and those assumptions need to be challenged.

YANBU at all op and I'm really surprised that people think you are. There should be an accessible desk and questions about you should be directed to you. Tutting is also not terribly professional either.

@Companion42

YANBU at all op and I'm really surprised that people think you are. There should be an accessible desk and questions about you should be directed to you. Tutting is also not terribly professional either.

I agree, and I believe it worth complaining to get things changed.

Nothing will change unless complaints are made. It's not about getting people into trouble, but about getting the right training in, and also ensure facilities such as reception desks are fit for purpose. If those desks are not meeting the needs of disabled people, they aren't fit for purpose.

My late mother used to end up in tears at times. She was in a wheelchair for her final years, and whenever I took her out, it was inevitable, at least once during the outing, that I'd be the one spoken to, even if Mum spoke first.

I make damn sure I remember my manners and that my kids do as well.

@Eskarina1 That is dreadful!

@Sirzy

The most frustrating thing in this thread is the amount of people who are saying nothing will change and disabled people basically need to suck it up and get used to being treated like shit.

No they don’t and that’s why people who are in a position where they feel they can need to highlight issues surrounding inaccessible buildings or poor staff attitudes so things can change

Exactly this!! I'm absolutely livid at the what OP is expected to put up with, it's shocking and a real sad reflection of society.

OP most people discriminate against disabled peopel and do not think they do. It is rife. I have experienced the, does she take sugar stuff.

It is irrelevant who first spoke to the receptionist. I do not think for a minute that anyone on this thread who is able bodied going to a receptionist with their partner, would expect the receptionist to ask their partner questions about them.
If a woman and her male partner went to a reception desk and the receptionist asked the male partner questions about his female partner when she was there, there would be outrage. The feminism board would explode. But because you are disabled, lots think it is okay.

Yes it is common. No that does not make it right. Complain. Please complain. It is not okay.
And I see loads of times money being spent to make lower reception desks, and then staff piling that desk space up with stuff so it is unusable. The issue here is about training. A receptionist of all people should not be doing this.

People who use wheelchairs work, raise children and many are as capable as everyone else. It is rare for people who use wheelchairs not to be able to communicate and make their wishes known.
But discriminating against the disabled does seem to be semi-acceptable and gets little attention, even in employer diversity training.

@Sirzy

Being in a wheelchair shouldn’t prevent someone from checking themselves into an appointment.

If hospitals can’t be accessible then we really are fucked aren’t we.

When DS was born (bearing in mind DW was told by one doctor to get an abortion as disabled people shouldn't be mothers) there were no accessible bathroom facilities in the Birmingham Womens Hospital. I had to wash her down myself.

When they built the new QE 10 years later, the managed to make the corridors impassable for wheelchairs in places.

I really, really, really would never rely on "you'd have thought they would have ..." when it come to disabled access. I could write a book.

Bottom line is if you are in a wheelchair you're going to have a shit life.

I think the responses on this thread show the difference between people who have either been in a wheelchair or know someone who has, and the people who have been fortunate enough to have never experienced that side of life.

You could complain but you'd be wasting your time.

no, please complain op.
the receptionist needs training and they absolutely need to lower the desk

Has a no context required.They should be speaking to you regardless of how you present.