Leaving London - is there a promised land?

[ilkleymoorbartat]

With the mass exodus from London at the moment, aibu to ask whether there is some promised land that people go when they have kids (whatever the location).

Ie, are those of us in London missing out on a life that is lovely and idyllic which if you're in the London bubble it's impossible to imagine?

Do we have Stockholm syndrome basically?!

My mates who have stayed in London have moved up the property ladder as their wages have increased - moved from flat to terraced house to detached house or put in a loft conversion. They have been able to afford the space they needed as their families expanded.

Others have moved primarily for space, good primary and secondary schools. My strong advice would be move before they start school - find a town/ village, scrutinise the admission criteria, find a nice house.

We live in a Berkshire village, 5 mins from crossrail and I love it. Best thing we did

York: best of all worlds. The hub of the North and train service connections to London are very regular, quick and reliable.

Grew up in London, all my friends lived there after uni. Over time only one has remained there. London is great, but once you leave you realize there is a lot more to life that good public transport and the cachet of being in the capital. Even as a twenty something I used to look at older people commuting on the tube and tell myself I did not want to be them.

@CallMeCleo it's not Hitchin is it? Even heard it mentioned on Radio 4.

Friend met a couple who moved from london to a beautiful sounding place (Brambles farm) didnt check it out first just went by estate agents recommendation. It's not how it sounds, it's very run down, how should I say this shithole. So do your homework

If you can afford go for harrogate

London has always had a bad rap by most of UK. It has good and bad. But is an amazing city. Embraces so many cultures, usually well. Has for centuries. Not perfect at all, but has a unique energy of its own.

Swings and roundabouts obviously. Our last neighbour moved from Harrow, seduced by TV programmes and anecdotes of friends. She hated every minute and made sure everyone knew it. Very disparaging about us country people and our lifestyles. “ Sadly” she eventually moved back to London after selling her house to a young couple —from London - who loved it and settled in very well. Just do the homework first. There is a lot of rural poverty, poor or non existent public transport, lack of shops and facilities etc. Rural crime, drugs etc maybe not so obvious but it happens. The halcyon days of never locking your doors, knowing all your neighbours, lively communities are long gone in many areas. We moved here when there was a pub, Post Office, Village Stores, and a two hourly bus to local towns All we have now is the pub which few locals use. Would I move? No! But my sons moved - one to London, one to Asia- and in no rush at all to move back.

Moved to London in my late teens for my professional training & lived there 27 years marrying & raising a son. I moved back to my home town and it’s beautiful I live in a lovely Victorian house within easy reach of the motorway so easy to see friends & family in London. Also London isn’t the only place with good transport we live less than 5 minutes walk from the train station with links to all major rail lines with a punctual frequent service that is much cheaper than the local bus fares. Our quality of life has increased a thousand fold and we are not missing out on anything because having lived in London when we’re there we know how to make the most of it.

So that all seems lovely but for me that town has very limited appeal. I had a lovely week but really couldn’t see what would entertain me beyond that time.

Agree with this. I’ve visited a number of southern towns outside of London that are perfectly nice, but after a long weekend I’m bored stiff and looking forward to getting back to London, where things to do are endless.

I’d say Brighton is the only exception to that rule.

London has always had a bad rap by most of UK. It has good and bad. But is an amazing city. Embraces so many cultures, usually well.

That’s the other thing - London is so diverse. Many places in the UK are the opposite and I find that incredibly stifling.

London is great, but once you leave you realize there is a lot more to life that good public transport and the cachet of being in the capital.

If those were your two main reasons for being in London then yes, it’s probably not for you.

I’m a London girl and moved to leafy Surrey many many moons ago. I have an enormous garden with deer, pheasants, the lot, running around. I’m 3 miles from the station which is 40 mins into London. It is without question utterly beautiful, but it is so so so dull. There is NOTHING to do and I’ve calcified. I’m selling up and am off to Brighton (pure skank I know, but at least there’s the thrum of LIFE).

Surrey would be my worst nightmare but Brighton is fabulous. Enjoy!

@Puffykins interesting that you’re moving to Hastings. We’re also considering it as we’ve been priced out of London, but it’s a place that always gets slated on MN (completely unfairly in my opinion!)

I also don’t recognize the comments on this thread about unfriendly neighbours in London. Of all the places I’ve lived, my neighbours in London are hands down the most chatty and friendly that I’ve had.

I have loved London and enjoyed my late teens, twenties, thirties, forties and early fifties there. Great place. I will never be negative about it. I had a whale of a time there.
Bit I’ve moved to Hampshire and live in a lively, expensive and popular market town that many do commute to London from. (Not me I hasten to add).

It’s very very different and lovely with so very many plus points. I love it here but somehow I still miss London and what I know and almost my “security blanket” of familiarity. Many of my friends had moved out of London years ago to varying places so it’s not as if I completely miss my London friends. It’s just very different and the good points are without doubt very strong. But there is an easy ness to London. Especially transport and I drive. The wealth it has to offer and the interconnect ness of it all.

In my late fifties I know that I will adapt and that it was always my plan and actually my life is much better here, but I tangibly miss what I know and I know London and not here. Sometimes however beautiful the countryside is I still feel as though I am visiting on a day out but I’m not.

I think to make the move younger one has to be very sure that the move is right as going back is hard in terms of property values.

So yes it’s great, it’s different, it’s cheaper but sometimes only just, it has pluses it has minuses it depends where you are in your life. But for sure public transport is bloody different!

We moved to Surrey - only 25 min fast train in to London 8 years ago it was the best move we've made, lovely areas, great schools and a house (required a lot of work!) with a lovely big garden that the children love. Definitely worth it.

Northumberland

Stunning countryside, best beaches in the country, friendliest people anywhere, very low crime, property prices and population. Keeps getting voted the best place to live and you've got Newcastle on the doorstep.

Yes, OP, there is. It's called Wales. We moved here a few weeks ago and it's heaven. We wake up every morning feeling utterly blessed. My advice is don't hesitate. We thought about it for many years and wished we'd done it sooner.

@friendlycat

I have loved London and enjoyed my late teens, twenties, thirties, forties and early fifties there. Great place. I will never be negative about it. I had a whale of a time there. Bit I’ve moved to Hampshire and live in a lively, expensive and popular market town that many do commute to London from. (Not me I hasten to add).

It’s very very different and lovely with so very many plus points. I love it here but somehow I still miss London and what I know and almost my “security blanket” of familiarity. Many of my friends had moved out of London years ago to varying places so it’s not as if I completely miss my London friends. It’s just very different and the good points are without doubt very strong. But there is an easy ness to London. Especially transport and I drive. The wealth it has to offer and the interconnect ness of it all.

In my late fifties I know that I will adapt and that it was always my plan and actually my life is much better here, but I tangibly miss what I know and I know London and not here. Sometimes however beautiful the countryside is I still feel as though I am visiting on a day out but I’m not.

I think to make the move younger one has to be very sure that the move is right as going back is hard in terms of property values.

So yes it’s great, it’s different, it’s cheaper but sometimes only just, it has pluses it has minuses it depends where you are in your life. But for sure public transport is bloody different!

Which is why my 88 year old neighbours who moved to London 68 years ago always say they would never leave. They have family elsewhere but it is the variety of what is in offer they have enjoyed and continue to enjoy . I'm sure it all the activities and interests keeps them going.

That’s the other thing - London is so diverse. Many places in the UK are the opposite and I find that incredibly stifling.

Overall London is diverse but it's still very concentrated in certain areas & socio economic diversity is very borough dependent. Wandsworth has a very different diversity to Brent for example.

People leave London when they have families because they can’t afford a family house in London.

For me there was a promised land, I loved London but I enjoy my life outside of London far more, I feel day-to-day my quality of life is much better.

We moved from zone 2 to Surrey six years ago. Every single word that @friendlycat said.

We are only about 11/12 miles from our old home, we have a lovely house in a lovely garden for half the price of the old one. The area is lovely and so very green. But how I miss the bustle and lights reflecting in puddles on dark, wet nights, of being two bus stops from the Kings Road, and just wandering from our road to the High Street and chatting to people I'd known since the dc were babies.

Pluses and minuses. We had sound reasons for making the move and can be at our old haunts in 25 minutes (traffic permitting). DH wanted the sprawling house and lawns.

We couldn't afford the size of house we want in this area, and decided that if we were going to move to zone 6 we might as well move to the coast

This is how I think, I definitely have a yearning to be beside the sea. Heat in London is disgusting.

I think often white people see non-white folk and think fantastic, here's our diversity, but it's how we, as non-white people, feel best integrated- and for me it definitely wasn't in London.

That's an excellent point.

@Puffykins that's the London I love. I can walk to work so can DH. The schools are around the corner. I can walk to the high street, the night life, the swimming pool etc. I love the spontaneity of it.

The idea of having to get in my car for everything doesn't really appeal.