Leaving London - is there a promised land?

[ilkleymoorbartat]

With the mass exodus from London at the moment, aibu to ask whether there is some promised land that people go when they have kids (whatever the location).

Ie, are those of us in London missing out on a life that is lovely and idyllic which if you're in the London bubble it's impossible to imagine?

Do we have Stockholm syndrome basically?!

tealightsandd
Don't believe you.
I bet at least half of those 'incomers' are not Londoners.

4 in last 6 months in cul- de- sac near me, we villagers think its due to HS2, all that will happen is they will get south 20 mins quicke.r

Please don't come here.

Ah those lovely warm locals, with their insularity (that they want to work only one way, because of course it was ok for them to move to London).

You don't own your town or village.
People from where you live have been coming to London for years.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

People say they want 'levelling up' and London's 'investment', then moan when they get it

Nowhere has a housing crisis worse than London (two thirds of all UK homeless families are in London). So for all the cries about house prices from the 'friendly' locals elsewhere, I suspect there's more than a slight whiff of racism behind the 'you're not welcome' posts. Bearing in mind London's diverse ethnic makeup.

Also the pricing out really isn’t about Londoners/non-Londoners it also involves people who weren’t British born 😂

@Barney60

tealightsandd Don't believe you. I bet at least half of those 'incomers' are not Londoners.

4 in last 6 months in cul- de- sac near me, we villagers think its due to HS2, all that will happen is they will get south 20 mins quicke.r

You saw their birth certificates?

I bet at least half are originally from other parts of the UK.

Norfolk. 3 terraced houses been built next to use. All sold before had even been physically built. All smaller than us, with smaller garden. Cheapest was £515k. One of the others has a stunning view of the side of our garage wall (we are raised) and our oil tank. Silly money. But because they are brick and flint in Norfolk, they've been snapped up. We can't take advantage by selling up and moving to a similar sized property with, say, an extra bedroom because ours is ex-police house so the exterior is aesthetically nowhere near as nice. Whilst it will have increased in value, not enough for us to get even something the same in our area, let alone bigger. And the amount the bank would lend is pitiful compared to what we would need.

Only way this ends well for us is if we do a proper relocation and find new jobs and new schools for the kiddies. For now, we have to just sit tight.

Locals definitely being priced out. Heard of affordable housing locally being put up for rent (part of deal of allowing them to be built) at over £1200 per month for small 2 bed semi. Then when/if they can say "but anyone's interested in renting them," they can apparently be sold off. And it won't be locals affording them!

David Cameron, for example.
Moved from London to Oxfordshire.
He wasn't a Londoner moving there. He was actually a local returning home.

Dominic Cummings. Currently lives in London. But originally from County Durham.

The Blairs. Moved from London to Buckinghamshire. Neither are Londoners.

Jeremy Corbyn. Moved from Dorset to London (pricing out a Londoner). If he moves out, it will be a case of someone from Dorset moving somewhere else.

George Osborne, yes, he is a Londoner. But he is the exception rather than the rule.

I'm hoping and praying nobody recommends my town. We've been inundated with Londoners moving here and it's changing the town.

It's the breathtaking hypocrisy and complete lack of self awareness.

For decades, priced out Londoners have been told to suck it up.

Yet - here we are. A tiny little taste of the much resented London 'investment' and we get screaming tantrums.

'Locals' complaining they can't afford to buy the house they wanted, citing their want to stay close to family etc. Yet there was no sympathy for low income homeless London families and disabled individuals who were rehoused forcibly by London boroughs across the country, very far away from their families, schools, friends, and support networks.

When Gordon Brown cut housing benefit so vulnerable Londoners couldn't afford to stay near support networks, people were in favour, saying those vulnerable Londoners shouldn't expect to stay in an expensive area (expensive only because 'locals' from other places moved there). But apparently it's so terribly wrong if locals outside of London can't afford to buy in the area they're from?

It doesn't work just one way.

No one is more special than anyone else. Nobody has more right than anybody else to stay in the area they're born in.

Traffic can't be just one way.
No double standards.

I love London with all my heart. We're in Notting Hill, my school run is walking along the canal to Little Venice, I love the galleries, the theatre, the aliveness and bustle. I swim in the Serpentine in Hyde Park all year round, I walk to work across the park, we have a huge communal garden, and if it was up to me we would never leave. However we are; we're moving to Hastings in 3 weeks. Because we all live in a two bedroom flat and we have run out of space and the children are only going to get bigger. We couldn't afford the size of house we want in this area, and decided that if we were going to move to zone 6 we might as well move to the coast - and to a house 10 minutes walk from the beach, contemporary art galleries, where I can still walk the children to school etc. - and walk to a station and be back in London within 75 minutes.

[quote LateAtTate]@WelcometoJam ‘people like us couldn’t live anywhere else’ ? How small minded... I say this as a brown person who came here for uni.
Somewhat counterintuitively a place being cultural melting pot doesn’t mean anything. When I went to uni in London loads of people got away with clumping with their own nationality. In fact when I graduated and started work there was still a large number of people who only knew people of other nationalities through work. Outside of work they only spent time with people from their own country.
Meanwhile in my Northern city there isn’t this cliquishness. And my boyfriend’s family (all from a rural village) have been extremely welcoming. I’ve never felt out of place.
Not living in a cosmopolitan city doesn’t make people close minded. And as an aside so much contempt from foreigners for places that have ‘too many British families’...why come to the U.K in the first place if you have no care for its people or culture at all?!?[/quote]
I have found this too, and a much greater 'otherness' in London than smaller, more rural places. Leeds was my absolute favourite, so vibrant but less affluence and snobbery, a more communal feel. I think often white people see non-white folk and think fantastic, here's our diversity, but it's how we, as non-white people, feel best integrated- and for me it definitely wasn't in London.

I’m a London girl and moved to leafy Surrey many many moons ago. I have an enormous garden with deer, pheasants, the lot, running around. I’m 3 miles from the station which is 40 mins into London. It is without question utterly beautiful, but it is so so so dull. There is NOTHING to do and I’ve calcified. I’m selling up and am off to Brighton (pure skank I know, but at least there’s the thrum of LIFE). And honestly the drugs problem with teens that a lot of you are trying to avoid is rife everywhere. I live amongst high 6 figure earners, pure privilege. You’re all kidding yourselves if you think you’ll save your teens from the perils.

We couldn't afford the size of house we want in this area, and decided that if we were going to move to zone 6 we might as well move to the coast

Why not move to zone 6 and still have virtually everything you have now?

tealightsandd

Whats birth certificates got to do with anything?

i was born in Yorkshire , ive not lived there for 50 years, if i move from here, doesnt mean im a Yorkshire lass, just i was born there but come from ?
Man around corner but lives next door , back garden sides onto me, from Fulham, didnt see birth certificate, he told me, couldnt afford to buy there, had friends here bought here when HS2 running he will commute. totally immaterial where he was born hes moved from London!

babbaloushka's experience just goes to
show how drastically one person's experience can vary from others. I've seen posts on MN in the past complaining about snobbery in Leeds (as well as other posts singing its praises). So varied. It's also the case that lots of people find nowhere more tolerant and welcoming than London.

Anedotes are great because they show the rich diversity of individual experiences.

We moved from nw London 2 years ago with our preschooler and moved to near Bournemouth, 10 min walk from the beach. Best thing we have done, the quality of life here as a family is so much better in every way, don't miss London one bit.

@Bythemillpond because we'll have the sea in Hastings! And because I wouldn't have everything that I have now if I moved to zone 6..... I love Notting Hill for the fact that I can walk everywhere I need to go. Walking into Mayfair from Zone 6 would take a bit longer. And I couldn't have a quick swim in the Serpentine on the way. I'm sure that Zone 6 is lovely what it does have, but if I was going to leave what I have now then I would like the sea in exchange.

London is not just for the youngsters.

We have at least 9 individuals who in their 90s live on our road .
My own neighbours are 88.
Both very active and before the pandemic enjoyed the variety of theatre, exhibitions galleries, restaurants on offer. They had a more active social life than me.

So not everyone leaves and it is not all about those in their 20s.

I lived in a beautiful part of London for twenty years, very happy there. But I had a big family in a very small flat, not enough space, always tidying and worrying about storage etc. We bought a 4 bedroom house with a gorgeous garden for less than our two bedroom (no garden, no parking). I wasn’t sure I’d be happy but I wouldn’t go back to live there again after enjoying the space and nicer pace of life. I didn’t go too far though and often go back for all the good stuff!

Well Barney it seems to be another example of the double standards in action.

So when people want to slag off London, they have tantrums about 'Londoners' moving to another area (yet don't mind the other way round, pricing out Londoners).

At the same time they get to keep their regional identity but don't seem to want Londoners to have the same.

If a London born man moved to Yorkshire or Cornwall, would he be considered a Yorkshireman or Cornish by his new neighbours? If he moved again, maybe to Manchester, would the Cornish or Yorkshire people see it as one of their own moving to Manchester? The answer, for many, is no.

As for people moving from London to where you are. Well you've said it yourself. He couldn't afford to stay in London... so priced out by other people moving from where you are and elsewhere to London.

People need to accept it's a two way traffic system.

@Cosmos123

London is not just for the youngsters.

We have at least 9 individuals who in their 90s live on our road .
My own neighbours are 88.
Both very active and before the pandemic enjoyed the variety of theatre, exhibitions galleries, restaurants on offer. They had a more active social life than me.

So not everyone leaves and it is not all about those in their 20s.

The problem is a lot of people from outside London (who complain if a Londoner moves to where they live) do think it's for the young only.

Of course they're wrong, but it's all part of the have your cake and eat it attitude. They want to be able to come to London without a thought for the London families they price out. When they've had their fill, they move out again - sometimes back home, sometimes elsewhere. But at the same time they don't want Londoners (priced out or by choice) coming to their home areas.

No one owns the city, town, village, or hamlet they live in.

Some people move to London. Others move away.

People cannot expect one way traffic.

Tealightsandd I moved from the North to London. Then moved from London to South Midlands area and was called a Southern Bastard.
A bit shocked that my accent didn’t seem to give a clue as to where I originated from.

@SherbrookeFosterer

I still love London.

When I retire I'm moving to Soho!

You are me! I want to retire from north London to either Soho or somewhere on the bank of the Thames.

Absolutely. Will settle for Covent garden.
What joy

Just to clarify.

My posts aren't about the majority of people who move to London from elsewhere. Most fit right into the melting pot and become as much part of the local communities as anyone else. It's about the hypocritical minority.

I'm willing to bet if George Osborne or Sadiq Khan moved to Cornwall or Yorkshire, most (or at least a sizeable proportion) of born and bred locals wouldn't see them as Cornish or Yorkshiremen. They'd view them as Londoners who'd moved to Cornwall or Yorkshire. That same reasoning has to work both ways. If a Yorkshireman or Cornish man moves to London but then onto somewhere else, it's not a Londoner moving on - it's a Yorkshireman or Cornish man moving again.

@Bythemillpond

Tealightsandd I moved from the North to London. Then moved from London to South Midlands area and was called a Southern Bastard. A bit shocked that my accent didn’t seem to give a clue as to where I originated from.

It's a shame some people (wherever they live) feel the need to be so unpleasant and insular.

Luckily it seems to be a minority?