Would this comment annoy you?

[NotAnotherMistake]

Fully prepared for the truth. Not to drip feed. I work in a school. Get on well with a woman, share same lunches and talk about our kids, known each other 3 years.
Class year 4 there’s a child who is 5’ 2”, woman on them is same height, I hadn’t seen child for a while and I said to her “oh (child) is as tall as you, isn’t that a little embarrassing “

I immediately regretted, we do banter sometimes but not much... she replied “no, I’m just small”

I went to her after work and said I was really sorry for what I said that I didn’t mean to take the piss, I don’t know why I said it, i wasn’t thinking

Her reply was “you were rude, you an adult , I expect that sort of comment form a 10 year old. I said I was really sorry again, she repeated what she said.
I fell so stupid, I’m just a happy person and I like people to smile and i do just get carried away FWIW I’m not 10 I am almost 50!!!

Would this piss you off?

*the in thing! Need to read what I've written before I hit post!

It would have been fine until you said - isn't that embarrassing!
I mean surely you know how shit that was of you to say! If she's quite hung up on being shorter, that could have really upset her. I absolutely don't blame her for the response you got, she's 💯 correct. Something I'd expect from a child.

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Oh dear.

You were rude.

And now you are objecting to her telling you so.

Tough.

You were thoughtless, tactless, rude and, on being told you were rude seem to think the object of your lack of care should somehow absolve you if your misstep.

Again, tough.

Now leave her alone, don't try to apologise again, you know how she feels, your apology was not enough to make up for the embarrassment and annoyance caused.

Yet again, tough.

Deal with it, your were rude, no matter how you see yourself!

im guessing if the op had upset you with this episode she had ,nothing would be good enough until she was on her knees grovelling humbly whilst begging you to please please please forgive her whist offering her blood at the same time . and only that after she had left you alone for at least 6 months . i think id take the ops accidental rudeness over your deliberate rudeness if i had a choice

You apologised though, so that should be the end of it. It was a verbal slip up - we all make them.
I made a joke about running out of potatoes once to an Irish colleague and she got really offended. I had to go and apologise....just wasn’t thinking!

@NotAnotherMistake it was a silly comment that you said without thinking. We all do it. You’ve apologised. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m sure she just thought oh a bit weird but hasn’t given it another thought. It’s really not that big a deal

No chaos she apologised. That's what she thought was appropriate.

The other woman chose not to accept her apology. That's what she thought was appropriate.

There's nothing more to it!

All talk of grovelling etc is ludicrous hyperbole.

Oh OP please don’t beat yourself up...we all put our foot in our mouths sometimes. You apologised, she told you how she felt and now move on. I understand the urge to come out with ‘hilarious’ things sometimes where the context or
tone is just off.

Yes I would be annoyed, that was a very rude and hurtful comment you made.

Yes you were rude, but you’ve acknowledged that and apologised. It’s up to her if she’s prepared to accept your apology, though. She doesn’t have to, though.

It does sound as if you’ve learned an important lesson, though.

I wouldn’t be upset by your comment - I might just think you were a bit odd! I would be impressed by your apology and just let it go. Don’t waste any energy on this

@MerryDecembermas

She didn't need to be so horrible back, after all you could have just carried on and brazened it out rather than apologise as plenty of people do when they say regrettable things. I guess from her POV your apology indicated you were open to discussing it.

That’s not being horrid back, it’s explaining how OP made her feel.

I have heard that so many times from my children it would no longer bother me at all.

So rude and why is it embarrassing to be 5 2" anyway? I'm that height and I can't help it. Hope you don't mock the kids in your care for their shortcomings, no pun intended.

YeH, I'm 5"1 and that would have pissed me off too.

Commenting about the child's height in comparison isn't so bad but saying that it's embarrassing is really, really rude.

@NotAnotherMistake I think it was a tiny bit rude, but then you did say sorry. If someone had said something rude to me, and then had come to say sorry, I would actually have been chuffed that they had said sorry.

I think her reaction is OTT.

YANBU.

I'm not in the least bit bothered by my (lack of) height.
But saying its embarrassing? How rude. I'd be pissed off. Hardly embarrassing, and not a lot I can do about the fact my DC are both taller than me.

The suggestion that it’s ‘embarrassing’ to be short made your comment even worse!

OP it was a silly thing to say but you are human and we all say silly things at times. I think she could have been more gracious about your apology. It sounded like she was a bit condescending.

You accidentally offended her, you apologised she wasn’t very gracious I’d say you’re even. It’s such a minor thing I wouldn’t Catastrophise it.

Here’s the thing about the apology: I would accept that you’re sorry for what you said and that you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. But saying it was embarrassing says something about you, OP. It says you think it’s embarrassing to be short, something that no one can change about themselves. You think that an immutable characteristic is embarrassing.

So I would accept your apology but give you a wide berth in future as now I know how you think, I would wonder what else you judge me for.

I think it was just a joke. I don't believe it means you really think it's embarrassing to be that height.

I'm just under 5 foot 1. Wouldn't bother me one but. she is overreacting

@UserX

Here’s the thing about the apology: I would accept that you’re sorry for what you said and that you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. But saying it was embarrassing says something about you, OP. It says you think it’s embarrassing to be short, something that no one can change about themselves. You think that an immutable characteristic is embarrassing.

So I would accept your apology but give you a wide berth in future as now I know how you think, I would wonder what else you judge me for.

I kind of agree At least it would make me more wary of you and think of you differently

I'm 5 ft 1. I don't think I could be bothered to be upset about this, especially if comment was made by someone I usually get on with who then apologized I think she over reacted.

@CuriousaboutSamphire

No chaos she apologised. That's what she thought was appropriate.

The other woman chose not to accept her apology. That's what she thought was appropriate.

There's nothing more to it!

All talk of grovelling etc is ludicrous hyperbole.

ye and then its people that refuse to accept aplogies that then make a really shit uncomfortable atmosphere for everyone that works around or with them and the offending person because they are holding on to their little grudge forever and a day , as i said it wouldnt bother me as i wouldnt give a tosser that carried on like it the time of day , but if your not that thick skinned its then a problem that you are having to work with everyday , but with you would seem to be cool wtih that