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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Fuming about face mask

157 replies

yan79 · 08/06/2021 17:33

Hi,
I don’t know if I’m just being a little sensitive but my 13 yo son returned to school on Monday after half term and has received a 1 hour after school detention for forgetting his face mask. I’m livid! It seems quite a punishment for something that isn’t a bad behaviour or intentional. Gosh, I forget my mask on a weekly basis and have to go back to the car to fetch it etc.
They don’t have to wear a mask in class (only on the corridors) he’s only ever forgotten his mask once since we started wearing them (he was in school the entire lockdown as I’m a NHS worker)
and school have a box of Masks for students that do forget them so he did wear one that day. It wasn’t even the teacher who gave out the detention, it was student services where he went when he realised he’d forgotten his mask and they provided him with one.
He’s a good lad and never really causes any commotion or trouble but he’s quite angry about this detention too. I’m tempted to call school and speak to somebody but I don’t know if I’m just being a little OTT and he deserves the detention and we should just ‘suck it up’

OP posts:
Taciturn · 08/06/2021 17:35

I thought the face mask restriction had been lifted in schools?

Flowerlane · 08/06/2021 17:39

Personally agree I wouldn’t be happy with that and would phone the school.
It’s a tad harsh especially as full grown adults forget, can’t count how many times I have had to do the return trip to the car to collect face maskGrin

TotorosCatBus · 08/06/2021 17:39

My ds forgot his and got a "forgotten equipment" stamp in his planner which is plenty for a first time offence imo.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 08/06/2021 17:40

There is no requirement to wear masks in school now as far as I'm aware. Well mine don't have to unless they want to. Are You in the UK?

TotorosCatBus · 08/06/2021 17:40

Our school has gone back to masks in corridors and communal areas too.
The masks in schools guidance was never law.

LadyCatStark · 08/06/2021 17:41

@ZeroFuchsGiven

There is no requirement to wear masks in school now as far as I'm aware. Well mine don't have to unless they want to. Are You in the UK?
There is in Lancashire 🤬.
Mrgrinch · 08/06/2021 17:41

I think it's excessive. I'd be telling them he's not attending the detention.

TotorosCatBus · 08/06/2021 17:42

Yanbu to think it's harsh btw. Did he do his detention without a mask by any chance? Hmm

ineedaholidaynow · 08/06/2021 17:44

They still have to wear them in corridors and communal areas as far as I am aware. And schools can have their own risk assessments, so many schools have maintained masks in classrooms too

GintyMcGinty · 08/06/2021 17:44

Face masks aren't enforceable in schools
and
most schools just hand out replacements

lanthanum · 08/06/2021 17:44

It seems a bit much for a first offence - and if they go to student services to collect one it wouldn't be hard for them to keep a record so sanctions can be applied the second or third time. Paying for the mask would be more to the point, of course!

PegPeople · 08/06/2021 17:45

So he forgot a mask and sensibly went to student services to get one so he could follow the rules and he was rewarded with a detention.

Surely having a chat would have been all the 'punishment' required. Poor lad being penalised so harshly for a bloody mistake. Sad

SuperSecretSquirrels · 08/06/2021 17:46

That seems excessive. And counterproductive because if anyone has forgotten one they will just try to sneak around without one to avoid the detention, rather than getting a replacement.

Merchymor · 08/06/2021 17:46

They've ditched masks altogether in our school thank god, the school in your case is being unfair and overly harsh.

notacooldad · 08/06/2021 17:49

I think it's excessive. I'd be telling them he's not attending the detention
I think it is harsh but I wouldn't undermine the school.
Some things in life are unfair.

MustardRose · 08/06/2021 17:49

I despair of schools sometimes.

The admin staff always seem to come down like a ton of bricks on the wrong kids.

TempsPerdu · 08/06/2021 17:52

If the situation is exactly as you state the school’s response sounds ridiculously excessive, and I’d be contacting them to tell them so.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to return home to fetch a mask that I’d left behind. I don’t see why school pupils should be expected to be infallible in this department and your DS’s punishment does sound needlessly harsh. Not specific to masks either - I’d say the same if it was a forgotten pencil case or whatever. Dislike the general trend towards draconian zero tolerance policies for these everyday tiny errors and infringements - seems to be a big thing in academies and free schools in particular.

wasthataburp · 08/06/2021 17:59

I wouldn't be happy about that at all. You should definitely refuse to allow him to do the detention. Also I wouldn't be allowing my 13 year old to even be wearing a mask.

Original poster
yan79 · 08/06/2021 18:00

Yes, we’re in Derbyshire.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 08/06/2021 18:00

@MustardRose

I despair of schools sometimes.

The admin staff always seem to come down like a ton of bricks on the wrong kids.

I agree with that. These kids are soft targets.

I'm afraid I would be informing the school admin that I considered their actions very OTT and that he would not be attending the detention.

The poor lad did nothing wrong. He made a mistake, as anyone can (including the admin staff, believe it or not), took action to rectify it and was rewarded with a detention. No! Wrong decision by the admin member.

memberofthewedding · 08/06/2021 18:03

When I was a child in school I had to come straight home to let my young sister in, because my mother worked. One day I got a detention and I had the choice of ignoring the detention or getting a whalloping from my father for not being there to let my sister in. I chose to ignore the detention.

My mother wrote to the school to explain the circumstances and stating that she did not give her permission for me to do detention - ever!.

Its time parents took a harder line with some of these schools with their little tin pot Hitlers.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 08/06/2021 18:04

Am I the only one who'd shrug and tell him not to forget it again if he doesn't want another detention? 😂 I certainly wouldn't be phoning the school over it but it looks like I'm in the minority

SmellThis · 08/06/2021 18:06

I don't agree with the detention but he is 13, this has been in force for ages.
He won't forget again
Support the school

Original poster
yan79 · 08/06/2021 18:06

I was tempted to say he wouldn’t be attending but I didn’t know if he would get punished for that also.
I agree with it being draconian, my mum said exactly the same.
To add to it, the morning he went without his mask we’d found out a close friend had taken his own life so we were a little bit all over the place.
Over the weekend I’d taken the mask out of my sons coat pocket to wash. He’d gone to school on Monday without his coat as it was warm so his mask would usually be in his pocket. It was a genuine mistake but the more I think about the whole situation the more angry I’m getting

OP posts:
jellybeansforbreakfast · 08/06/2021 18:06

Wait! So he realised he had forgotten and did the sensible thing?

It wasn’t even the teacher who gave out the detention, it was student services where he went when he realised he’d forgotten his mask and they provided him with one.

Definitely contact the school. This sort of weird shit will only make kids stop engaging.