AIBU Fuming about face mask

[yan79]

Hi,
I don’t know if I’m just being a little sensitive but my 13 yo son returned to school on Monday after half term and has received a 1 hour after school detention for forgetting his face mask. I’m livid! It seems quite a punishment for something that isn’t a bad behaviour or intentional. Gosh, I forget my mask on a weekly basis and have to go back to the car to fetch it etc.
They don’t have to wear a mask in class (only on the corridors) he’s only ever forgotten his mask once since we started wearing them (he was in school the entire lockdown as I’m a NHS worker)
and school have a box of Masks for students that do forget them so he did wear one that day. It wasn’t even the teacher who gave out the detention, it was student services where he went when he realised he’d forgotten his mask and they provided him with one.
He’s a good lad and never really causes any commotion or trouble but he’s quite angry about this detention too. I’m tempted to call school and speak to somebody but I don’t know if I’m just being a little OTT and he deserves the detention and we should just ‘suck it up’

Why do they bother having the box of masks if someone asking for one gets given a detention?! Gosh, some school staff really enjoy their little power trips don't they? And I say that as a teacher. I don't know what you can do about it really but possibly email asking for their reasoning behind it. Maybe they'll realise how ridiculous it is then.

I had an hour detention for forgetting my atlas at that age, possibly a bit younger. Sounds normal to me.

That's really harsh. My daughter's school have got rid of masks totally now but when they forgot they were just given another mask.
I would call the school and check this is the whole story and if it is then I'd say he's not going.
It might be seen as undermining the school but they shouldn't give detentions for such a stupid reason.

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

Am I the only one who'd shrug and tell him not to forget it again if he doesn't want another detention? 😂 I certainly wouldn't be phoning the school over it but it looks like I'm in the minority

You are certainly in a minority. Have you never forgotten a mask, or anything else? Ever?

We all make mistakes. We take the necessary action to try and mitigate them or if possible put them right at the time. That was what this boy did. No punishment needed. He owned up to it rather than sneaking around the corridors or hiding in corners trying to get away with it.

I think it is excessive but schools can give out detentions for not wearing ties/bringing a book, and a mask is more important than those.

They should just have charged cost for the mask, 25p or whatever. Stupid punishment.

It’s harsh and I don’t agree with it.

But I wouldn’t be undermining the school.

I'm so sorry to hear about his friend - your son must have been in pieces. In normal circumstances I think I'd be in the suck it up and he won't forget again camp whilst still thinking it harsh. However, in these circumstances I think that the school could cut him a bit of slack. Perhaps have a quiet word with the HoY and explain that he was in pieces over his friend and that the school should have been glad he made it at all and that a bit of tlc might be more appropriate. TBH I'd probably ask about what the school is doing to support the year group as well (assuming they were at school together).

Very harsh . I teach in a secondary school and we have a box of disposable ones on each year group “bubble” for forgotten and lost masks . No punishment or cost for the pupil .

@Londonmummy66

I'm so sorry to hear about his friend - your son must have been in pieces. In normal circumstances I think I'd be in the suck it up and he won't forget again camp whilst still thinking it harsh. However, in these circumstances I think that the school could cut him a bit of slack. Perhaps have a quiet word with the HoY and explain that he was in pieces over his friend and that the school should have been glad he made it at all and that a bit of tlc might be more appropriate. TBH I'd probably ask about what the school is doing to support the year group as well (assuming they were at school together).

Sorry. I think I didn’t word that very well. It was mine and my partners friend but thank you.

I'd be telling them he's not to have a detention. End of story. Jeez everyone makes mistakes

He forgot the mask and school have set consequence. It may be harsh but I think it's important not to undermine the school.

Masks cost money. There are 1800 students at our school. If they were given out without any consequence imagine how much money meant for education would be spent on masks. It's a harsh lesson but l understand.

I absolutely agree that he should have to pay for a mask. I would have no problem whatsoever with that. In fact I’d be willing to pay over the odds but I just don’t get how a detention benefits anybody

@yan79

I was tempted to say he wouldn’t be attending but I didn’t know if he would get punished for that also. I agree with it being draconian, my mum said exactly the same. To add to it, the morning he went without his mask we’d found out a close friend had taken his own life so we were a little bit all over the place. Over the weekend I’d taken the mask out of my sons coat pocket to wash. He’d gone to school on Monday without his coat as it was warm so his mask would usually be in his pocket. It was a genuine mistake but the more I think about the whole situation the more angry I’m getting

Oh no. This was the last thing the poor lad needed. I hope he's ok.

It is harsh but its one of those things where when you're dealing with 1000-2000 people, you really do have to have consistency. It's unfortunate and I do get why you feel aggrieved but life is like that sometimes. We all have good reasons sometimes to park illegally, but you have to suck it up if you get a ticket. Life lesson on a) checking for equipment and b) that shit happens sometimes and it's not 'fair' but reality. I often think the kids who find adolescence hardest are the ones who haven't been taught that.

Too harsh for a first offence I feel. It should have been dealt with the same as other forgotten kit which, at my DC’s school would mean a strike in their diary. 3 strikes equals detention. I am generally on the ‘support the school’ side but I wouldn’t be in this case.

Of course I've forgotten things before. And I learn my lessons from the consequences, the same as everyone else.

I'm not saying I agree with the detention, but I genuinely would have just shrugged it off if it was my teenager and tell them (to try) not to forget one again. I don't see one detention as something worth getting angry enough to phone school about

Are you absolutely sure it's the first time he has forgotten and it's not an accumulation of occasions that's led to the one hour detention?

Well he won't forget it again now will he?

If you don't want him to do the detention call the school and explain the circumstances you have described. I'm sure it will be revoked. The general principle of needing to bring one and not holding up their classes seems fine to me.

Contact the school to explain what you have here, and ask whether it really is their policy (and if so where you can find it) to impose that sort of detention for a first offence.

My son was suspended from school for a day for not covering his nose.
I rang his school, told them to get a grip, he was not missing school for that.

OP your update hadn't loaded for me when I replied, I apologise if I came across as a dick. They probably have to do this otherwise they'd be dealing with the same ones 'forgetting' a lot. Having this for everyone means they know to always have a spare in their bag.

Yeah there’s no way my child would be doing a detention for forgetting a mask, especially if it was the first time.