Constant need to buy stuff is getting me down

[zoomzoom68]

I seem to need an endless stream of stuff and it’s starting to get me down.

Just a few examples of things I’ve bought this week:

• Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)
• Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

I know these things sound like one offs, but it seems to be every week that I need something unexpected like this. Does anyone else find the same?

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

It just feels like we slave away to make enough money and then spend it on an endless stream of stuff... and on and on it goes!

Join your local Buy Nothing group on Facebook all of those are exactly the sorts of things you will find for free there and it will be easier to offload the things you don't need anymore that are taking up space. It is also a kind and caring community.

This is why so many posters moan about being perpetually skint!
None of that stuff is actually essential.

Amazon is a bastard and makes it far too easy to spend a tenner here, a fiver there, and whilst it doesn’t sound much, it all mounts up.

A one year old won’t care whether or not you put decorations up on their birthday so you could buy a banner or a pack of ballons and add to your decorations box as he gets older rather than getting everything now.

It’s so easy to fritter away money unless you make a conscious effort not to. I definitely used to waste money on clothes, coffees and snacks at work etc. but I’d rather save now.

Dh and I have very different views of things that we ‘need’ v things that we ‘want’.

I don’t think anything that you have purchased is terrible, I’ve wasted money on worse! You can reuse everything.

I hope you have a good holiday.

@rookiemere

Slight diversion but our wooden chopping boards only last a couple of years as they get black discolouration at the edge. Maybe I should be cleaning it differently?

What on earth are you doing to them?

I’m still using one that belonged to my grandmother so it’s 100th birthday isn’t far distant. It’s chipped and scarred but still fine

How long are you going to the beach for? Babies don't last all day on the beach! What age is baby? Does the buggy not have a hood to get cover from the sun?
I have had two dc and never had a tent...we live by the sea.

Did the plants not come in pots??

@zoomzoom68

But you didn’t need to buy any of those? None are essential?

Surely a beach tent IS essential for taking a baby on the beach in full sun though?

I mostly bought all this stuff from Amazon as it’s quick and easy.

Will I ever get to the point where I have everything I need or will it always be like this? I’m guessing the latter!

Many kids mine & others, lived overseas, always at the beach. NEVER had a tent for a baby/child. No

You can't buy everything from Amazon then complain you're spending too much money. Plus there are cheaper option on Amazon if you're bothered.

You could have left the plants in the containers they arrived in or other things around the house.

You're choosing to buy things, you're choosing to buy more expensive versions, you're choosing to use Amazon THEN complaining. Take responsibility for your choices and what you consider essential.

Yes of course you need to replace things, especially with children - they grow & their needs change.

Maybe you need to tackle this from
The other end if you feel you have to 'slave away'. Change of job/career maybe?

Are you wondering why you can't afford to buy a house ?

My parents used to just use a sunhat, factor 50, and clothes to cover my body when I was a baby at the beach. You do not need a tent.

And decorations - buy some simple reusable generic decorations and reuse them for all occasions. You do not need to buy new for every celebration. What a waste.

@NotMeNoNo

The best thing I bought for birthdays was a length of Happy Birthday bunting (Book people) and a "Birthday boy" badge. Still using them at age 17! Be non age specific.

Same here! We did buy one birthday girl banner (£1) and one boy (£1)! I suppose I could have saved £1 by getting a generic happy birthday banner!!

I’m laughing at the thought of your 17yr old wearing a birthday boy badge!

@zoomzoom68

Parasol, hat and blanket

I don’t have a parasol either! Beach tent is still eligible for return so I could do that and get a parasol. I just thought the tent would be easier with the baby?

The plants were in small pots but will grow rapidly so needed repotting.

I'm sure they did but not necessarily in pots that cost £3 each. You could have bought a pack of 10 plain ones for £5. And decorations for a 1st birthday are certainly not essential. He is 1! He'd be just as happy with a cardboard box. If you really want to decorate get out the Christmas fairy lights.

Don't confuse wanting stuff with needing stuff. Over lockdown I've spent a small fortune on craft bits and pieces but I know it's because I want them, not because they are essential.

@rookiemere

Slight diversion but our wooden chopping boards only last a couple of years as they get black discolouration at the edge. Maybe I should be cleaning it differently?

What on earth are you doing to them?!? This is insane. My wooden chopping boards are over a decade old, not a spot of black on them. They were cheapo ones from Wilkos, nothing fancy.

When you wash them, do you not put them on a drainer to dry?

Or are you trying to put them through the dishwasher?

@MrsMaizel

I prefer to use excess cash to overpay my mortgage but whatever floats your boat.

The OP was disgruntled about feeling the 'need' to keep buying things and resenting it. Which is fair enough.

We are largely conditioned to feel the need/want to buy various items, this tends generally to transfer money from the rather less well off to the much better off (large companies).

I am not immune to capitalism's siren song...I confess to having bought a beach tent last year.

I have fully enjoyed it, especially when it rained and I sat in it reading my book whilst DS played blissfully unbothered by the weather.

Amazon has a

Red poly chopping board for 6 quid
Baby beach shelter uv tent for 16.42
And party decorations pack for a tenner OP you're a victim of your own thought processes :)

@rookiemere

Slight diversion but our wooden chopping boards only last a couple of years as they get black discolouration at the edge. Maybe I should be cleaning it differently?

I bet you're standing it up behind the taps to drain after washing?It's mold because the edge is perpetually damp.

It is true that these things take more time and creativity but money is a replacement for time and time is a replacement for money! Personally, I would rather work less hours for someone else in place of more hours for myself if that makes sense.
Billing at 90 quid an hour, stopping work fir my 30 minute walk to the poundshop alone to save 2 quid would have cost me 43...That’s not buying more quality time for anyone.

My only advice is to try to become more of a minimalist. First step is to delete your Amazon account - they don't pay enough tax and they exploit their workers anyway! Never sign up for loyalty cards, never create an account. You have to put a little barrier between you and the checkout.

There is always a reason to just get x/y/z, but in the end the only way to stop buying stuff is to stop buying stuff.

I now do without, borrow, buy secondhand or if it is something I definitely need I find the right one and really enjoy choosing/buying it. I spend so much less money on stuff and have so much more space in my house.

Will I ever get to the point where I have everything I need or will it always be like this? I’m guessing the latter!

Well, it will always be the latter unless you realise the difference between need and want...

We have a cool bag which has been used every single summer for the last ten years or so on a family camping trip. I guess it all depends on your lifestyle. Curdled milk and rancid cheese are not much fun in the sun!

There are always, always unplanned things that need buying. That’s just life.

Even if you try to stick to the essentials, children grow out of clothes etc, or things break or wear out and you have to pay for repairs or replacements.

I think, as a general rule, it’s helpful to stop and think before buying new things - think about do you really need this item? Can you borrow one from someone? Can you buy it secondhand? If you’re sure you need a new one, where’s good value for money?

It’s very, very easy to just use the buy it now button on Amazon Prime without stopping to think about any of this.

I wouldn't be going to the beach when it's hot enough to need a sun tent as the sand would be too hot for a baby to play on anyway.

I think OP is getting a hard time here like wow all she did was buy some stuff of amazon 😂

• people have different priorities / different ways of living and what’s essential.

Tbf I love our baby tent and find it better than leaving her in her pushchair the entire time it’s sunny.
Cold bags - we use religiously.

Decorations ok so the child won’t be heart broken if they don’t get them but tbh as they get older it’s a pretty normal thing to do for your kids birthdays so maybe not this year but in the future these will be things surely most people purchase.

Chopping board is essential.

Think also - do you actually need it today? Because even with lost school shoes or a ripped school jumper - you write a note to school to say 'sorry they are in trainers until the weekend' and you get the chance to go to the cheaper shop rather than ordering in a rush. Very few things have to be bought this instant, other than food or medication.

@MySocalledLoaf

It is true that these things take more time and creativity but money is a replacement for time and time is a replacement for money! Personally, I would rather work less hours for someone else in place of more hours for myself if that makes sense. Billing at 90 quid an hour, stopping work fir my 30 minute walk to the poundshop alone to save 2 quid would have cost me 43...That’s not buying more quality time for anyone.

Well good for you for earning so much money... some of us aren’t so lucky (and like to buy second hand to help the environment)!

You really shouldn't take a baby on the beach at a time they need protection from the sun!

Go early and late, it's madness to take them in the middle of the day.

I don't understand the brits habit to drown their kids in sun tan lotion from March, but who happily leave them in the midday sun on holiday.

@fashionablefennel

You really shouldn't take a baby on the beach at a time they need protection from the sun!

Go early and late, it's madness to take them in the middle of the day.

I don't understand the brits habit to drown their kids in sun tan lotion from March, but who happily leave them in the midday sun on holiday.

It isn't just midday sun they need protection from though. The hottest part of the day is much later often, but even the morning sun can be hot for a baby and you'd want them in the shade