Constant need to buy stuff is getting me down

[zoomzoom68]

I seem to need an endless stream of stuff and it’s starting to get me down.

Just a few examples of things I’ve bought this week:

• Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)
• Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

I know these things sound like one offs, but it seems to be every week that I need something unexpected like this. Does anyone else find the same?

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

It just feels like we slave away to make enough money and then spend it on an endless stream of stuff... and on and on it goes!

It gets worse when they start school. Uniform, shoes, lost lunch bags that need replaced, coats, stationary when they have lost it - do you see a theme of my kids losing things

We bought a beach tent and use it every single year so have def had our money's worth.
I totally agree OP - always something that needs replacing and the £'s soon add up.

See I'd say a beach shelter was an absolute Godsend for us. Our first lasted 8 years, had our second for 6 and counting. Cool bags last about forever so I'd see that as an investment too. We decorate for parties using the same decorations we have had for years (tight or family tradition?). So to me those are very 1 off costs.

Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30) well worth it and if you look after it can be used again and again at home and away
Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15) unless you work 7 days a week there's Def cheaper options if you pop into town or look online
Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15) amazed you don't have one yet but again, look after it and you'll use it for years
Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15) are you having a party so feel the need to decorate? Otherwise kids just need balloons. Normally about £1 for a bag of them. Get from town when you get the plant pots.
New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10) again something you'll use again and again but could probably have got cheaper from the shops

So it isn't so much that you need stuff, of course you do. It's using Amazon as a quick fix rather than finding a few hours for you OR DH to pop to the shops.

It'll be new toys / entertainment and clothes / shoes for years and years to come.

I don’t see this stuff as unreasonable. Sometimes you have a week of spending and then weeks of not spending. Yea a baby doesn’t need decorations but decorating the kitchen for a bday has always made me happy! As others say buy bunting and stuff that can be used over the years for more bdays/put in the garden etc.

@Ylvamoon

My DC never had a pop up tent for the beach! Parasol, hat and blanket draped across the buggy was enough. £30.- saved.

Cool bag you might need, but it should last quite a few years!

Chopping board there are cheaper options on the market. (Not sure how you can break one?)

Surely the plants where already in pots...

No need for birthday decorations... or get less / cheaper ones.

Please, please don't drape a blanket across a buggy. The temperature can become fatal, even though you think you're protecting them.

Sounds like quite normal small expenses. And I am frugal. Seems to me OP is giving herself a hard time (which begs the question why. Who else is involved). Or she is truly making herself unhappy with her purchases. Why? Maybe because she really doesn't want or need them. If that is the case why are you buying them? What is the driver? To feel better, safer. To feel loved. Just some thoughts.

I think lots of posters are missing the point, which is constantly buying stuff ! Of course all our purchases are not essentials and different people need different things. The marketing, especially at the baby stage is soooo clever. Also when the children grow their needs change so rapidly it's hard to keep up. Even those absolutely essentials like school uniforms and shoes need replacing much more often than my clothes, and then add everything else like swimming kits, friends' birthday presents, other clothing, bikes, scooters, lost water bottles and so on and that is a lot of stuff !

I really try to think before I buy and I buy absolutely everything I can secondhand, most of the kids toys and clothes, my clothes, furniture... But it still takes time and effort to get them, actually often even more than getting things new.

I think the tent is pretty essential actually and you can now use it every year on holiday or everytime you go to the beach or in the garden. Yes, if you really didn't have the money you could use a sheet propped up on poles of some description. I wild camp and I have a lightweight tarpaulin which can be rigged up on walking poles to make various types of shelters.

The rest of it you don't really need or there are cheaper options. You could have picked up a chopping board for a couple of quid in the supermarket.

I think if you have kids (I don't) there will be a constant stream of stuff you need to buy for them. I'm prepared to go without and I'm in the middle of a 3 month spending strike (long story, won't go into it here) but if I had a child I'd want to make sure they had everything they needed as well as nice non-essential things (not 15 quid for birthday decorations though, I'd draw the line at that)

I’m a granny and never had a ‘beach’ tent for the children - but we did have a play tent. It was also used in the garden and for quite a few years afterwards for play. They just have a new name now ‘beach’ and have been marketed at a higher price. There’s a play tent on Amazon for £9.99.
You are not being unreasonable OP but there are some excellent alternatives on this thread. (Although if I was to go to our local Poundland it’s a 42 mile round trip plus parking 😂😂)

You also have to factor in the value of your time and the cost of travelling somewhere. Some weeks when I work a lot my time is too valuable to spend walking to the pound shop or improvising a homemade solution, so I order online. It’s a few pounds more expensive but I come out better off.

I understand what you mean, but I have learnt over the years from my desire to help the environment and save money to improvise where possible or seek out freebies/cheaper second-hand alternatives. An example is my five year old wanted a bed canopy - it would have been really easy to order one online but instead my DH rigged up a home made version using tent poles from a plat tent we already had to make a frame over the bed which he then draped an old duvet cover over. Our DS was thrilled with this and after a few weeks he decided he didn’t want it anymore (making us even more pleased we hadn’t bought anything to add to the clutter)!

It is true that these things take more time and creativity but money is a replacement for time and time is a replacement for money! Personally, I would rather work less hours for someone else in place of more hours for myself if that makes sense.

I get it OP. I remember a time when everything I bought felt like a 'need' but actually, it was a 'want'.

A couple of comments on your purchases:

Cool bag - I think this is a good purchase and it will pay for itself if you bring drinks etc from home as opposed to buying them when you are out. You probably could have got a cheaper one if you shopped around.

Plant pots - you probably paid a premium for colourful ones. Plain plastic ones would have done the job m. This is an example of there bring a cheaper alternative.

Chopping board - you could have used a plate or a baking tray as an alternative (which is what I do, sometimes).

Sun tent - I'm on the fence about this as I've never used one, but I can see why you feel it is important. Still think you could have got one cheaper.

Before I make a purchase i do think about wants vs needs, if there are cheaper alternatives, can I borrow one, how can I get it for the best possible price etc.

I buy household stuff from pound stores, 2chopping boards literally £1, cool bag £4 if I remember correctly.

@zoomzoom68

Parasol, hat and blanket

I don’t have a parasol either! Beach tent is still eligible for return so I could do that and get a parasol. I just thought the tent would be easier with the baby?

The plants were in small pots but will grow rapidly so needed repotting.

Our beach tent was one of our best ever purchases. Got a £10 pop up one from Amazon and used it in the park, on picnics etc almost daily for the first summer and is still going strong three years later

I do think it’s really hard to live a no-spend life, so these kind of purchases will keep cropping up, but I also agree that if you’d gone somewhere like Home Bargains, you could have easily gotten all that stuff for about 1/3 the price, so maybe consider cheaper options if possible.

Always go second hand or borrow as your first option.

The world is drowning in plastic. Freegle is your friend. As is FB market place.

New beach stuff is costing more this year so said the news due to delays in shipping and more people staying put for hols. Demand is bumped.

You don't need to buy plant pots or decorations.

Beach tent is useful as is chopping board. Cool bag/beach tent - could you borrow?

@Arbadacarba

The tent is essential

Is it, though? I'm fairly sure such things didn't exist in my childhood and I don't remember mass outbreaks of sunstroke/sun burn. And my childhood included the 1976 heatwave!

We had parasols and wind breakers. But most children I know growing up in the 80s actually did get really bad sunburn a few times because parents were as bothered about it as now

Even those absolutely essentials like school uniforms and shoes need replacing much more often than my clothes, and then add everything else like swimming kits, friends' birthday presents, other clothing, bikes, scooters, lost water bottles and so on and that is a lot of stuff !

DS (12) has grown 6” in height and 2 full shoe sizes since March 2020. He is currently existing on a skeleton wardrobe but still needs school shoes, trainers, football boots and walking boots as a minimum for PE and his choosen sports. Size 9 feet, so full VAT too! We try and get second hand stuff, but it’s getting increasingly tricky for his height/width and thin on the ground new or used!! We’ll have a few months grace with shorts at least!

I’ve always just paid £60 for him to take a music exam, 🤞, he passes!!

I don’t begrudge this expenditure, and we are fortunate that we can afford it, but it’s just an indication of the costs associated with children.

@TheDeckchairGardener totally agree.

Money = someone's time worked - so it's always a trade off and we try to spend only if we can't get suitable item free or second hand or DIY. Crepe paper great for streamers - just cut into strips and twirl/hang. packet of balloons and cake candles and you're done. Maybe some bubbles? For one year old that's fine.

Like you say, all greener options for our poor weary planet.

You might save money if you stop using Amazon. eBay is just as easy but you have to wait a couple more days but generally I find things cheaper if they’re new or significantly cheaper if they’re second hand.

@Arbadacarba

The tent is essential

Is it, though? I'm fairly sure such things didn't exist in my childhood and I don't remember mass outbreaks of sunstroke/sun burn. And my childhood included the 1976 heatwave!

kids were always sunburnt in the 80s!

@Summerfun54321

You might save money if you stop using Amazon. eBay is just as easy but you have to wait a couple more days but generally I find things cheaper if they’re new or significantly cheaper if they’re second hand.

it's actually rare to find second hand things on eBay I find... FB marketplace and craigslist are better for that IME

This is why you work - to buy stuff ?

@00100001 agree but gumtree and FB marketplace can be significantly more hassle than just browsing eBay. The eBay brand outlet’s pretty good (I sound like I work for eBay - I don’t!)