Constant need to buy stuff is getting me down

[zoomzoom68]

I seem to need an endless stream of stuff and it’s starting to get me down.

Just a few examples of things I’ve bought this week:

• Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)
• Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

I know these things sound like one offs, but it seems to be every week that I need something unexpected like this. Does anyone else find the same?

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

It just feels like we slave away to make enough money and then spend it on an endless stream of stuff... and on and on it goes!

If youre buying eberytjing from amazon then youre paying for convenience- you can save money second hand.

We can see the beach from where we are. People are wearing jackets, hoodies and jumpers. I am not sure specific kits for the sun will be needed much this summer. Wind breaks, and placing the baby in the shade they create, may be more useful.

That said, the first hot day and the beach will be full of day trippers, who arrive early to get a parking space, and their babies will be in the sun all day.

I think if you want to cut back on spending you need to get into a certain mindset. So I’d take a regular tent to the beach, or borrow one or ask on a local FB or WhatsApp group if I didn’t have one. Or just take a big umbrella? Not sure.

Plant pots - again see if you can find for free, or use upcycled old tyres (free) with some spray paint (£5).

Other stuff - borrow, make yourself or leave. Cool box for me = polystyrene or cardboard box from Gousto, wool insulation and lots of ice blocks.

I would buy a chopping board though!

This isn’t tied to my income, btw. I don’t like having excess stuff in my home, I don’t like supporting Amazon, I don’t like single/limited use items that get thrown away, I don’t like the culture of planned obsolescence. I genuinely get a little warm glow from either finding or giving away to someone else a particular item that meets a need.

First step is to delete your Amazon account - they don't pay enough tax and they exploit their workers anyway!

I did this a few years ago. Don't miss it in the slightest.

And I’d say a lot of avoiding Amazon is down to advance planning tbh. Yes Prime delivers the next day but in a week I bet you can find a tent, set of plant pots, birthday decorations and even a chopping board free locally.

Cool box for me = polystyrene or cardboard box from Gousto, wool insulation and lots of ice blocks.

I love the fact that having packaging from Gousto is being used as evidence of frugality!

I do use them occasionally been but so does every 10th person on my street - no shortage of cardboard boxes or wool insulation.

I think the tent, chopping board and cool bag are fairly good purchases and if good quality should last you well. We still use our beach tent and our DC are school age.

I need to buy several plant pots so an with you on that one too!

I think like previous posters said, it’s finding the time to hunt round for stuff when Amazon is one click and it’s delivered
So you decide what is more important, 'pissing money away' or spending an hour on an evening browsing free sites. I'm skint so have notifications and emails for freecycle / free on facebook groups etc. Doesn't take up these vast swathes of time and have gotten 90% of our new baby stuff for free or very reduced price. Even decorations people are always giving away (plus they're just plastic tat, not needed for a 1 year old imo).

A cool bag can cost very little (I doubt mine was more than a fiver) and will pretty much last forever (mine is c. 20 years old, and no reason to think it won't last another 20 years or more). Same for a chopping board.

The other bits of spend are where money is being wasted.

I don't order from Gousto/Hello Fresh etc. (and I don't know anyone that does tbh, although I haven't quizzed all my acquaintances), so we don't have cardboard boxes and wool spare. It would probably cost me more time, effort and money to get hold of wool for packaging than my cool bag cost.

None of my four, once mobile wanted to sit anywhere for long when there was a beach to explore so a tent would have been pointless. I could get them to sit in a paddling pool filled with sea water for a bit but that was about it.
However if I did buy things like that and the cool bag we would factor them into the cost of the holiday rather than them coming out of the day to day budget.

Same with the decorations, they'd come out of the overall birthday budget.

Same> I might as well move half my bank account to Amazon. Maybe they should create a bank account so I can just give them money direct.

And while I don't agree with them not paying enough tax, I understand that their business model is slightly different in that they are creating vast numbers of jobs, which in itself generates tax and puts masses of money into the economy (rather than direct to the government who will spend it on HS2, private yachts, tasteless nationalist airplanes, overpriced contracts to their friends - the government will not be paying nurses any extra if Amazon pay more tax).

For me the key point is not about never spending money, but about reusing what you have, and making things last so you get value for money.

So for decorations - there is no need to buy new for every celebration you might have. Buy some simple coloured bunting, and use that for every special occasion. Wooden star baubles etc. from your Christmas tree can be hung up as all-purpose decorations too. No need for personalised balloons or banners each time.

Some things are essential (e.g. a chopping board), but if you look after it the cost per use is tiny, fractions of a penny. The previous poster who said that her chopping boards go mouldy after a year is very obviously just not looking after them! I don't exactly treat mine with kid gloves, but they are in good condition and I expect to get decades more out of them.

So make/buy reusable items where you can (even if it's slightly more expensive to start with, cost per use will be low), and make things last once you have got them. And evaluate expenses like the beach tent with a critical eye - do you really need it? How many uses will it get?

To the person who said about draping a blanket over a pushchair on the beach - this is insanely dangerous! It can raise the temperature to 40 degrees in direct sun. It’s akin to leaving them in a car. A thin muslin plus a portable fan is just about ok in an emergency.

I understand that their business model is slightly different in that they are creating vast numbers of jobs, which in itself generates tax and puts masses of money into the economy (rather than direct to the government who will spend it on HS2, private yachts, tasteless nationalist airplanes, overpriced contracts to their friends - the government will not be paying nurses any extra if Amazon pay more tax).

This is utter bollocks. Creating jobs does not exempt companies from paying corporation tax.

This is utter bollocks. Creating jobs does not exempt companies from paying corporation tax

Ok, but I don't trust the government to spend any extra Amazon tax in way that benefits the average UK citizen anyway. I disagree and am sickened by the nationalistic yacht and plane, HS2 is a tragedy, dodgy contracts amount to billions. I can't see how Amazon paying tax is going to get by nurse DH the salary he deserves. The government will spend the money in a way that benefits them and their friends. Maybe another press room in vile colours that costs millions.

OP is it more that selling baby stuff on facebook / ebay is actually quite difficult - which I think it is - which is your gripe?

A lot of people have quite a thro away attitude to purchasing things. Add in that a lot of people (rightly or wrongly) do not want second hand things for their children (for whatever logical or illogical reason) and right there you have the fuel for the fire of a thro away culture.

Before I had children (at least a decade ago) I was naieve in thinking that I could get what i needed from second hand sales and/or when the time came sell my own baby clothes/toys/equipment quite easily when it was grown out of etc - actually the opposite is true.

It is really very hard to sell second hand baby things.
Either people want new for their own children, or they want to be able to inspect items in person (not easy in C19 times) or unless you are going to put your heart and soul into selling in sufficent quality and quantum and are prepared to pay commission (eg NCT second hand sales the commission you pay NCT) - then a lot of people just think "charity shop" if they cannot give it to relatives etc.

Or a billion plane makeover, or a yacht that is given a royal name but is for the vain and arrogant politicians....

So we can vote for a different government next time. But it's a dangerous road to go down saying that companies can be excused not paying tax if we don't like the current govt.

Amazon are no better than the gov't though - the way they treat workers is fairly well documented...

Avoid both and try to support local economy or free community resources.

@zoomzoom68

I wouldn’t have bought the tent if it wasn’t for the baby. But am really worried about him being in the sun for too long and getting burnt.

Totally get this ... we got one for the garden one year .... however only used it once as they get so hot as they retain the heat underneath if that makes send so we found it too hot for little one ....if was to get something again would get a parasol and pop a blanket underneath as at least you get the benefit of any breeze x

My local city has a clothes exchange that is hugely popular. You drop off clothes and then can ‘shop’ the other donations in the next size up. It’s so much better than selling on your baby clothes for a few pounds. It’s a reasonably affluent town so the clothes are all generally very high quality i.e Boden, Joules, John Lewis, JoJo. Definitely worth looking to see if your area does something similar

I've only read your posts OP and every single one is defending your purchases.

None of my kids have had a beach tent and we've been to some very hot places. Suncream, hat, into the shade at the hottest part of the day.

£15 on decorations? You defended that by saying you've no glue . A packet of balloons and a banner is £2 in Poundland, card factory, asda etc.

£15 cool bag? Again, fiver in home bargains.

You're choosing to buy all of this and pay the prices you pay and tbh it sounds like you can't afford to.

Online shopping is addictive. It’s designed that way. DH mindlessly scrolls through Amazon every evening, when me & baby are in bed. He ends up buying random stuff most days. And he loves the buzz of getting his package in the post.
Lots of folk in our building are the same. Especially young women, ordering clothes, shoes, make-up...
I never shopped online until the lockdowns (I certainly spent in the shops, we live in a city, but it was far more nuanced than looking at pretty pictures & pressing a button). I’ve noticed how much more influenced I am by online marketing... It’s very powerful & I’ve spent money I wouldn’t have otherwise parted with.