Constant need to buy stuff is getting me down

[zoomzoom68]

I seem to need an endless stream of stuff and it’s starting to get me down.

Just a few examples of things I’ve bought this week:

• Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)
• Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

I know these things sound like one offs, but it seems to be every week that I need something unexpected like this. Does anyone else find the same?

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

It just feels like we slave away to make enough money and then spend it on an endless stream of stuff... and on and on it goes!

@MollyGaves

I’ve battled this for years, I’m in my fifties.

I was the only one who didn’t fill the party bag with crap plastic, a piece of cake and a balloon each child got. So many mums told me they were in awe of me, well I didn’t have the money but my dc had fun parties and still talks about them now.

Flower pots, I cut the bottom off milk cartoons and make into pots, mainly for growing things to go in garden later or to the allotment.

I tie a huge floaty scarf round a huge sun hat, instant personal tent, ok probably doesn’t work with a child. Use a sheet, tie/peg it to a deckchair /pushchair and pull towards to make a space, instant tent.

Get crafty, save ribbons, string etc from wrappings and make decorations. There’s lots of inspiration on things like Pinterest.

Then with what you’ve saved buy a decent chopping board perhaps so that it lasts and lasts and you save the money on buying lots over the years, all aids helping our children’s future on this planet.

I’ve given up selling things. I seem to be jinxed, if I ever do get interest it’s always a hoax buyer or someone who want to cause me lots of agro. So I just donate to my local charity shop. I have however bought lots of Facebook market place, mainly toys for my grandchildren and equipment for having them here and it’s worked fine. I think sometimes there’s just too much of the same stuff out there, if you are in need of it then you get a good choice, selling well that’s a different matter.

Enjoy your trip to the beach.

Excellent, Molly!

People who constantly consume need to consider what they are contributing to the destruction of this poor planet.

Honestly, get rid of your Amazon account. The amount that you save on the very few items that are cheaper there is vastly outweighed by the spending on quick, convenient expensive things. They are actually not that competitive on prices for most things, they just lure you in with prime. I closed my account in 2017 and as a result I buy a lot less stuff now!

A couple of years ago, due to dh being made redundant, I drastically cut my spending for a year. We didn’t ‘have to’, I was working he had a pay out, but it gave me a shock.

It was eye opening, I borrowed, made use of other things, did without....charity shopped a couple of times. Found things I knew we had rather than just bought another one. Mended stuff.

Some of it was time consuming but that was time I’d saved by not shopping.

It reset me a bit. And saved a lot of money.

But to answer OPs question , there is some stuff you just need to buy. But it’s worth thinking, do I? Really need this thing?

I get you. I mean you could have got by without, but constantly feeling like there are things that would make your life easier that you don’t have is horrible too. I mean..yes you could use a plastic plate to chop, you could put your baby in the shade only, you could have just let the plants sit around in plastic pots looking a bit rubbish..but then again, you work to make your standard of living better, so going to work to earn money and then having to fanny about chopping on little plates is more depressing than spending the cash!
Spending is part of life! But the decorations were a waste to be fair. I spend that on decorating for my 9 year olds birthday who wants a specific theme. A baby...no way. Balloons only!

We live in a fast consumerist society where we are led to believe that we need loads of stuff. I used to be a shopaholic and now recognise that I was shopping to make myself feel better all the time (I was being bullied at work). The trouble with shopping too much, is unless you have a ruthless disposal system, you can then all into the trap of becoming a hoarder or pack rat, filling your house and garage with stuff that you might have used once or twice or even not at all. It had got so bad that I still have stuff in their original bags with the price labels on.

I lost my job at the beginning of the pandemic and everything changed for me. Suddenly I didn't have all this disposable income to blow. I'm living off my savings now and it is interesting as I'm much more measured about purchasing stuff. Sometimes we think we need something and then if you wait a few days that need passes or has moved onto something else. I still find myself sometimes doing late night online impulse buys every once in a while. Sometimes you think your life will be better or 'enhanced' in someway by owning something but then find that you're just accumulating loads of stuff - baggage!

I'd love to be minimalist or to Marie Kondo my life.

The whole psychology of shopping is fascinating.

I didn't realise cool bag meant a picnic bag. Thus is a good idea and is cheaper than buying food out every day. But now you need to buy ice blocks!

Seriously send the tent back. I think a sun umbrella and a windbreak is a more useful long term purchase. Unless you are buying a proper beach tent. In which case you got a bargain. If its just a baby one then it's not worth it.

There's a few comments about being creative.

Don't get me wrong I think it's brilliant that people make their own stuff and enjoy getting ideas for it from Pinterest etc. But I'm not a crafty person and I created a lot of unnecessary stress for myself when DS was younger trying to make rather than buy.

It's good if you want to and can, but money can also be saved by buying second hand or at cheaper shops or not buying unnecessary stuff.

Stop buying from Amazon, its all too easy to buy stuff instantly. If you had to make the effort to go buy things like adding it to a shopping list and going into town to look for it. Then during that time you could have found another solution like borrowing a cool box from friends or family, use an umbrella instead of the tent and so on.

I've been feeling similar - for me, lockdown and being stuck inside for so long has focused my mind on things we need around the house, in particular.

On the party decorations thing, there are people offering party kits that you can hire and return. Good for the environment (more use for non-recyclable plastic stuff that is typically a one-off in our house) and potentially a bit cheaper than buying new stuff every year.

Here's an interview with a woman local to me; if you look around, there might be similar near you: Planet-friendly parties

Its all about individual choices.

If you want to buy lots of stuff then you will buy stuff.

I you don't then you won't.

If you value convenience and ease then you will use amazon.

If you are broke the none these are choices because you can't afford it.

Eg plant pots are completely optional. A baby tent is very very optional ( had to google to see what it is). Cool bags and chopping boards can be bought cheaper from a supermarket.

Its all about choices in all purchases.
Even a loaf of bread.

Homemade
Cheap supermarket sliced
Individual artisan bakery.

Etc

Also, don’t buy balloons - they are an environmental nightmare. Just buy a banner you can reuse.

I know what you mean, I'm forever splashing the cash on Amazon. I use a credit card for amazon points and am often a bit pained at the bill.

Lots of slightly but not desperately essential purchases. This week a microwavable teddy as I managed to scorch the last one. Stove blackener to polish up the cast iron stoves and the bbq. Two birthday presents as DT went to a party at the weekend. Two narrow booster seats as older child was feeling squished in the car.

I suppose I could of got in town but it's 45 minutes each way , parking, multiple shops and the risk I might not find something. Two weeks ago I tried to pick up trainers from Tesco but no size 5's so came home and bought off Amazon anyway.

By the time I put in petrol costs/ opportunity cost it's often cheaper to buy from Amazon. Before I went back to work I had more time to bargain hunt, now I value my time more.

@BarkingUpTheWrongRoseBush

A couple of years ago, due to dh being made redundant, I drastically cut my spending for a year. We didn’t ‘have to’, I was working he had a pay out, but it gave me a shock.

It was eye opening, I borrowed, made use of other things, did without....charity shopped a couple of times. Found things I knew we had rather than just bought another one. Mended stuff.

Some of it was time consuming but that was time I’d saved by not shopping.

It reset me a bit. And saved a lot of money.

But to answer OPs question , there is some stuff you just need to buy. But it’s worth thinking, do I? Really need this thing?

Yes, I did exactly the same when DH and I both lost our jobs in the same week. That was quite a shock with 38 years between us in "jobs for life"!

We also had payoffs so it wasn't life and death, but we just stopped spending and it is actually shocking how little of what we were buying was really needed.

Of course that's what money is for and we should enjoy it, but so much "stuff" isn't really enjoyed.

I don't actually find Amazon that easy any more. And it's certainly not cheap in most cases.

If you know exactly what brand/type of a thing you want and search for it, you get hundreds of results for something else completely.

If you know you want something like a chopping board, they show you literally hundreds of the things. Great if something on the first page suits your needs, otherwise, how many pages do you look at, and there's always the nagging feeling that they never even showed you the best and/or cheapest one.

Then if you want more than one thing, you'll find its coming in endless different parcels on different days, or one can't go to the locker, or they won't say what day it's coming so you don't know if you'll be in or something's out of stock, so now they're saying they'll send all of it in 3 week's time.

I've given up with them mostly now, except for Kindle books.

For the sort of things the OP is looking at, so much easier to just keep a list and look in the shops when you're out. Plus likely to be much cheaper and you can see the physical item before you buy.

For the last few years I have been writing down everything I spend money on, which has been quite an eye opener. I spend far too much on clothes, but for me the biggest spend is the mid week small shops.

I agree that we spend so much time earning money and then a lot of the time spend it on stuff we don’t need!

That’s just life OP. If you want to do things ie have a party for your child or go on holiday then yes, buying things like this does make life easier.
If you were really hard up though you would have:
-Bought a cheap pack of balloons for party or make your own from paper and scissors.
-carried the buggy onto the sand with another person and sat child in that for shade, or borrowed someone else’s beach umbrella
-used a plate as a chopping board
The plants would have sat on saucers or similar and no pots would be needed.

Amazon is a bit of a devil's trap. And Prime makes it all the worse. Take a look at the cost of the items you want on there that do not have prime delivery - they can be half the price!

I know what you mean OP. It does seem to be an endless round of costs. I'm trying to get mine (11&7) set up for the summer and uniform etc for next year... its never ending!

@zoomzoom68

But you didn’t need to buy any of those? None are essential?

Surely a beach tent IS essential for taking a baby on the beach in full sun though?

I mostly bought all this stuff from Amazon as it’s quick and easy.

Will I ever get to the point where I have everything I need or will it always be like this? I’m guessing the latter!

You are buying into a consumerist mindset that you “need” all this stuff. You don’t.

@OnTheBrink1

That’s just life OP. If you want to do things ie have a party for your child or go on holiday then yes, buying things like this does make life easier. If you were really hard up though you would have: -Bought a cheap pack of balloons for party or make your own from paper and scissors. -carried the buggy onto the sand with another person and sat child in that for shade, or borrowed someone else’s beach umbrella -used a plate as a chopping board The plants would have sat on saucers or similar and no pots would be needed.

Oh and used a Tesco bag for life as a cool bag or borrowed one. I grew up with very little money and these are all things my family would have probably done

I can see the pull to spend can be draining even if they're not really needs.

Little ones and trips are definitely an area that makes a lot of people spend. I've recently moved which is another area, and I've hit a point where there is still that 'wouldn't it be nice if...' and 'we need to replace that as it got damaged/lost' alongside a bleh of spending more money and feeling like it's never ending.

Like, I've found a keyboard on facebook marketplace that's perfect to replace the one that was broken and DD1 needs it lessons, but I've hit wall of procrastination as it's another thing to go pick up and spend money on.

I used to think there were things I 'needed', especially when the children were babies.

However three months of clearing my mother's home of things she had bought and never used, or kept 'just in case', was an effective cure.

I have tried to reuse or repurpose stuff, and if this is unlike, I get rid of it. If you have less stuff you are more likely to know where it is.

When I do buy something, I try to avoid Amazon. Things are often cheaper elsewhere, and when you need something lkke a chopping board it is more fun to pay a bit more and buy from a British craftsman through Etsy. It will be better made, more interesting and bring more enjoyment.

Amazon is tempting because it is instant. Perhaps try to get a habit of pausing. Do you really need it or is there something that can be repurposed. Then if you do need it, is it worth searching a bit and investing in something really nice.

We have never had a beach tent and have 3 kids and live near the beach so have gone regularly.

£15 on decor is crazy, 15 items would be pretty much all of poundlands party decor range.

Chopping board, not sure how you break one but I was shocked when looking to get some that they where £5 (which I thought was a bit much for a simple piece of wood or plastic), definately no need to spend £10

I needed a cool bag for my medication when I flew a few years ago, it was £5 from wilko and I still have and can use it.

Plant pots are hardly needed but thats the kind of stuff you get for free normally, check things like facebook (I have never bought a plant pot in my life, I dont even like plants yet somehow aquire them when people ditch them on me for free).

Sell on vinted !

we've used our beach tent for years! DS is 17 now. When he was a baby and toddler, he napped in there... it's even big enough for an adult to have a nap in it out of the sun too.

It meant we didn't need to take buggy on beach - bonus in my mind!
Keeps all stuff off the sand/out of sun and acts as a windbreak too.