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AIBU?

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Original poster

Constant need to buy stuff is getting me down

418 replies

zoomzoom68 · 08/06/2021 07:01

I seem to need an endless stream of stuff and it’s starting to get me down.

Just a few examples of things I’ve bought this week:

  • Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)
  • Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
  • Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
  • Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
  • New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

I know these things sound like one offs, but it seems to be every week that I need something unexpected like this. Does anyone else find the same?

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

It just feels like we slave away to make enough money and then spend it on an endless stream of stuff... and on and on it goes!

OP posts:
Oly4 · 08/06/2021 19:36

Proper beach tents are fab. Ours is a decade old and still going strong. Used for naps, changing, eating lunch and crucially, staying out of the sun. Wouldn’t be without it

DulseSeaweed · 08/06/2021 19:40

Enjoying some of the replies. OP shouldn't buy a chopping board, or a plant pot. OP stop buying clothes too, you can just go naked don't you know?

Were you ever really really hard up? I once was and even now we are a six figure income family I feel nervous when we get 'spendy' which can mean a week in which we need to replace something broken and buy some new clothes for the kids. I think that feeling of insecurity always stays with you. I could be off base here.

itsamegladon · 08/06/2021 20:09

An umbrella would be better than spending money you don't have on a beach tent

fashionablefennel · 08/06/2021 20:11

Enjoying some of the replies. OP shouldn't buy a chopping board, or a plant pot. OP stop buying clothes too, you can just go naked don't you know?

If I was resenting having to buy a chopping board or a plant pot for a few quids, I would seriously consider another job. What's the point of a full-time job if you can't even afford a plant pot?

purpledagger · 08/06/2021 21:01

The OPs original post was that she felt down about all that stuff she 'needs' to buy.

Some of us pointed out that some of the examples the OP posted (sun tent, plant pots, cool bag, birthday decorations and chopping board) were 'wants' not needs. Others said that those same items could have been bought cheaper elsewhere.

EssentialHummus · 08/06/2021 21:10

On a bit of reflection I think the distinction I'd draw, OP, is between things you might need just once or twice and things you need regularly. So chopping board - one thing; but a beach tent if this might be your first and last trip to the beach... I'd beg or borrow in the first instance.

Notthissticky · 08/06/2021 22:57

A propos of this thread I have now bought a massive sun shade for our gardenBlush TBF I had been looking at parasols a few days ago and didn't like what I could afford and this is a much better solution and cheaper!

Clydesider · 08/06/2021 23:05

I also seem to be unable to stop buying stuff and it has got worse since I got Amazon Prime. I've tried to understand why I do it and wonder if it is linked to having had nothing when I was a child. Or maybe I'm just buying things as it makes me feel happy. I don't know.

proopher · 08/06/2021 23:08

I don't think a beach tent is essential - can't you use an umbrella ? I've never even thought of buying a beach tent!!

BarbarianMum · 08/06/2021 23:22

@itsamegladon

An umbrella would be better than spending money you don't have on a beach tent
Are they much cheaper? I'd have said the beach tent is more versatile.
Eustaciavile · 08/06/2021 23:26

@Arbadacarba

The tent is essential

Is it, though? I'm fairly sure such things didn't exist in my childhood and I don't remember mass outbreaks of sunstroke/sun burn. And my childhood included the 1976 heatwave!

In fact, I did nearly die of sunstroke in 1976 but at 9 would have been a bit big for a sun tent even if they’d existed 🤣
CrazyCatsAndKittens · 08/06/2021 23:43

We have a sunshade tent that I bought around 10 years ago and is still going strong. We use it at the beach and at the park during summer. Ours was a bit expensive as I bought one with poles as the pop-up ones can be a bit hit or miss. A parasol or umbrella is much harder work, especially if it’s a little windy.

We go camping most summers and I often pick stuff up I think we’ll need at the end of the summer when it’s heavily discounted.

But, yes, life as a parent is expensive. They eat like horses and grow like weeds.

Lancrelady80 · 09/06/2021 01:02

Dh was given a beach tent as a present recently. Children are 7 and 5, we managed perfectly well without until now. BUT now we have it, it is such a complete game changer that I wish we'd had it years ago. Fits all four of us and that's laying down in it. Not essential but SO much nicer and would have been amazing for shade, nappy changes etc when children were tiny.

Pointless expense if it's a one off use, but if you live near/visit a beach regularly, it's well worth the cost.

OP is getting a lot of flack for her specific examples, but I agree with her overall point that there seem to be a constant flow of things needing to be bought, whether that's more suncream, new shoes, a washer gone on a tap, a wiper blade that needs replacing... and it's as much the mental effort as the cost that's the problem.

newnortherner111 · 09/06/2021 06:24

Your definition of need and mine are very different OP. As for the tent, I am sure your baby could manage without being on the beach at that age.

HomeSliceKnowsBest · 09/06/2021 06:47

@PicturesOfLily What tent did you buy please? I need one for DDog Grin.

Love that this has descended into 'why are you even going to the beach with a baby, you reckless spendthrift'. Mumsnet always comes up with the goods Grin.

diggingatrench · 09/06/2021 06:50

Surely a beach tent IS essential for taking a baby on the beach in full sun though?

Definitely not. Didn't even exist when we were kids!

BarbaraofSeville · 09/06/2021 07:31

@diggingatrench

Surely a beach tent IS essential for taking a baby on the beach in full sun though?

Definitely not. Didn't even exist when we were kids!

But a lot of children in previous times got horribly sunburnt because people didn't know any better. I know I did. Plus it's also probably the case that, due to global warming/depletion of the ozone layer, the sun is stronger in the UK than it used to be.

If you're outside in the UK in the summer, you need shade. Of course a beach tent and going to the beach is not essential, but it would be miserable to be inside in this weather so getting outside is probably beneficial. You could always sit under a tree in the park if you don't want to buy a sunshade.

The problem is that the OP has gone for the easy option, which is usually also expensive. Hence all the suggestions about borrowing, second hand, or using the vast array of cheaper shops, most of which require more effort than clicking 'buy' on Amazon.

Kpo58 · 09/06/2021 07:57

I think borrowing things is harder nowadays. People often don't have anyone to borrow off locally and by the time you have gone miles to friends/family, it would have been cheaper to buy new anyway.

Malteser71 · 09/06/2021 08:03

Beach tents also store your stuff while you get into the sea!

EmeraldShamrock · 09/06/2021 08:22

A beach tent may not have existed years ago however they are excellent especially if the baby needs a nap.
I didn't have one for my DC however I'd definitely buy one these days if I had a baby.
You'll get a couple of years out of it.

NotMeNoNo · 09/06/2021 08:36

I can remember seaside trips of the 1970s laden with the windbreak, parasol and deckchairs. Pop up tent is a good invention.

BarbarianMum · 09/06/2021 08:41

Was just going to say the same @NotMeNoNo. Trips to the British seas side have always involved the need for a bit if protection from the elements

Namechanger0800 · 09/06/2021 08:51

I've got 5 kids and still use our beach tent we bought when eldest was 1. She's nearly 19 now so I think these are useful purchase and I do think needed on a beach in summer to keep baby and toddlers in the shade intermittently. You could have bought second hand though.

Ditto cool bag - a decent one will last and you'll get good use out of it. You could have got way cheaper though but prob won't last. Buy cheaper if it's a one off/ rare use

Decorations - nah or Poundland for cheaper

Chopping board - a tenner seems a lot. I have a ton of IKEA ones which prob didn't cost a tenner between them. If it's a nice wooden one then I get it but if u r saving money could have compromised

PicturesOfLily · 09/06/2021 08:52

@HomeSliceKnowsBest I got it from Amazon 🤣😳 In my defence, I had a gift card to use. I got this one: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B08QV2NKVF/ref=syn_sd_onsite_mobileweb_118?psc=1&adId=20071307186206&widget=sd_onsite_mobileweb&uh_it=5f0a43ef39438bef3ff8700fa1b0ddc2_CT&qualifier=1623225018&id=8308587873125758&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8&spPl=1 (sorry don’t know how to do a neat link)

hazelnutcrackers · 09/06/2021 09:01

But as PPs have said, you don't need any of that stuff. So just don't buy stuff you don't need then you won't feel annoyed.