Constant need to buy stuff is getting me down

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I seem to need an endless stream of stuff and it’s starting to get me down.

Just a few examples of things I’ve bought this week:

• Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)
• Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

I know these things sound like one offs, but it seems to be every week that I need something unexpected like this. Does anyone else find the same?

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

It just feels like we slave away to make enough money and then spend it on an endless stream of stuff... and on and on it goes!

I get that the list if essential stuff is bever ending...i do enjoy buying nice non essential stuff though.

Also when I needed a new chopping board I found a lovely wooden one for a tenner which us like a slice through a tree trunk. Looks good, inexpensive and gives me pleasure. Try to see it like this- if you need something for the home try to get one you like . The tent will make family days to the beach easier...therefore these little things will make life better.

It's perfectly normal that purchases make us feel safe. Resource accumulation was important in our evolutionary history (toilet rolls anyone?). The point is you feel unsafe and need to reach for the credit card to regain a sense of 'normal'. When that becomes a significant part of your everyday and has significant negative consequences then there is cause for concern. You are right to question why and seek answers. Within you lies the answer.

Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)

Why not take an umbrella and drape a light cloth or towel over it?

Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
I use all sorts of containers lying around at home for plants. Crock

• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)¥*

Argh butter fingers me!

Some substitutions:

Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)

Why not take an umbrella and drape a light cloth or towel over it?

Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
I use all sorts of containers lying around at home for plants. Crockery, even tin cans, old buckets, whatever ...

Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15) Probably not necessary - freeze lots of stuff eg drinks, and keep them in the freezer of wherever you're staying.

Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
Oh really ... totally unnecessary. Your DC won't notice.

New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

Where are you shopping? Try Wilkos or charity shops.

There are many ways to cut down expenditure if you wanted to.

On the other hand, maybe you like buying stuff? If you can afford it, why fret?

But as PPs have said, you don't need any of that stuff.

@hazelnutcrackers you don't need a chopping board - really? Maybe if you never eat veg!

I’m not sure beach tents existed until 10/15 years ago babies were at the beach usually in pushchair with a parasol. Most purchases we think are necessary aren’t actually when we break it down we just want them/they make life easier. Everyone needs to live with their actual means.

I wouldn't have bothered buying any of those things. Maybe the chopping board but you can get one for less than £10.

Home bargains and B&M in the middle isle In Aldi always seem good for the best prices, also instead of just selling stuff on FB marketplace start buying stuff u need from it. Bet you could have got the sun tent for a baby on there for a bargain price.

All I can say is wait until your child gets older. The constant stream of needing to buy stuff really begins. Chin up and smile we all go through it.

Sorry, but your behaviour does suggest you might have become a slave to consumerism, and the need to 'accessorize your life'.

Even John Lewis sells chopping boards for less than a fiver.

Re selling old baby stuff - I used to try to do that until I read somewhere it is much better karma to give things away to people who need them. This has proved the case for me. Try Young Planet. Or FARA Kids if you live near one of those. If you donate to FARA you can even get a tax rebate if you register for Gift Aid, so everyone wins.

I completely understand op my head makes me feel this is necessary all the time I do it then hate myself for it.
It just goes round in circles I promise I won’t then worry about money a few days later!

My dh is like this. He's always buying 'stuff and that gets me down. The house is cluttered and so much of the stuff he buys gets put to one side and not really needed so it's just taking up space and wasting money. Think to yourself- do I need this or do I want this.

Following this as I’m exactly the same, I actually think I have a problem with online shopping :(

I completely understand OP. Sometimes it’s just unavoidable, definitely look around for second hand bits in the future. However the sun tent and cool bag can be used for years so worth buying. We still have our sun tent I bought for my babies and my children are now 10&12 but still used it on our last holiday so not wasted money.

I grew up on the coast and I don't know anyone who has owned a sun tent for going on the beach so it really isn't a necessity. You rig something up with a blanket and a chair/pram if needs be. Sorry OP

@Clydesider

I also seem to be unable to stop buying stuff and it has got worse since I got Amazon Prime. I've tried to understand why I do it and wonder if it is linked to having had nothing when I was a child. Or maybe I'm just buying things as it makes me feel happy. I don't know.

I’ve had mine linked to stuff in my childhood growing up in a house with no money and then as a coping mechanism like binge eating etc. Wish someone could just say how to stop it though!!

Beach tents are usually a bit rubbish - they get boiling hot inside so no one goes in them, and are a pain to carry about. I’d say take the uv parasol from the pram instead, and go early and leave before sun gets too hot - you won’t want to be sitting in sun at midday anyway with a baby?

in defence of beach tents. Ours is ace, bought when dd was wee and still going strong 9 years later. Yes it does only get used on the beach but it’s a wind break, some privacy and some shade. If you’re spending the whole day on the beach it’s brilliant. I don’t regret buying one.

I think this stuff was OK apart from the tent, as good as they sound u probably won't get the use out of it. Of course u want to get decorations especially for the 1st birthday. I know its not always easy to go out shopping and look around for cheaper things especially with young kids,so amazon is great for that. We always need something! Maybe next month try not to buy from amazon or just put things in your basket and leave it in there for a week to see if u really need it right now

if you work hard for it then buy what you want. I work bloody hard, i'm on my feet 8 hours a day running between clients and I deserve 'things'. I used to feel so guilty for spending money but now I've realised that I can't take it with me, the kids are catered for and we have a nice house so yes, sometimes I do buy 'non essential' stuff. YANBU.

@DeeleysMum

if you work hard for it then buy what you want. I work bloody hard, i'm on my feet 8 hours a day running between clients and I deserve 'things'. I used to feel so guilty for spending money but now I've realised that I can't take it with me, the kids are catered for and we have a nice house so yes, sometimes I do buy 'non essential' stuff. YANBU.

Exactly!

£15 for a 1year old's decorations!

Do you need a sun tent? If the uk, definitely not. Sun cream, UVA tops, sit in the shade, don't stay on the beach too long.

However, I do agree. There's always expense.

Chopping board is essential and £10 quite reasonable.
Bag - probably not essential but nice to have. £15 reasonable.