Constant need to buy stuff is getting me down

[zoomzoom68]

I seem to need an endless stream of stuff and it’s starting to get me down.

Just a few examples of things I’ve bought this week:

• Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)
• Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

I know these things sound like one offs, but it seems to be every week that I need something unexpected like this. Does anyone else find the same?

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

It just feels like we slave away to make enough money and then spend it on an endless stream of stuff... and on and on it goes!

I sort of know what you mean - I often think i “need” things that are really just “nice to have”. But the things on your list aren’t necessary, except maybe the chopping board.

I think the tent is a nice idea but you don’t need it. I never had one.

The decorations definitely not needed.

@fashionablefennel I guess you've not spent much time on British beaches. Half the time the tent is to protect the baby from the sand being whipped along by the wind.

I do agree with you in that it feels like there's always a £15 here, 20 there need for stuff and it all adds up. However I bought one of those beach tents and my baby would not stay in it for love more money, I couldn't pack the thing up either as it kept popping back into shape so on the first day I ended up chucking it in the bin at the beach! Total waste of money!
I used my buggy as a shade and just positioned it between baby and the sun.
Cool bags are £5 in Tesco.
Recently I've had to save a ridiculous amount of money for something and I surprised myself just how much stuff I can actually do without.

@Arbadacarba

(Not sure how you can break one?)

Wooden ones do come apart eventually and plastic ones get scratched and unhygienic. We recently replaced ours - got a nice one for £5 from B&M Bargains.

All my wooden ones have broken. My fault because I leave them in water. Not for a long soak, but just for a bit otherwise there are things like strawberries that I can't clean off. My next one will be plastic.

Freecycle, Trash Nothing (you can put in "Wanteds"), eBay, NCT sales, charity shops, car boots. Plan ahead for the things you need and you'll be spending very little.

I find eBay and car boots are the best places to sell. Car boots for quick money, eBay if you want more money and are prepared to wait a bit longer.

Nah I'm always having to replace things especially with small kids and a dog who loves to chew. It feels endless and we really can't afford it!

I took my then 7mth old to the beach, didn't think to buy a tent though.

I have no advice really. I am just as bad. I love online shopping, especially amazon and opening a package leaves me with a high. Haha. I think I waste a lot of money- I'm terrible!

@Ylvamoon

My DC never had a pop up tent for the beach! Parasol, hat and blanket draped across the buggy was enough. £30.- saved.

Cool bag you might need, but it should last quite a few years!

Chopping board there are cheaper options on the market. (Not sure how you can break one?)

Surely the plants where already in pots...

No need for birthday decorations... or get less / cheaper ones.

Blanket dropped across the buggy has been shown to be very dangerous as actually raises the temperature inside the buggy by 15’

Sun tent and cool bags are pretty essential I think as well as the chopping board. All will be used again? The rest isn’t

Parasol hat and blanket won’t cost much less than the sun tent and the sun tent is far safer

@zoomzoom68

But you didn’t need to buy any of those? None are essential?

Surely a beach tent IS essential for taking a baby on the beach in full sun though?

I mostly bought all this stuff from Amazon as it’s quick and easy.

Will I ever get to the point where I have everything I need or will it always be like this? I’m guessing the latter!

You do know that babies were being taken to the beach, in much hotter countries too, before the advent of tents? I do think that the current crop of mothers are their own worst enemies.

Eventually, you will have everything you need and I don't think those were unreasonable purchases.

Stop buying stuff!

I agree with you that it’s the added expense but there are ways around it.

I’ve bought birthday presents, main Xmas presents all off marketplace. I’m not struggling for money it’s just to make the money go further.

I might buy a generic, good quality birthday banner/sign that I can reuse for other birthdays.

People offer me things and I accept!

I decide what is worth spending my money on and what I can save on. I save lots on clothes for the children as I get clothes given to me and I look on Facebook marketplace. I then spend more on their shoes for example.

The main thing is having bought this stuff, has it left you short of cash for more essentials? If not then, no issue.

I almost jumped in the pile on about beach tents not being a thing when my kids were small, but when I thought about it, if they had been, we’d probably have had one to make life easier!

OP if you genuinely want to save a bit of money, log out of your Amazon account, just put things in the basket and leave them there for 24 hours and see if you think you still need it 24 hours later, that might help.

We used to drape white nappies over prams. White reflects light and therefore heat.

I agree Amazon is the issue and one-click purchases are to blame. Is so easy to sit on your sofa, open an app and click to buy. Plus all manner of items are all in one place.

Also agree with the posters that said we are being programmed to think we need this stuff. I’m always getting sucked in to thinking I need something and my life would be so improved by it. Then I get stressed that the house is cluttered and the cupboards full.

So YANBU to be fed up by this, but it is possible to not live like this. My parents were short on money and no way would all the impulse buys I make have happened for them, they would have made do.

It’s a mindset thing.

P.s I do like our beach tent, we got a pole one rather than pop up, we use it for a break from the sun, keeping all our stuff in, wind break etc. We got a decent one, had it about 6 years already and expect it to go on for many more.

Cancel Amazon prime sub if you have one. Source things on FB and gumtree. Be inventive!

Yeah a bit ironic you're complaining about spending all that money on Amazon (quick but marked up!) when you are also complaining no-one is buying your old stuff on Facebook marketplace? You could get all that stuff (maybe not the chopping board...) second hand

I guess it comes down to what you can spare more readily- time or money. That will be different for everyone. I don’t think there’s ever a time when you stop needing stuff for kids, but you just need to prioritise.

If you can afford to buy things which make life easier without impacting essential spending, then you shouldn’t feel guilty about that. It’s easy to be self-righteous about what other people spend/ use, but if you can afford to buy something that you’ll use a lot for several years then just get it, rather than faffing about with making do.

I’d beware of always going for the cheapest option. Sometimes it’s necessary to save money, sometimes it makes no difference, but sometimes it’s more cost-effective, safer, and more environmentally conscious to buy a good quality item once which lasts for years and years.

You could buy an insulated supermarket carrier bag rather than a cool box, but you’ll need to replace it far more frequently. Our cool box has lasted over 20 years of family outings / holidays.

We found that a beach tent was a useful purchase- I would go for a bigger one though, rather than a baby one. A decent quality one will offer protection from sun and rain, it’s useful for changing in, and your child will probably continue to nap in it when he/she gets older. If you’re likely to have several UK days out and holidays they are worthwhile.

I think a change of mindset is key. If you buy something affordable yet durable which can be used many times, then it’s an investment in making family time run more smoothly.

I've just looked at beach tents as I didn't know what they are. What an excellent idea, and assuming it's big enough will last for years and so handy fo keeping cool box in , changing for shy children as well etc.
I am also a granny and like others, didn't have any of these things. I was often sunburned as a child and because I wasn't protected with hats etc have permanent sun damage to my eyes.
I was determined that my own children would not be subjected to this. Factor 50 was expensive and difficult to find in the 80's and I was told by my contemporaries that I was wasting money. My adult children don't think so.
I had a decent fishing umbrella for shade and it lasted for years providing shelter from the sun and rain on beaches etc. I would have prioritized expenditure on a tent if they'd existed then.
I note that a number of people mention borrowing as an option. I actually don't think that's particularly fair if it's not a commercial loan.
I often loaned baby items etc to people and I felt quite sad that my last child had such a scruffy looking cradle which was actually the result of other people saving money and the concomitant wear and tear. I'm not talking about people in serious poverty as that's a different scenario.
And in answer to your question, yes it will be never ending! But shop around and you will be able to make some savings. And if those plant pots please you then I'd say they're good value. Have a lovely holiday

Well said Lujie

It’s irrelevant whether people deem your list of purchases absolute essentials, nice-to-haves or pointless fripperies, the fact is you chose to buy them and for convenience you paid more to get them from Amazon rather than look for bargains. As lots of people do.

These are choices you’ve made and your posts here are all justifying them so what is it that you’re complaining and getting down about? It’s ridiculous to whine about slaving away to buy stuff as though you were somehow forced to when all that’s happening is you’re spending your disposable income on things you want. If you want to stop spending money on random stuff then surely you just stop ?

I haven’t rtft but I’ve come on to defend beach tents! We were away the week before last and got a pop up one as we have a 3 month old. We didn’t get one when my eldest was a baby but she was a winter baby & we didn’t have a beach holiday either. The tent is fab! Goes up instantly, pegs in securely so won’t blow away, spacious enough for 4 of us to eat lunch etc, keeps baby out of the sun & then folds down easily into a small bag. It’s so much better than just a parasol (as someone who got regularly burnt on holiday as a child despite high factor suncream). Can you tell I like it?!