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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has my helpfulness backfired - yes 🤦🏻‍♀️

95 replies

DaisyDerby · 07/06/2021 20:49

Before I moved in with my DP I spent some time with him & his two teenagers (lockdown 3), so as he’s a key worker he’d go out each day. I could work from home, so cooked etc… and whilst one teenager would help out, the other nope.

Since then DPS has gone back to Uni and DPD treats her dad and me like slaves, although DP does not see it this way… he keeps saying others in the house will do the dishes etc, but it never gets does so piles up and then I give in…

AIBU? Or did I land myself in this dishesgate 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
stackemhigh · 07/06/2021 20:53

Move out asap!

DP wants you to be skivvy for him and his dd.

MadMadMadamMim · 07/06/2021 20:56

I'd move out.

I'm no one's skivvy.

Sumerisicumenin · 07/06/2021 20:58

A life of service, how Victorian of you.

Volcanoexplorer · 07/06/2021 21:00

Do you have anywhere else to go? If you do, move out. You will be doing this forever, they’ll never change.

TeddingtonTrashbag · 07/06/2021 21:01

Move out - date him only.

paniniswapx3 · 07/06/2021 21:02

Agree with everyone else - move out! Leave them to their own dishes!

HollowTalk · 07/06/2021 21:02

Why would anyone put up with this absolute shit?

Notaroadrunner · 07/06/2021 21:03

Move out. He thinks he's found himself a live in maid for himself and his kids. I'm sure that's not what you signed up for so gather your self respect and pack your bags.

Mellonsprite · 07/06/2021 21:05

I agree with PP’s move out until all the teens have fledged the nest!
Disciplining / nagging your own teens is bad enough without having to try and do it to someone else’s!

DartmoorDoughnut · 07/06/2021 21:05

YANBU and move out ASAP

AllDoneIn · 07/06/2021 21:11

Run home, don't walk. It will save your relationship if he's worth it

Beautiful3 · 07/06/2021 21:14

Its him thats treating you like a maid. You need to move out ASAP.

Eviethyme · 07/06/2021 21:16

At the end of the day how did they get done before you moved in? They know how to wash dishes. I would move out just to remind them that you arnt some hired help.

Nofruitta · 07/06/2021 21:17

It will not improve. They know you have higher standards and will do the donkey work.

lastcall · 07/06/2021 21:20

Stop cooking/cleaning for them and move asap.

partyatthepalace · 07/06/2021 21:23

@Mellonsprite

I agree with PP’s move out until all the teens have fledged the nest! Disciplining / nagging your own teens is bad enough without having to try and do it to someone else’s!
This, especially with no support from him.
1Morewineplease · 07/06/2021 21:25

I agree with others... you are enabling your partner and his daughter.
Move out and rethink your relationship.

Longdistance · 07/06/2021 21:27

Fuck that! Move out.

Aprilx · 07/06/2021 21:29

Does your DP leave it to pile up before you give in too?

Souther · 07/06/2021 21:31

Not sure why you are still living there to be honest

Ellie56 · 07/06/2021 21:34

Move out and let them wash their own dirty dishes.You are worth more than this.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 07/06/2021 21:35

Was he super keen for you to move in with him Wink ?

Hoppinggreen · 07/06/2021 21:36

Why are you blaming yourself?
Blame the man who thinks it’s ok for his kids to treat you like this

SuperSange · 07/06/2021 21:37

I'd move out and he'd be an ex.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/06/2021 21:37

Why on earth are you tolerating this shit? Not your kids, not your problem. Get out of there.