Do I stop DDs swimming lessons?

[StopTheSwim]

She’s 6, almost 7 (school year 2 if it's relevant)

Still in stage 1. All her friends are on stage 3 or 4, a few are on stage 6 and about to stop completely.

DD absolutely loves swimming, has completed most of stage 1 and is ready for stage 2 but she will not put her head in the water for backstroke.

She’s the same in the bath at home, she also doesn’t like her hair being washed.

I’ve taken her swimming myself and shown her, we’ve tried practising in the bath, ExH has encouraged her in the paddling pool in his garden but she just won’t put her head in the water. ExH says she won’t shower at his house either (he only has a shower no bath – he only has her EOW for 1 night so we work around it).

She hates having her hair washed too that I literally only do it once a week after swimming because I have to pin her down to do it. And I hate it.

She’s had 1-1 lessons this week over half term due to no-one else in her class turning up, teacher in the water with her and she still wouldn’t put her head in the water. Everything else she’s mastered.

She just freezes with her neck above the water and won’t move it. I’m getting frustrated that I’m paying for her to be in Stage 1 when she’s ready for 2 or maybe even 3, the teachers getting frustrated that she’s ready to move on, I think even poor DD wishes she could do it and move up to the next group.

I’m paying roughly £6 a lesson so while it’s not hugely expensive, it is frustrating.

For added context DD has some medical issues. A joint condition that is greatly improved both pain wise and with strengthening the joints by swimming and that’s why I’ve held out for so long. She’s suspected dyslexic too.

She’s absolutely fine putting her face in the water as long as she has goggles on and covid rules means she’s wearing a swimming hat but it’s not improved her doing backstroke.

I feel torn as it has such great benefits to her medically and currently you can’t book a none swimming lesson due to covid rules so it could be awhile before I can take her myself which is also stopping me and as I said every other part of swimming she absolutely loves.

So AIBU to stop the lessons?

YANBU - Stop the lessons
YABU - Let her carry on

how did I manage to miss out the word WATER? Water supports her and stops her falling.

@Dilbertian

Excellent news. Its a challenge when children cannot articulate what bothers them. Wonderful that the teacher was flexible and understanding. With this approach, hopefully your dd will soon learn that supports her and stops her falling when she puts her head back.

I remember how I learned to float on my back. I could do all the face-down floats, but could not float on my back (I don't remember why). Messing around in the pool one day, just a regular family session but nobody was bothering me to do anything, I started playing musical statues on my own, no music. OK, I was a weird child I was relaxed and under no pressure. I let my statues topple over until I floated. Suddenly I found myself floating on my back! I had been so focused on the game, that I forgot to panic.

I did laugh at the weird child comment and then laugh harder at the statues story because I would have been exactly the same in the pool. I used to pretend I was shipwrecked on a desert island and all sorts on holiday.

Our two DDs were the same. We took them out in the end as DD1 was 7 and still in group one and it was becoming embarrassing for her. We paid up for a leisure club instead and taught them both to swim ourselves, the summer before Covid hit. They are both now really competent swimmers and will swim under water and do all the different strokes.

Does she have sensory issues as well? Tbh if swimming isn't her thing but she can swim to save her life (ie to the edge of a pool if she fell in) maybe stopping her lessons isn't such a bad thing?

You need to look for another swim school. Two years and no progression is a big red flag. My DC's attends a private swim school. The eldest one, who has learning needs and is severely dyspraxic is now apart of a swim squad thanks to them. I'll be happy to PM details.

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

Does she have sensory issues as well? Tbh if swimming isn't her thing but she can swim to save her life (ie to the edge of a pool if she fell in) maybe stopping her lessons isn't such a bad thing?

She absolutely loves swimming, loves being on her front in the water, loves jumping in and it helps her Hypermobility too.

She can be a bit sensory yes, usually sensory seeks though rather than avoids e.g sleeps with 2 or 3 blankets on top of her duvet even in the hottest months.

Yeah, my DC are sensory seekers (mostly) and love water but hate having it touch their ears. You can buy swimming ear protectors from here which might help (not tried them myself): www.fledglings.org.uk/products/ear-band-it