Brace yourselves

[Husbandno1]

NC as this may be a controversial topic....

My wife and I are having a ‘lively discussion’ about breastfeeding. There appears to be mixed evidence online. So we thought we would ask this community and see what others thought.
What age do most people stop breastfeeding their child at?
(I have suggested a year btw)
YABU - a year is way too early, children need that boob for ages to come!
YANBU - we/I stopped breastfeeding my child at a year (or under)

Natural term is generally between 2.5 and 7 years.

Most don't go that long, but if mother and child want to, that's some people's goal.

Generally in this country people stop by six weeks. More stop by 6 months, and many by a year. WHO recommends 2 years and beyond, and yes, that includes for "developed" countries.

I BF my first until 2 yrs 3mths and second until 2 yrs 10 mths. Never intended to bf for that time but it worked for us. I went back to work full time after a year each time. By that point they are happy to go without during the day and then just bf when you're with them. After all, they're eating solids and drinking from a soppy cup by that point. Neither of mine would ever take milk from a cup so they just had water.

9 months
6 months
2 years
1 year.

Varied depending on circumstances/personality of child.

I have four kids and have gone back to work ahead after each child was born. I fed number one for two years, number two for 18 months, number three for 2 years and number four is four and a half and still feeds first thing in the morning for about five minutes.

It's up to the person doing the actual breastfeeding. I did 13 months with mine, went back to work when they were 6 months old. After a year I stopped pumping at work. Supply took about a week to adjust. With hindsight, I wish I'd carried on with just a morning and bedtime feed for much, much longer than I did.

At a year old, going back to work will have no impact and your wife can just do morning and bedtime for however long she is happy to do it.

As the WHO recommended 2 years that’s what I did for both of mine .
Don’t recall ever having a discussion with DH about it .

I stopped altogether at 13 months - I wish I could of done longer but was back at work and attending uni at 12 months, so it got a bit too much - baby wanted to feed all night because he'd missed me in the day. Depends on lots if things, countries differ hugely

I went back to work (in the office 2 days a week at home 1) both times after a year. DD stopped at 2.5 years DS 3.5 years working had little to no impact on this

I did 1 year x 3 children and 2 year x 1 child. I think anyone who manages 6 weeks has done well and anytime past this is a bonus. I found it extremely easy, it's not the same for everyone.

WHO makes a recommendation for the length of breastfeeding based on what is best internationally. In countries without access to clean water, weaning is a dangerous time and breastfeeding should carry on for as long as women can.
In Britain totally up to the mother and none of your business.

I stopped at two years.

Returning to work doesn’t preclude providing breast milk.

Toddlers will adapt to sessions around work schedules. Breastmilk can also be provided in bottles and cups. Breast pumps are incredibly handy devices. Since I did the work of pumping, my DH took on the job of washing all the parts every day and making sure everything was ready for the next pumping session. That support was very helpful.

I voted YABU, but there is no particular 'right time', it's whatever is right for your family. DS1 self weaned at 27 months, DS2 is still going strong at 26 months. It's more than simple nutrition, it's a bonding and reconnecting experience

@Husbandno1

Wow! This was way more heated than I anticipated. Thanks for (some of) your sensible and measured responses.

The reason I suggested a year was that she plans on going back to work after a year, and both financial and practically it might not be possible for her not to work after a year.
We (yes both of us) were actually wondering what others did because it’s our first kid and there is mixed things online to read. Thanks for the resources people have posted.
Some of our friends have breast fed up to five years and others have suggested the baby only needs it up to 6 months. Although the ones that did breastfeed for longer were SAHMs
Anyway, thanks for your collective input.

I don’t see why her going back to work is an issue.

I bf Dd until 16 months. I went back to work when she was about 4 or 5 months old due to rubbish maternity leave. The first few months I admit were tough and involved pumping and going home at lunchtime to bf, but where there’s a will there’s a way.

Certainly by a year old it will be a lot easier. The child will be eating solids and chances are may only want evening breastfeeds.

So it’s not a black and white situation. I would make any form plans in either direction. See what works at the time. If your wife thinks she needs to stop bf when returning to work, fine. If she wants to carry on also fine but I doubt it would be a reason to not work. I have loads of colleagues who have come back to work while still bf.

YABU as it’s not up to you to ‘suggest’ any timeframes.

I did 2 years, back to work after 1. Fed before work, after and bedtime. DS drank cow’s milk and water in the day at a year.

I haven't voted because I don't really think your poll makes a lot of sense. It's not like you say ' I'm going to feed til a year' and then stop on their birthday...

FWIW I'm breastfeeding DS who is 17 months. I never intended to feed for any specific length of time but he's happy and so am I so we carry on until one or both of us isn't.

First - 12 months (when I went back to work)
Second - 15 months as I realised I could wean more slowly and make it easier on myself.

Agree with the notion that it’s completely your choice if it’s your boobs were talking about!

Also the WHO recommend feeding until at least two as far as I am aware

@Husbandno1

Wow! This was way more heated than I anticipated. Thanks for (some of) your sensible and measured responses.

The reason I suggested a year was that she plans on going back to work after a year, and both financial and practically it might not be possible for her not to work after a year.
We (yes both of us) were actually wondering what others did because it’s our first kid and there is mixed things online to read. Thanks for the resources people have posted.
Some of our friends have breast fed up to five years and others have suggested the baby only needs it up to 6 months. Although the ones that did breastfeed for longer were SAHMs
Anyway, thanks for your collective input.

To be honest OP, you kind of bought it on yourself. If you had said something more like ‘my wife and I are hoping to breastfeed but we just don’t know if it’s possible to go back to work after a year and continue, we are in disagreement about this’ you would have had a wealth of helpful responses. Instead, wether you knew it or not, you picked a topic that has caused a lot of women distress, made it into an AIBU poll and gave it a provocative title. That’s why some of the responses have not been to your liking.

WHO recommends until at least 2 years.

So yes, there's plenty of research out there.

This is a man wanting his 'sexual toys' aka his wife's boobs back, isn't it?

This is about him seeing his wife's body as his property. That alone is a reason why she should keep breast feeding as long as the WHO suggest.

Thats 4 years.

If he doesn't like it, she should run for the hills and divorce him.

I was more than happy to give up around a year.

Both kids I stopped when they wanted. 2 years 4 months for first (milk dried up because I was pregnant again or she would have kept going) 20 months for second.

I went back to work after 12 months maternity leave each time. No issue feeding before/after work and evening/bed time plus whenever on non working days.

BF all of mine until about 6 months, never once discussed with DH when i was going to stop it just happened each time due to work etc

DD turns 3 and still breastfeeds twice a day (first thing in the morning and last thing at night). I will let her self wean.