Brace yourselves

[Husbandno1]

NC as this may be a controversial topic....

My wife and I are having a ‘lively discussion’ about breastfeeding. There appears to be mixed evidence online. So we thought we would ask this community and see what others thought.
What age do most people stop breastfeeding their child at?
(I have suggested a year btw)
YABU - a year is way too early, children need that boob for ages to come!
YANBU - we/I stopped breastfeeding my child at a year (or under)

Whoever is breastfeeding has the choice of when to stop. Going back to work etc does not necessarily mean stopping but will bring new challenges. Whatever feels comfortable at the time. It's awful how pressure is put on new parents at this stage. Your child will be fine no matter what decision is made

The evidence is quite clear in the UK, factually, most people stop breastfeeding after 6 weeks and the vast majority stop before 6 months.

It's not something that's worth worrying about before it happens because you dont know how you or the baby are going to take to it or how its going to affect the babys health or your lifestyles.

Personally I fed til18 months ish but I dont see how that contributes to your discussions without knowing how we found it, what obstacles we overcame and why we stopped

I gave up at 6 weeks as I had to back to work. It also made me feel like a dairy cow and I didn't like it.

She doesn’t have to stop breastfeeding just because she’s gone back to work.

Personally I stopped just shy of a year. By that point my period was back and my daughters were eating solid food and didn’t seem to want breastfed anymore, and it didn’t appear that I had much supply left ( the demand had gone!).

I know others who continue far beyond one year, with the child feeding before and after nursery.

I don’t think it’s really about ‘what do most people do’ and more about what is working well for the mother and child.

It’s the Mum’s choice but is also somewhat dependent on the child. One of mine carried on until they were two and a half, and even then they only stopped because I wanted to to fit in with work, but the other seemed to lose interest after about a year.

Whenever the Mum and baby/toddler are ready to stop.

I will continue feeding until my LO self-weans. We’re at about two years now, and feeds are shorter and only one or twice a day, but that’s completely my child’s choice to reduce.

I haven't read all the responses but I wouldn't worry about your wife going back to work. My DD is 8.5 months and i have just returned to work full time, she happily goes through a full day without breast milk as she has refused every bottle we've tried, she doesn't even really like formula in a cup, she just takes some water.
So i breastfeed her in the morning, after work, before bed and during the night if she wakes.

I stopped at a year both times, first time I was 3 months pregnant with no 2, and second time I'd been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for 2 and half years and was ready for my body back! XH expressed no opinion, it was solely my decision

Some people carry on after one year even when working, as by then the baby is eating well so it might be a case of one feed in the morning and one at night - if it has worked out naturally that way and the body has adapted.

OP, people get heated on this subject, because it’s an emotive issue. Mothers can feel very judged on their bf choices.

Even I’m feeling slightly upset by the posters quoting the WHO recommendation to bf until two and saying that natural weaning occurs between 2.5 and 7 yrs. Logically, I know it’s factual information; emotionally, it makes me feel bad that I didn’t bf for that long, even though I tried really hard to bf for longer, saw a lactation consultant, bought an expensive electric pump to keep my supply going, etc.

Everyone has a different experience and some really struggle to bf, whereas others find it easier. You need to be flexible and non-judgemental.

If your child is 1 when your wife goes back to work she’ll probably find it’s not too difficult to move to breastfeeding only before and after work if that’s what she wants to do. Breastfeeding a toddler is nothing like breastfeeding a newborn.

I’d be really upset if you were “suggesting” that to me.

I didn't want to breastfeed, but my partner is allergic to dairy so I thought the baby might be too. Easier to breastfeed and give up dairy, than buy horrible tasting expensive formula. I was quite repulsed by the thought of breastfeeding.

In the end it was easy for me and I kept going until around 10 months when I went back to work.

Her dad didn't get a say in it, sorry.

I went back to work 4 days a week when DS was 13 months and I continued to breast feed him until he was about 4. It worked for us and he weaned naturally at that age. My boobs were good at only providing milk during the morning and in the evening so I didn’t need to pump at work. They are clever things!

Still breastfeeding at 2 year old.

In a perfect world those who could breastfeed would breastfeed to at least 2 years, but unfortunately life and societal pressures get in the way sometimes and it's not possible for every one, nor does every one want to.

Ya kno, bodily autonomy and all that. So the right time to stop is whenever those whose breasts are being fed from decide it's the right time to stop.

I went back to work when my daughter was 9 months old. I'm still breastfeeding her now and she's two next month. It was way easier to keep breastfeeding than I expected with work, so you can stop whenever you like really I guess.

I get how your wife's feeling. Should I, shouldn't I stop? Isn't this way too long? What are people thinking? Am I a good or a bad mother?
Of course, have an opinion, but you (yes you) just don't know. Have you tried asking your wife? Do you want to stop? Is this something I can help with? Does it seem like the baby wants it more than you? This is a unique situation for your wife and your baby and isn't the time for you to be playing dad number 1.
For what it is worth (and really, you can't get more apples and oranges when it comes to parenting) I breastfed dd1 for 19 months and dd2 for 2 years. Because with dd2 I didn't care what anyone thought and did what suited us both.

I didn’t vote on this as neither of the options are right, nor is asking ‘what most people do’. The breastfeeding mother and the baby are known as the mother-baby dyad, the breastfeeding is part of a relationship between them and it has to be something that works for both of them. All mothers and babies are different, one of my babies lost interest at around a year, the other would have carried on as long as they could (but that didn’t work for me, and I stopped at around 3 years). I’d advise not being too rigid about what ‘should’ happen and focus on what this specific mother/baby/family want to do from month to month.

My babies decided when we stopped. #1 lost interest at 12 months, #2 at around 10 months.

My DH was happy that breastfeeding worked for me, as he knew it was what I wanted to do, and was best for the babies. But I don't think he had any opinions beyond that, (that he voiced to me, anyway).

YABVVU to think it has anything to do with you. My DH expressed a similar opinion at around a year. You're lucky your DW is still able to speak civilly to you, I barely was.

If she's like to breastfeed at work there are good pumps now that are much easier to use and work at the same time - depending on the job of course

YABU - she should breastfeed as long as she and little one wants to! Their immune system isn’t fully developed for a number of years so it still has benefits. WHO support it!

I continued to bf both my DCs for a year after I returned to work. I did. None of this ‘we’ nonsense.

It's one of those subjects where your opinion can indeed be expressed, duly noted - and then completely ignored, as whilst it's your opinion, it certainly isn't your decision in any shape or form, whether you think she shouldn't do it at all, stop after six weeks, six months or four years.

She and the child will decide it. Your job is to accept it and support whatever is decided without a single 'I told you so' or 'Well, I think that...'.