To feel scared for my only child

[TrentonFulch]

My DS 4y/o is lovely, has friends at nursery, we as parents have stable jobs, friends, relatively normal lives. But I'm frightened that our only will be a lonely person because we grew up with siblings and cousins and regular family gatherings but he hasn't got those people. I have no idea how to navigate his life and I feel so incredibly guilty. Will he be okay? What if he's not?

Hello OP I understand what you're going through! I think every mum of an only child faces thoughts like these. Personally, I am trying to act as my son is not an only child. He has to share his things with friends, we have enrolled him into many activities, we invite kids over (I know pandemic has created huge problems with this) and he has to share his toys to play, we let him go to his friend's houses and play. Finally, and I know it sounds harsh, but we avoid making him feel like the center of the world (even though he is the center of my world). Now, he has his friends, he is quite social and friendly and kind with his peers. But it takes a lot of efford from my DH's and my part, not to give in to every wish.

Organise plenty of play dates and take him to sports or holiday clubs so he can play with other children. I’m sure he’ll be fine. Not everyone has close bonds with their siblings (some don’t even get on with their siblings), especially if there’s a fairly large age gap. Siblings have their different hobbies and set of friends.

I sometimes have the same feelings but I cant bear to have another child

He'll be ok. I'm sure he'll grow up and meet someone and more that likely grow his own family and have close friends and work colleagues. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, try to focus on the fact you can give him all your undivided love and devotion. Boys really benefit from closeness to their mums in early years. Through your love and gentle nurturing you get the chance to raise him into the best man he can be. A man who'll feel confident, secure and happy. And that way, you'll always be able to guarantee he is popular and never alone . Just think, he might have 5 kids of his own one day. You might still have that great big family.