Worst Human being you've ever known?

[thebatman]

After life saving surgery at the start of the year I've been doing some soul searching and re-evaluating a lot in my life, and looking back it astonishes me that I put up with some truly awful people for so long, even when I knew what complete and utter unrepentant shits they were, so, can I ask, who is the worst Human being you have ever known and why?

@Pebbledashery

As in.. He is her father yes but no I don't consider him as her father as a father would not abuse his child and he's dead to her.

Why did you choose him as your child father?

My MIL.

Refused to work and made her husband work away for more money whilst spending his money on fast food, fags and magazines whilst her three kids had barely any scraps to eat. Faked 'psychic' connections to the after life to get out of the council house they were in and into a bigger one. Got into thousands of pounds of debt 4 times and had them written off each time only to run up debt again on things for herself, never for the kids.
Smacked the children until they were black and blue. Is a racist, homophobic, xenophobic cow. Swears at everyone if they cross her path wrongly. Believes the world owes her something and bitches endlessly about everyone if they are successful in life. Cheated on her husband multiple times but rules him with an iron fist and doesn't let him see anyone other than a very selected bunch of (male) friends. She is a nasty, spiteful bully. Doesn't have any friends or really any family who see her. Has tried to smack the grandkids for behaviour. Plays the doting mother/grandmother but is the nastiest, most manipulative person I've ever come across. Threatened to get social services on me when I had a mental breakdown. Lied about being 'physically disabled' with knee problems to the government and then went out every weekend/on holiday walking.

Had 6 grandkids but only sees 4 of them, mine and DH barely exist to her and her husband. In fact me and DH barely exist to her, DH has gone no contact with her because of the shit she put him through in childhood. She's not sent a card or present through to us because 'we don't exist'. Has cut our two kids out because DH once had a conversation with her trying to understand why she behaved how she did to him and she went nuclear.

To be honest most of the awful people I've known have had shocking childhoods so I'm (just about) willing to cut them some slack. That just doesn't justify cutting people slack to me. One of the worst people I know was a family member who sexually abused me as a child. My childhood was therefore traumatic. However that wouldn't justify me doing the same or being abusive, evil or even occasionally horrible to people.

My ex also was very evil. He beat me, nearly killed me, took a wooden slat off the bed to beat me with, sexually abused and raped me constantly. I became pregnant and he still doesn't know he has a child. I was able to move miles away and has to cut many people out of my life for fear of him finding me.

My ex friends were also evil. When I got the courage to tell who I thought was my best friend (for want of a better phrase) about the abuse, she and her boyfriend tried to gaslight me saying he'd never do anything like that (He had a nice guy persona which he fiercely tried to portray and protect). This was upon returning from hospital where I almost died due to the extent of the injuries he caused me.

@Tootsey11

I agree with you totally and have told him many times that he has enabled this behaviour.

How could you allow yourself to be seated at different tables etc?

@hoven
Sorry but that’s really not ok. People change, sometimes beyond recognition. It was not @Pebbledashery’s fault. You are close to victim blaming, which I’m sure you don’t mean.

Same @Sometimesfraught82

I thought the worst person I had ever know was quite a nice guy until he violently killed his wife. So, there you go. I clearly have no psychopath radar.

@WaterOffADucksCrack bloody hell that sounds awful! I’m so so sorry. So glad you got away.

Former boss. She was a complete and utter cnut. She has bullied, manipulated and lied so often, but for some reason none of the numerous complaints against her have had quite enough weight behind them to be upheld.

She isn't particularly bright, and so appointed someone beneath her who is bright, but isn't astute enough to twig what's going on. Between them, they manage to just about cope, but the cracks are starting to show.

She's a nasty piece of work.

Shouldn't be wasting my time on Mumsnet but here goes, my ex, for such unusual reasons that I can't say on here because they're too identifying. I'm not the kind of person to put up with shit men but the law was on his side . The child molesters I've known (I wasn't abused by them), made a million times worse because they come across as nice people. Some hideous people from various workplaces. Two bitchy snobby "beautiful" thin, vacuous cunts. Some of the parents I have had to deal with since becoming a mum. For some injustices, the law is not adequate, I'm not surprised this is a popular thread. to everyone on this thread who's been thru horrendous stuff.

Rejoiningperson Thank you. My life is so much better now. Unfortunately I turned to (mainly) dissociative drugs whilst I was with him (totally accept full responsibility for that, it was my choice to take them). I quit when I found out I was pregnant. My son saved my life.

I know have a career in care, I feel like I make a difference to the elderly people I look after. I have a brilliant partner and wonderful amazing children and I am now a much stronger person.

There is always hope in any situation which has been a very valuable life lesson.

@Sometimesfraught82, it wasn't worth the argument to try and take a seat at the same table. I did at the start but then the tantrums started, refusing to eat, bottom lip pushed out, crying, i don't want her here or I'm phoning mummy. Mummy then told Dp to do as he was told. This continued for years.

Then it turned abusive, verbal and physical. Dp has pulled back a lot but her mother still is the same. Dp will be told that she's been 'a good girl' so has been 'rewarded' with a new pair of boots at £120. She will send a text to him saying 'I made a phonecall today by myself' and he replies well done, he tells me she's trying, then 24hrs later gets up to 100 texts of verbal abuse calling him everything imaginable.

She is a truly vile human being, but they have and continue to enable her to keep on doing what she doing without a single consequence for her actions.

[quote Tootsey11]@Sometimesfraught82, it wasn't worth the argument to try and take a seat at the same table. I did at the start but then the tantrums started, refusing to eat, bottom lip pushed out, crying, i don't want her here or I'm phoning mummy. Mummy then told Dp to do as he was told. This continued for years.

Then it turned abusive, verbal and physical. Dp has pulled back a lot but her mother still is the same. Dp will be told that she's been 'a good girl' so has been 'rewarded' with a new pair of boots at £120. She will send a text to him saying 'I made a phonecall today by myself' and he replies well done, he tells me she's trying, then 24hrs later gets up to 100 texts of verbal abuse calling him everything imaginable.

She is a truly vile human being, but they have and continue to enable her to keep on doing what she doing without a single consequence for her actions.[/quote]
Yes
It was “worth the argument”
Absolutely
And should have been had the very first whiff of this

It says a lot that you didn’t think it was worth the argument. How is your self esteem?

1. An old colleague I used to work with. Viscious and two faced woman. Sickly sweet to everyone to their faces, vile behind their backs. Always had a cult following and I imagine she still does.
2. An old boss. Selfish, a narcissist and the ultimate gaslighter. Immature, deeply cowardly and a hypocrite.

Both these people were very successful personally but absolutely vile the pair of them.

professionally. I meant to say.

A woman who was brought in to lead my division at work. She was a psychopath - the kind of person you could imagine killing someone and not feeling one iota of remorse.

She prided herself on being ruthless and boasted of the time she sacked someone on her first day in a previous role. She lied and humiliated people and really enjoyed it. The first email I received from her was a telling off and that set the tone for our whole relationship. Fortunately she left when I went on maternity leave (a year earlier than expected, I think because another senior member of staff was forced out because of her and was taking legal action). Not before humiliating my lovely boss and forcing her out of the organisation. Which was really sad as it was her last job before retiring and she was a proud person who was devastated to have her reputation trashed and had integrity questioned at the end of her career.

@LemonSherbetFancies and others. I find it a bit terrifying when people are really nice, popular but really awful behind the scenes.

My Ex is kind of like this. Outwardly the most kind, pleasant lovely man. Always helping people out. Well respected. Well known in the community. Actually a serial philanderer with 100s of women whilst we had a baby. I think there’s something seriously wrong with people who do this! Like they get off on the power of the lie.

Knew a woman like this too. In everyone’s face commanding attention. Had to be attended too always and she was very good looking, so usually did have this. Her husband still doesn’t know that she had multiple affairs and that the laughed about doing it to everyone. Had hissy fits if a hairdresser wasn’t 1000%. Treats her family like a cash bucket. Has 1000s of followers though. Don’t get it!

[quote RickOShay]@hoven
Sorry but that’s really not ok. People change, sometimes beyond recognition. It was not @Pebbledashery’s fault. You are close to victim blaming, which I’m sure you don’t mean.[/quote]
This is not victim blaming it's a genuine question. Abusers are the scum of the earth and they are responsible for everything they inflict on others hands down. However I've always wondered why people have kids with horrible people. Was there any foresight into what you were bringing a child into?

Because nobody has a crystal ball?
Because they have low self esteem and poor boundaries?
Because they have been ground down?
Because they were raped?
Because they don’t see they have choices?
Because they are trapped?
Because they have nowhere else to go and no one to go to?

@hoven Men who are abusive do it gradually. The abuse only starts when the woman is going to find it hard to leave emotionally, financially or both. It also happens in small stages.

Most abuse starts when the woman is pregnant.

My self esteem is fine, never had a problem there.

I was told it wasn't my place to tell them how to parent their 'child'.

I still give my opinion though, whether he likes it or not. He has just got back from his fortnightly visit with her. She 'behaved' today. No kicking doors, no swearing, no lifting a knife and fighting him with it.

He spent the day placating her, walking on eggshells in case he set her off. We've just had a row with me trying to explain that this is not a normal way to have to be around your own 'child'.

[quote Rejoiningperson]@hoven Men who are abusive do it gradually. The abuse only starts when the woman is going to find it hard to leave emotionally, financially or both. It also happens in small stages.

Most abuse starts when the woman is pregnant.[/quote]
So sad that this starts when a woman is vulnerable. What horrible people

So, so many. I seem to attract them & realise it's made me both extremely astute with people & very guarded.

A supposedly good friend of over 20 years who secretly hated me. I'd helped he a lot over the years including training & employing her against my better judgement. Pushed DH & i together & then drunkenly told me when I was 6 months pregnant that he was her back up incase her current relationship when wrong & she wanted him back now. Naively I brushed off as drunk talk, but it got worse. She tried to sabotage my wedding by "accidentally" dropping the cake. Another friend actually dived & caught it & repaired it before I saw it at the reception. DH later told me she'd made a serious pass at him that day & she tried her best to wind us up to argue by throwing herself at him all night, even pushing me out of the way to sit between us. I went through a sex discrimination & constructive dismissal case & turned out she was the only witness against me & had been sabotaging my work for months. She was dropped by us both & she's actually approached DH at events & tried to rekindle friendship. No apology though, apparently it's time I "got over myself" toxic, manipulative & narcissistic & not dealing well with getting older & im told really peed off that I didn't get fat after having DD

Brother, where to even start, but golden balls also despises me & this came to a head a few years ago & he finally owned up & gloated to destroying my relationship with mum. Lying, manipulating. Very narcissistic, though mum was too & I was always scapegoat when I wasn't back looking after him. I helped him a lot when he took ill & was about to be homeless. I was very ill myself & the stress of DB fighting with DH who was giving him money to pay a mortgage he wasn't paying, was destroying me, but I got him benefits & got him rehoused. Once settled he set about stirring up trouble with Dad, told him that DD had cancer & I was keeping it from him & DF who is also very volatile & can be abusive & was as kids believed him over me & stopped speaking to me for months. I went through cancer testing with my own DD at the same time my friend did with her DD. Mine didn't have cancer but something else. Friends DD died. DB knew this, yet still thought this was an okay lie. When I tackled him over it & asked him to tell dad the truth, he initially blamed dad & feigned worry that he was senile. After a while he not only owned up to it, he gloated & owned up to being behind many, many upsetting & baffling fights with my mum. I had a very successful career, DM said I was actually a prostitute & that's how I made my money. Kicked off that I could afford handbags for several thousand pounds, which I didn't have, but she refused to believe. The weirdest rows that left me reeling time & again. He gloated that he stirred up every one of those puzzling fights. DM knew in the end who was there for her & it wasn't him & she apologised just before we lost her.DB went no contact when he won a load of money. Though is back bugging dad again & telling dad he's having urgent cancer tests.his number has called me too, but missed call. It's a horrible place to be where he's still my little brother & I was brought up to put him first, but he is an evil, evil man who only thinks of himself. A good example was my asking why he thought it okay to have our severely disabled mum do his washing & pay his mortgage.... he thought it made her feel needed & he was doing her a favour so much more, I could write a bloody book on that family triangle & I still feel uncomfortable with extended family as I don't know what lies they were told about me

DB fighting with my DF, not my DH

[quote Time40]@Waterfallgirl - Oh dear, I really didn't mean to start a guessing game. I ought to have known this would happen; I am an idiot. I wish I'd never given a clue to her name now.

Neither of the two mentioned above. She's only a tiny bit famous - very much a D-list celebrity of the literary world. Lots of small-press work published, and just the one novel out with a major publisher, published around ten years ago. Does a lot of teaching of writing. I daren't say another word![/quote]
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