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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worst Human being you've ever known?

481 replies

thebatman · 05/06/2021 11:58

After life saving surgery at the start of the year I've been doing some soul searching and re-evaluating a lot in my life, and looking back it astonishes me that I put up with some truly awful people for so long, even when I knew what complete and utter unrepentant shits they were, so, can I ask, who is the worst Human being you have ever known and why?

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 07/06/2021 22:44

Penny Vincenzi?

Waterfallgirl · 07/06/2021 23:01

@Time40

I can only think of Victoria Hislop 🤔

Ruminating2020 · 08/06/2021 00:30

Veronica Roth for the author?

Time40 · 08/06/2021 10:20

@Waterfallgirl - Oh dear, I really didn't mean to start a guessing game. I ought to have known this would happen; I am an idiot. I wish I'd never given a clue to her name now.

Neither of the two mentioned above. She's only a tiny bit famous - very much a D-list celebrity of the literary world. Lots of small-press work published, and just the one novel out with a major publisher, published around ten years ago. Does a lot of teaching of writing. I daren't say another word!

WinterRose92 · 08/06/2021 11:05

My FIL and his wife (other woman) Lies so much that I think he really believes what he is saying. Treated MIL appallingly after an affair, said and did evil stuff to her and left her with three kids to deal with. Went off with his new family (other women who is a completely manipulative bitch - they deserve each other) but got insanely jealous when MIL eventually started to get on with her life and met another man though he destroyed any confidence she had in men, really.
He was never there for his kids, my partner has real issues from it all to this day. He floats in and out of our lives when he pleases which I hate. If it were up to me I’d cut him and her off & out of our children’s lives but it’s not my choice unfortunately. I hate to see the way my partner is treated by him but still feels a need to keep up a relationship with him because ‘he’s his dad’. No excuse to treat him like shit though, is it?
They have caused nothing but trouble and problems for the whole family over the years and don’t like the fact that I now call them out on their shit so they’ve tried to make me out to be a crazy, nasty bitch. They’ve made up lies about me and have been awful. They are always the victims. A lot of family don’t bother with them anymore. When it comes to that you have to take a step back & wonder what is you’re doing wrong but no, they’re the victims and everyone is being mean to them 🙄
They both try and act like kind members of society who would do anything for anyone (& conveniently forget past events, things they’ve said and done) I know what they really are. And I know they are miserable together but stay together for sake of appearances - I’d say that’s karma!
There is so much I could tell you all but I don’t have the time!
Phew! That felt good to get off my chest, thanks! 😂

LeopardHawk · 08/06/2021 11:06

@NoraEphronsNeck

This sounds exactly like a couple I know. Horrible people in every way. And huge social climbers hmm

Sadly I suspect there are probably a lot of bastards like them around. The worst of it (in a way) is that my sister sees herself as a very good, ethical person. She is completely up her own arse and has no conscience about any of it. She believes he was wrongly accused (and that the lawyer lied about him not paying the fees, that my parents were horrible to him first, etc. etc. - it's always someone else's fault). She lives in a fucking fantasy world. Even when he's turned his nastiness on to her, she only sees it in terms of how bad a time SHE is having - she has no twinges of conscience or remorse about the terrible pain and trauma he has caused to so many people, both inside and outside our family.

On a happier note, I love your username :) Huge N.E. fan.

Ijsbear · 08/06/2021 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

contrary13 · 08/06/2021 11:58

I've met a few over my 40-odd years of life...

When I was in senior school, my parents had to finally intervene and complain about the deputy head who had targeted me for having the audacity to correct him about the reasons as to why English Armed Forces were deployed into NI - and about the fact that he was trying to groom his students to support the IRA... (I went to a RC school, and am an Army Brat whose parents were both deployed to NI at the height of "the troubles". I also understand the history of the conflict). After that, he'd make snide comments about me if he passed me in a corridor, or single me out for verbal abuse if he had to sub one of our RE classes - despite supposedly being forbidden to go anywhere near me. When I applied for the 6th form attached to the school, for who-knows-what reason he was the one who interviewed me (with another teacher present, whom I'd asked for). He essentially told me that I was "too stupid" to do 'A'-levels, was "only capable" of doing a BTEC (which were just being rolled out across the UK at the time as an alternative for those who were in lower sets/had SEN at schools - now, they're great, but back then? Not so much!), and ought to "stop wasting the school's resources" by continuing to attend. Again, my parents intervened. This time, he stayed absolutely clear of me, so I dread to think what our matriarch of a headteacher said to him.

Then there's the family member who sexually assaulted me as a 7 year old, blamed me when confronted by his mother (who was the only adult I ever told about it at the time), lied to my father's face, turned their other brother completely against me to the point where he's been known to totally blank me and sneer about how I had my oldest out of wedlock, as a terrified 19-year-old. When my uncle was on his death-bed, I finally told my father what had happened (I snapped when my father kept going on about what a good man his "baby brother" was...), got a blank look and then: "I don't believe you. [X] would never do something like that to you...!". Except, he did. The other brother still pretends that I and my children (both illegitimate) simply don't exist, and says it's because I wasn't married when I had either one of them (he's not religious in the slightest!). I have to confess to laughing myself sick when it turned out that both of his children... have children "out of wedlock". Because of my uncles, though, I have no relationship with their children whatsoever. When my grandmother died, the oldest son of the uncle who abused me threatened to kill me if I showed up at her funeral. So... yeah. They're pretty horrific people, too.

My so-called-childhood-best-friend who picked me up and put me down according to her mood. However, that's not why she's horrific. She's horrific because she broke her 3 month old son's femur - leaving him with a permanent limp, as she then refused to seek medical treatment. I know what she did, because when he was a toddler, and the limp became noticeable, I asked what was up. Had he sprained his ankle, or twisted his knee...? She laughed about what she'd done to him. This was someone who was my oldest's Godmother. Needless to say, we're not friends anymore. SS did investigate her son, when it was flagged by a GP - and she and her oldest spent a lot of time in a mother-and-baby unit as a result. But presumably, as she has two younger children, and full custody of her oldest, the case was closed.

My oldest's biological "father". He was abusive in every which way you can imagine - got me to give him money for his "rent" (which I later found out he didn't pay to his parents...), beat me, raped me, whittled away my self-esteem, and isolated me to the point that I had one friend who stood by me during my entire pregnancy (I found out after I'd left him and was given absolutely the wrong information concerning how far along I was, so ended up becoming a mother). During the pregnancy (which my parents informed him/his family about), he'd call and threaten me. After my daughter was born, he faked being interested in seeing her (which I was never happy about, but out-voted) until he realised that I was beyond being able to abuse anymore. He kept showing me naked photographs of his then-girlfriend when I was 2 weeks post-partum... and threw a tantrum in the street when I said "...so?!" and asked him if she knew he was showing me what she looked like naked, because I'd be more than happy to tell her. To the best of my knowledge, he's not seen my daughter since she was 3 weeks old (and she turns 25 in a few weeks). His parents and sister, too, were nasty pieces of work. Stalked my daughter through college, when she said she wanted nothing to do with her, leaving her terrified of being outside the house alone. And I suspect his father was inappropriate with her, although I can't prove that, and my daughter claims not to remember - having suddenly, at the age of 7, randomly decided to have nothing more to do with any of them. Every now and then the sister will pop up, essentially blaming me for keeping them apart, and "now [daughter]'s an adult..." they can resume contact - so either they're ignorant of the fact that it was my daughter's choice to drop them (much to my relief, as it happens), or arrogant enough to believe that I instigated it (which I'd always semi-trusted them not to hurt her, so left it entirely up her as to if/when she had contact with them). I used to be on "high-alert" whenever she was with them, though, so obviously I subconsciously knew something was going on. The apple seemingly didn't fall too far from the tree - or its fellow fruit...

At the end of the day, though - I've rebuilt my life, my self-esteem, my entire life. They can't hurt me anymore. I worry about my daughter slipping back into her paternal family's grasp... but she's an adult. She has to make her own choices. And generally? I'm pretty content as a person now, with a fabulous relationship with all of the friends who my abusive ex did his utmost to isolate me from (they came flocking when they realised he was gone/I was alone with a new baby). So, very often, there is hope.

NoraEphronsNeck · 08/06/2021 13:33

[quote LeopardHawk]@NoraEphronsNeck

This sounds exactly like a couple I know. Horrible people in every way. And huge social climbers hmm

Sadly I suspect there are probably a lot of bastards like them around. The worst of it (in a way) is that my sister sees herself as a very good, ethical person. She is completely up her own arse and has no conscience about any of it. She believes he was wrongly accused (and that the lawyer lied about him not paying the fees, that my parents were horrible to him first, etc. etc. - it's always someone else's fault). She lives in a fucking fantasy world. Even when he's turned his nastiness on to her, she only sees it in terms of how bad a time SHE is having - she has no twinges of conscience or remorse about the terrible pain and trauma he has caused to so many people, both inside and outside our family.

On a happier note, I love your username :) Huge N.E. fan.[/quote]
Thank you Grin

Waterfallgirl · 08/06/2021 13:46

@Time40
Sorry I was being a bit naughty there 😬

thebatman · 08/06/2021 14:16

Some of these stories are absolutely horrific, apologies for reopening old wounds for you lovely people by starting this thread, though it does seem to have been cathartic for some, maybe we should balance things out with a "best Human being you've ever known" thread.

OP posts:
Orgasmagorical · 08/06/2021 15:34

I think there was one a few days ago, thebatman. I think this thread has been quite cathartic and if anyone can avoid similar people or situations because of something they've read here it's all worth it.

At the end of the day, though - I've rebuilt my life, my self-esteem, my entire life. They can't hurt me anymore. I worry about my daughter slipping back into her paternal family's grasp... but she's an adult. She has to make her own choices. And generally? I'm pretty content as a person now, with a fabulous relationship with all of the friends who my abusive ex did his utmost to isolate me from (they came flocking when they realised he was gone/I was alone with a new baby). So, very often, there is hope.

That is so good to hear after your previous paragraphs, Contrary SmileFlowers

NoraEphronsNeck · 08/06/2021 17:33

Contrary13 Thanks

CloudofRain · 08/06/2021 18:23

DDs old headteacher.

She started a disciplinary process with some children and then hung us out to dry when their parents (quite privileged parents within the school) kicked up a fuss. Promised she would do all sorts of things she didn’t. Had every excuse under the sun why she couldn’t enact her behaviour policy. Put our DD at significant risk.

DD had to leave her school midway through y6 as the situation was untenable. She left her dance too as the same families were there. The whole thing was such an awful experience. Nearly 4 years on we are still quite shaken by it all.

strawberrysalsa · 08/06/2021 19:06

My youngest son's first dad...he is adopted (my son, not the dad). His dad was an evil b**tard and I would happily disembowl him a blunt spoon...I want to make sure he suffers for as long as possible.
It's 16 years since my youngest came to us and he still has nightmares about his first dad. Given his dad had already been to prison for being a paedophile before my youngest was born I am still angry that Social Services left him to be tortured for 6 years before he finally got out.
Flowers for everyone who has survived all the sh*t life can throw out. You are all amazing!

yan79 · 08/06/2021 19:35

The worst human being I know is my ex husband. Not only the way he’s treated me but for the way he’s neglected himself, his family, all of his previous partners, his 4 children (two to a marriage previous to ours) and two of his grandchildren.
He’s a manipulative, lying, bullying twat who blames the whole world for his problems.

VioletBlanche · 08/06/2021 19:58

My bio father. Awful, awful human being. Raped my mother, hit her, sweared at her and called her useless and stupid. He was so nasty. He took her beloved family heirlooms to the dump as punishment like @Headlesschick and @viques. He would stamp on my toys when angry, take my favourite toys of my bed and to the dump when I was little. He liked to say "Women belong barefoot and pregnant" and then disowned me when I didn't become a DOCTOR! Jesus

newnortherner111 · 08/06/2021 20:07

I have fortunately not had anything approaching the horrors that many of you have described. The worst was a neighbour who moved to our street when he retired, having been a senior architect at the council.

Disowned and had hidden away in an institution his son, a child with special needs (it was over ten years before we came to know of his existence, up till then thought he just had two daughters). Bored out of his skull he took to doing things seemingly purposely to annoy, such as lawn mowing about two minutes after the large family next door would go out in their garden.

He'd been a golfer but upon retirement all his golf 'buddies; drifted away (my suspicion was they did so to hopefully get planning decisions so of no purpose once he'd retired). He upset all the children by his manner and talked down to everyone, including his wife.

After his wife died he went into a home in later life. My mum went to visit someone else in the same home and noticed he never had visitors, not even his daughters and if he had any, grandchildren. In a way, seemed justice.

Tootsey11 · 08/06/2021 20:25

Dp's daughter.

Where to start, I've known her for 21 years. As his partner I wasn't allowed to sit at the same table as them when we ate out because she said so. I wasn't allowed to stay in the same bnb or hotel if we all went away together. I had to make a separate booking and stay elsewhere then meet up. If I did attempt to speak up she would ring her mother with a pack of lies crying and screaming. I was told I had no say in anything.

From this to the demands for ponies to cash, new clothes every week, £100 shoes. She was given everything she asked. She had no respect for anyone.

Roll on to now, at age 30. Doesn't work. Won't lift a finger in her rental home. Won't make a appointment for anything, mummy or daddy has to do it. Won't put oil in her own tank for heating, won't pay for her mot on her car that was bought for her. Will stand and scream in public if she doesn't get her way or what she wants. She has threatened her family including Dp with knives if they don't oblige her. The police are very often at her door.

She has perfected manipulation. She be's a 'good girl' to get what she wants then reverts to her old ways. She openly admits stealing from shops even though she gets everything paid for her through benefits and handouts, and will steal from family members if she gets the chance. She will not spend her money on the normal things like bills and food. Her money is for' fun'. Mummy and daddy had me so they can pay for me.

All day every day is spent on her phone. She won't wash her own dishes, she won't take her own bins out, she won't collect her own post out of the post box on her own front door.

Dp has been near suicidal with her, it has put that much strain on him.

Myrighteyeball · 09/06/2021 02:33

A former colleague who was a sociopath or at least a narcissist. Bullied, white-anted, needled, manipulated, gossiped, was bitingly rude all the time. Took delight in upsetting others. Had to be right all the time and was volcanic if crossed or even questioned. I was on edge all the time around him. I worked with him for 12 years, and it seriously affected my mental health in the end. I left my job (at which I was very good) in part because of him.

In the end, leaving that job was a good thing and I have a great business with lots of flexibility. And he died before he turned 40. I felt happy when when I found out that he died young - and then the fact that I felt happy made me think I was a terrible person. I had to have a couple of counselling sessions in the end to move past it.

Sometimesfraught82 · 09/06/2021 07:42

@Tootsey11

Dp's daughter.

Where to start, I've known her for 21 years. As his partner I wasn't allowed to sit at the same table as them when we ate out because she said so. I wasn't allowed to stay in the same bnb or hotel if we all went away together. I had to make a separate booking and stay elsewhere then meet up. If I did attempt to speak up she would ring her mother with a pack of lies crying and screaming. I was told I had no say in anything.

From this to the demands for ponies to cash, new clothes every week, £100 shoes. She was given everything she asked. She had no respect for anyone.

Roll on to now, at age 30. Doesn't work. Won't lift a finger in her rental home. Won't make a appointment for anything, mummy or daddy has to do it. Won't put oil in her own tank for heating, won't pay for her mot on her car that was bought for her. Will stand and scream in public if she doesn't get her way or what she wants. She has threatened her family including Dp with knives if they don't oblige her. The police are very often at her door.

She has perfected manipulation. She be's a 'good girl' to get what she wants then reverts to her old ways. She openly admits stealing from shops even though she gets everything paid for her through benefits and handouts, and will steal from family members if she gets the chance. She will not spend her money on the normal things like bills and food. Her money is for' fun'. Mummy and daddy had me so they can pay for me.

All day every day is spent on her phone. She won't wash her own dishes, she won't take her own bins out, she won't collect her own post out of the post box on her own front door.

Dp has been near suicidal with her, it has put that much strain on him.

I don’t know where to begin.

Your DP is no better than his daughter for allowing this.

Tootsey11 · 09/06/2021 08:34

I agree with you totally and have told him many times that he has enabled this behaviour.

MaryTheMiddle · 09/06/2021 08:40

@Tootsey11, that's horrendous. How could the man who is supposed to love you make you sit at separate tables from him in restaurants because a child told him to? That's terrible and I'm honestly wondering about your self worth that you're still with him. Has he got something else going for him, because his treatment of you is appalling? His DD owes you nothing, (she doesn't sound like she's doing herself or her parents any favours either, but that's another issue). Your dp is the one who really owes you something; he is supposed to support and care for his DP. That is not on Flowers

Juneisjoyful · 09/06/2021 10:36

Used to think possibly the sf of an old friend. He had a caretaker's job in a school. Turns out he was abusing his gf's dd's...
Then I changed my mind that she was worse because apparently she knew...
Had words with him so she did but didn't want to lose him.

Crazycakelady17 · 09/06/2021 12:21

My biological father who sexually abused me and my sister from the ages of 3-6 sick man

But worse is the stepfather who worked his way in beating and controlling my mum who sexually abused and raped me from the age of 11-17 evil sick twisted man who loved the control and fear
I got married at 18 and got out of that house

I suffer with severe mental illness now down to those evil men who were supposed to protect me I took the stepfather to court a few years ago got not guilty another kick in the teeth but least I can say I tried

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