Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Come Hither to Discuss Something Morbid

127 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 04/06/2021 16:09

Please don’t bother with this is you’re offended by musings of the morbid kind. I know some people are. It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

If I were to die randomly now, at 25 weeks pregnant, what would they do with my baby? Say I was in a car accident, and was declared brain dead in hospital, would they just keep me alive to grow the baby for longer, then deliver it and give it to my husband, or would that raise all sorts of ethical questions and just be very Gilead? Would he make the final call or would they go ahead and think well we will try to save the baby? Would the baby survive if I was brain dead? And obviously I’d have to stay technically ‘there’ but dead just to keep the baby alive. Which would be horrible. A soap opera must have done this as a storyline at some point. I think there was something like it in the Handmsid’s Tale?

There’s nothing wrong with me I promise. I do just enjoy thinking about morbid things. Like wondering if a chopped off head knows it’s been chopped off, and thinking of all the skeletons behind the walls of Bank tube station. I’ve got some beautiful taxidermy at home because I just like the fact that it’s a thing that was once alive and I can give it a nice home even though it’s dead Blush

I’m sure there are others that have morbid wonderings too.

OP posts:
LongDuckDong · 04/06/2021 16:14

I think there is a lot of if's and but's with this, however something along the lines of....

If you were already dead (cold) then the baby will have died.

If you have no pulse they would try to resuscitate you and probably keep going until you were in hospital where they would be able to keep you going long enough to do an emergency c section and deliver the baby at 25 weeks. You would then be allowed to die/donate organs etc. Baby would go to NICU. I think babies under 24 weeks are not considered viable.

Marcipex · 04/06/2021 16:14

I think they’d keep you on life support to grow the baby, then a C section, then you can donate your organs and go 😀

Zarene · 04/06/2021 16:17

No idea, but fascinating question.

idontlikealdi · 04/06/2021 16:18

If they can they keep you on life support and deliver via c section when viable which is above 24 weeks. I wonder if there's a 'code of conduct' type thing around keeping women alive longer to deliver the baby later and give it a better chance of survival.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/06/2021 16:18

Can a victim of the Guillotine look up out of the basket and see the sky?

In the pregnancy scenario women have been kept on life support in various countries but I can't see a case from the U.K. l may not be looking hard enough though.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 04/06/2021 16:19

Thanks, that’s what I was wondering- If the baby is only 25 weeks it’s obviously better off being in for a bit longer, to give it a better chance of living, so would they keep me going just for that purpose or just get on with getting it out now and hope for the best? But keeping someone alive just to be an oven seems morally wrong.

OP posts:
Temp023 · 04/06/2021 16:19

You would actually become the mindless baby growing machine that a lot of people believe a woma already is..

Hfjshdhs · 04/06/2021 16:25

I’ve been watching re runs of ER recently and they seem to keep people in life support and then perform an ELCS when they can (obviously not real life).

InsanityRocks · 04/06/2021 16:27

My friend died when she was 26 weeks pregnant. I'm not sure if it would have been possible to keep her on life support to grow the baby, but it wasn't attempted. They did try to deliver the baby but she didn't survive.

WeWantAMackerelNotASprat · 04/06/2021 16:27

Surely the baby would be given to your husband, if he's the biological father! I wouldn't have thought that would be in question? Or am I simplifying things

ConstanceGracy · 04/06/2021 16:28

Oh I like you .. right on my wavelength

SmidgenofaPigeon · 04/06/2021 16:29

@WeWantAMackerelNotASprat yes I mean obviously he’d take the baby Grin but I mean would he have any say- like please try and deliver it now so my wife can die in peace or, no I want to give it the best chance, leave it for a few weeks.

So sorry to hear that @InsanityRocks

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 04/06/2021 16:32

@Hfjshdhs

I’ve been watching re runs of ER recently and they seem to keep people in life support and then perform an ELCS when they can (obviously not real life).
This was also a storyline in Eastenders.
finallymightbehappening · 04/06/2021 16:33

A friend of my dad's wife was badly burned from petrol thrown on a bbq. She was kept alive for weeks in a coma until she delivered her son. He would be an adult now.

FelicityBeedle · 04/06/2021 16:34

Going one further if an unmarried woman is in this situation, the baby survives and is obviously not her partner’s. If the partner wanted the baby would he be allowed it?

Chiwi · 04/06/2021 16:34

I think things similar to this have happened in real life. Radio 4 do a series called inside the ethics committee, there is a reasonably old episode about a pregnant woman on life support. It's a great program that discusses the ethics in real medical cases.

Blossomtoes · 04/06/2021 16:34

But keeping someone alive just to be an oven seems morally wrong

More morally wrong than allowing a healthy baby to die if it could be saved? You’re right, it’s a really interesting dilemma.

AryaStarkWolf · 04/06/2021 16:36

I think I'd like to be kept alive so my baby could have a chance at life (assuming my DH was up for being a single dad etc)

SmidgenofaPigeon · 04/06/2021 16:37

And if you were religious (I’m not) you’d possibly want the baby to be with you in the afterlife? But that means the baby would have to die where it could have been saved. If you believed in heaven would you want your baby with you there or leave it on earth?

OP posts:
justfuckoffthelottayer · 04/06/2021 16:38

Ok can some people in the know answer these questions I now need to know. Consultants/nurses do you have to judge each situation individually and dependent on injuries etc or is there actually a policy on this. Lawyers/social workers what about the single mum dies scenario would her family get baby or blood father or would it go into care until assessments are made?

purplesequins · 04/06/2021 16:39

if you were braindead your body would actually start to disintegrate from that point onwards.
you would only be kept on life support to buy time for a well developed fetus.
at 25 week I guess you would be buried with baby.
watched too much 'bones'

DowntownFrown · 04/06/2021 16:39

There was a case in Ireland where the mother was kept alive until the baby could be delivered but it was awful for the family because she was never going to wake up and her body started to deteriorate whilst they basically kept her as an incubator.
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/family-brain-dead-pregnant-woman-20924669.amp

AryaStarkWolf · 04/06/2021 16:39

@SmidgenofaPigeon

And if you were religious (I’m not) you’d possibly want the baby to be with you in the afterlife? But that means the baby would have to die where it could have been saved. If you believed in heaven would you want your baby with you there or leave it on earth?
Personally not religious at all so i would think (actually I wouldn't think anything because I'd be brain dead but you know ..........) that it would be the babies only chance to live
Ineedtosleeptoo · 04/06/2021 16:40

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Thanks, that’s what I was wondering- If the baby is only 25 weeks it’s obviously better off being in for a bit longer, to give it a better chance of living, so would they keep me going just for that purpose or just get on with getting it out now and hope for the best? But keeping someone alive just to be an oven seems morally wrong.
If all hope was lost for me, but they could keep my body alive for the baby to have a chance, then I'd want them to do it. Obviously if I were brain dead I couldn't be asked...... so I'd have to hope whoever had the responsibility knew my wishes.

I'm not sure what I'd decide if I were to need to make the decision for someone else though, unless they'd expressed their wishes in advance.

LadyFlossieParkingson · 04/06/2021 16:42

Interesting

Re religion- I am religious and practicing catholic
I would want the babies life preserved and would expect the medical team to do all theu could to save baby if i was absolutely not going to survive Sad