Whose child is the weird one?

[CousinQuandary]

I’m staying with DSis. Her DD(8) has the world’s biggest collection of Playmobil, beautifully laid out all round her room. She does play with it, but it’s always kept very neat.
My DD(5) has pulled the heads off the flowers. She also pulled the leaves off the trees and put them in the Playmobil swimming pool.
DSis thinks this is really strange behaviour - to dismantle things rather than playing with them in the way they were intended.
I think my DD is normal and it’s her DD’s obsessive tidiness that is abnormal. AIBU?

Neither of them are weird, they're just different.

Neither child is odd. Just different.

I think one of them is 5 and the other is 8!

Both totally normal

Here we tend towards chaos with anything like that ...

Why does one have to be weird? Children are different to each other, like adults.

Both normal. Also there's a big difference between how a 5yo plays and how an 8yo plays.

Both are normal - you are both being unreasonable.

Both normal, just different and I’d manage playtime carefully so neither got pissed off

But the flower thing would annoy me if it was my garden

Wow.

Wanton destruction is not normal.

Playing with toys and moving them around, normal.

Purposefully breaking something, eg ripping off flowers. Particularly if it’s clearly a special toy. Not normal

Cant believe you're arguing with your sister about who has the weirdo kid
Both normal but different child behaviour

8 year olds play is more structured and methodical 5 year olds play is more exploratory and experimental.
Both normal neither are ‘weird.’

I think they are both normal, but you do need to start teaching your daughter not to purposefully damage things. Most people would not be happy to see flowers with their heads ripped off.

Are the leaves and flower heads designed to come off and be put back on? Sorry not that familiar with Playmobile. If they're designed to be removed and replaced (like with the Lego flowers) neither is being weird. If your DD(5) is actually damaging the other one's property, yes that's odd.

Neither are weird but there's an age gap so can't really compare them anyway. I think young kids do probably break stuff but it's your job to tell her no. It's not ok for her to ruin her cousin's toys.

@Dishwashersaurous

Wow.

Wanton destruction is not normal.

Playing with toys and moving them around, normal.

Purposefully breaking something, eg ripping off flowers. Particularly if it’s clearly a special toy. Not normal

He's 5. Have you ever met a five year old? This is completely normal. It's also not "wanton destruction" - how melodramatic!

I remember saying to DD when she was about 8 that she could remake her Lego as I'd kept the instructions - in all seriousness she said as the piece I suggested for x wasn't purple (as per instructions) she couldn't

Well 5 and 8 are very different ages.

Using things as intended and being today is fine.
Seeing alternative uses for things is fine.

But if she's breaking the toys so DN then can't play with them it's not ok and wouldn't be excused by "well you're kids is worse 8".

I agree with the above comments about different styles of play.

Also, I’m slightly surprised that your dc pulled the flowers and trees apart. As the poster above said, are they meant to be dismantled? If I was the 8 year old, I’d be a bit annoyed that a five year was destroying my nicely laid out playmobil figures.

Both normal play skills vary enormously between a five and an eight year old.

@Aprilx

I think they are both normal, but you do need to start teaching your daughter not to purposefully damage things. Most people would not be happy to see flowers with their heads ripped off.

This ^^

And what other PPs have said , 5 year olds and 8 year olds play very differently as do individual children

What stands out from your post is that there is implicit criticism feom both you and DSis about each of your respective children, please don't start labelling your sibling's DCs

If Dsis has a highly organised playing 8 year old and you have an inventive free rolling 5 year old, fab!! Maybe you should supervise them when playing together as they each have different styles and age groups - but please celebrate who each of them are 🥰 without letting either of you label your niece or nephews apiece. It could accidentally descend into competence parenting which you don't want between siblings

Thanks for the replies.

We’re not really accusing each other’s kids of being weirdos, although we do both genuinely think the other’s daughter is outside the norm.
The Playmobil flowers are made to come apart and go back together - I’d totally agree it was wrong if my 5yo was actually breaking her cousin’s toys!

Er I’ve met lots of five year olds.

And I’ve built lots of playmobil.

You have to pull really hard to dismantle the flowers.

The op said that the scene was all set up and laid out. Dismantling parts of it, as opposed to moving people around etc, is breaking something.

Neither is weird, they're just different people with different personalities

But using normal as a description is not helpful when comparing children.

No children are normal, they are all different in their own ways.

Not really on to let your kid dismantle another kid's playmobil. I know it actually comes apart, but it's not really designed for constant rebuilding like Lego.