Whose child is the weird one?

[CousinQuandary]

I’m staying with DSis. Her DD(8) has the world’s biggest collection of Playmobil, beautifully laid out all round her room. She does play with it, but it’s always kept very neat.
My DD(5) has pulled the heads off the flowers. She also pulled the leaves off the trees and put them in the Playmobil swimming pool.
DSis thinks this is really strange behaviour - to dismantle things rather than playing with them in the way they were intended.
I think my DD is normal and it’s her DD’s obsessive tidiness that is abnormal. AIBU?

I don’t think either is particularly strange.

I can see why her dd would get annoyed with her little cousin ruining her display though.

8 yo playing 'nicely' with own play mobile set up - fine

5 yo playing dismantling with OWN play mobile set up - fine

5yo dismantling 8yo's set up - not fine

I have twins, one is like your DN and one like your Dd. Both a variation of normal, I hope!

I think the fact that Dishwashersaurous thinks playmobil flowers should be dismantled and OP thinks that's part of playing with something like playmobil sort of proves the point that people have different ideas about things, neither are necessarily right or wrong.
My DC has
D a friend round once who ripped the cardboard box that a toy came in to get it out; my DC a bit horrified but visiting kid just saw it as rubbish/wrapping like opening a crisp packet or tearing an envelope.

shouldn't be dismantled FFS

That said, although I don't think either is odd/weird, if 5 year old was ruining something 8 year old didn't want touched/moved them that isn't right but is an entirely different argument to whether either is weird.
They are all weird!

Some DC are gentle Some DC are destructive.
I've one of each.
I prefer the gentle one.

Are you sure your DSis wasn't just a bit pissed off that you were letting your kid mess about with her DC's stuff?

Both girls' behaviour sounds perfectly normal for their ages.

As for the adults, it is perfectly normal to get defensive when your child is being a bit of an arse, and to find fault in other children to minimize your own child's quirks. But you NEVER say it out loud to the other child's parents .

Five year old generally deconstruct things...eight year old's like to build.

You are all weird for liking Playmobil...dreadful stuff.

Why was your child allowed to do that? Knowing their cousin likes it tidy? To me that’s odd. And then arguing about whose kid is weirder.

For me the kids are normal, it’s you two who are the issue.

Both are normal but I'd have had to have a word if DS had taken someone else's stuff apart without asking at that age. Especially if it was all arranged neatly. Just a quick 'I think you should apologise as cousin has obviously worked hard on that - can you help her put it back together properly?' would do.

But neither is weird.

Perhaps dsis wants it to stay tidy

You've just described me and my brother. My toys were always immaculate, his less so (and he used to ruin mine 😡). I'm still the same with my house these days 🤣

Neither of them are weird.

Playmobil towers and trees are designed to be 're-designed '. For those people saying that the OP's DD should have just played with them and not reconfigured them seem a little short sighted about what imaginative play actually involves. So are we suggesting that the younger cousin could indeed play with the construction toy, as long as that 'play' did not involve using the toy for it's intended purpose. Why not just say " You cannot actually play with the playmobil, but feel free to just hold and move them a tiny bit." Having said that neither child is weird.

@Dishwashersaurous

Wow.

Wanton destruction is not normal.

Playing with toys and moving them around, normal.

Purposefully breaking something, eg ripping off flowers. Particularly if it’s clearly a special toy. Not normal

She's not broken anything. The flower heads etc are meant to come off. Putting them on and off again in different colour combinations is part of the play bit of playmobil.

@Dishwashersaurous

Wow.

Wanton destruction is not normal.

Playing with toys and moving them around, normal.

Purposefully breaking something, eg ripping off flowers. Particularly if it’s clearly a special toy. Not normal

it is not wanton desctruction. playmobile is like lego, it comes apart and can be rebuilt.

Lego/playmobile k'nex etc is all made to be built and rebuilt. That is its absolute purpose!

"pulling the leaves and flower heads off - not so much! That not even imagination."

You can't think of a storyline involving taking leaves off trees and putting them in a swimming pool?

Some people should have done more Playmobil dismantling in their early years.

And I find it weird that people are saying that the only way to do imaginative play is the way the 8 year old does it.

I do think that a 5 year old is old enough to understand that she should not take her cousins playmobile apart. That her cousin doesn't want it played with like that, and so she is not allowed to take THIS playmobile apart.

But in general, taking leaves off and putting them in the swimming pool sounds like she is acting out real life!

There's also a big difference between your own toys and someone else's toys.

The elder child has her toys all beautifully laid out and doesn't dismantle it.

Therefore the visiting child should respect that.

It is unclear whether the younger child was explicitly told to respect the toy.

What the younger child does with their own toys, including dismantling flowers is entirely up to them!

@Faranth

I think one of them is 5 and the other is 8!

Was just about to say the same thing!

Neither of them are behaving strangely - both just different ages and different personalities! :)

Was your dd trying to annoy your neice? Sounds like she needs to be told not to ruin the toys your neice has set out ..

They're both normal.

I found my children’s playmobil unicorns shagging 🤪
What does that make my children OP?

Pretty sure both are normal. As pps have said, different personalities, probably not very compatible ones!!