Whose child is the weird one?

[CousinQuandary]

I’m staying with DSis. Her DD(8) has the world’s biggest collection of Playmobil, beautifully laid out all round her room. She does play with it, but it’s always kept very neat.
My DD(5) has pulled the heads off the flowers. She also pulled the leaves off the trees and put them in the Playmobil swimming pool.
DSis thinks this is really strange behaviour - to dismantle things rather than playing with them in the way they were intended.
I think my DD is normal and it’s her DD’s obsessive tidiness that is abnormal. AIBU?

Was the 8 yo ok with the 5 yo taking apart her scene?

I think it’s really odd to be posting this on here.
One is 5, one is 8 and (surprise!) different children have different personalities. Can you and your sister not just have a chat about that without taking to the internet.

I mean... my daughter had a waffle with chocolate on it today. Her cousin who is staying today also had strawberries. Do I need to post that on MN? 🧐

My DS was constantly redesigning his Playmobil. He treated it just like his Lego. The kit was made once following the instructions, and then he used his imagination. My DD was less adventurous, but even hers went through some updates! It's not wanton destruction - it's the purpose of the toy!

“ please celebrate who each of them are 🥰”
This is so nice. Thank you.

Was the 8 year old ok with their scene being pulled apart?

Sometimes the non tidy can leave stuff other dc care about

@SleepingStandingUp

Was the 8 yo ok with the 5 yo taking apart her scene?

First of all, ALL kids are weirdos in their own way, but second of all, This ^. If the 8 year old likes her toys to stay together once made then your 5 year old shouldn't be allowed to pull them apart. However, if the 8 year old didn't mind then it's a non-issue and they are both just kids being, well, kids in their own weird and unique way.

Also all kids are weird

It isn't wanton destruction, the child is 5 and Playmobil is designed to be pulled apart!!! Of course it's easy to dismantle the flowers, you can reconstruct them in different configurations, that's the point We have bucketloads of the stuff. My kids tend to the pulling apart end of the spectrum (and reconstruction with blutack, string, sellotape and wire). Neither approach is abnormal. One is more creative than the other though

@Cocomarine

I think it’s really odd to be posting this on here. One is 5, one is 8 and (surprise!) different children have different personalities. Can you and your sister not just have a chat about that without taking to the internet.

I mean... my daughter had a waffle with chocolate on it today. Her cousin who is staying today also had strawberries. Do I need to post that on MN? 🧐

I think the one that didn’t have strawberries was unreasonable.

My sister and I had a chat and the outcome was we both thought it would be fun to see what Mumsnet had to say. If people only posted things of earth-shattering importance, you’d not have many posts on here!

Neither are weird but your dd needs taught to respect other kids toys especially things they have spent time building and take pride in. My 9 year old son builds his Lego and likes to have it on show in his room. My 4 year did used to try to take it to pieces but was taught he isn't allowed to.

Neither are weird, it’s perfectly fine to play with the toys as intended l I’d not be happy with another child pulling things apart.

To be honest mine kept their dolls houses organised, never took leaves off or flowers ... so to your dd is weird but actually both are just different

They are not weird at all , either of them . The 5 year old sounds more experimental which is probably a good thing … unless of course it was malicious .

Neither child is weird on account of what you've shared here. Their mothers however...

Were you hoping we’d all join in to run your niece down, OP?

@Dishwashersaurous

Wow.

Wanton destruction is not normal.

Playing with toys and moving them around, normal.

Purposefully breaking something, eg ripping off flowers. Particularly if it’s clearly a special toy. Not normal

Playmobil flowers slide on and off. You’re meant to take them off, swap them around etc. Nothing has been broken.

When my DD was 5 she would have taken everything apart and moved it around. She may, however, have checked if it was OK to do so first. Maybe not but I think even at that age she would know not to deliberately "ruin" someone else's carefully arranged things.

Now at 8 she would be the one to have it all laid out perfectly without anything out of place.

Essentially, DD used to play by scattering everything about. Now she is super neat and tidy. Neither is right or wrong. I would just emphasise to your DD that you should ask before touching/changing someone else's things.

At 8 i would have been really pissed off at a 5 year old pulling my stuff apart.

None of my kids do move stuff around play. People keep giving us (especially dd) sets like this then acting surprised they get dismantled and merged into the enormous playmobile box full of tiny fiddly shit. I ask them not to give them to us as my dc don’t appreciate them (like I would have done!)

Neither weird, just different. Not just due to age, but different personalities.

Try not to be competitive.
Understand that she thinks her child is perfect just as you think yours is.

I was the kid whose toys and books were kept in near-pristene condition. My daughter has been defacing and destroying everything in her path since birth. I kind of admire her rebel spirit, tbh. Every kid is brilliant and odd in their own ways until society comes along and squashes the individuality out of them. Let them be themselves for as long as they can, I say.

Seems entirely logical for the 5 year old to replicate nature with the flowers - she's presumably also seen leaves floating in ponds.

I seem to remember that I was the one making the lego sets in accordance with the instructions and my DSs, when they were younger, taking them apart and doing their own thing (including, memorably, sticking lego heads on pikes outside the pirate fort.....).

I agree that both are "normal" but have different attitudes to play.
One likes things to be built, then stay built and be tidy.
The other likes to mix things up a bit, deconstruct and reconstruct and see what new stuff could be made to happen.

Neither is wrong. And yes, as has been said, there is no "destruction" as such, since Playmobil flowers and trees are made to come apart and then be put back together. Perhaps when the 5yo reaches 8, she'll be less likely to deconstruct, and will also want things left "just so" - who knows.

Neither of them are weird, what an odd thing to say.

When younger, DS1 played with lego, playability and trains. He always played neatly and didn't wreck anything.

DS2 rampage around the garden, building dens, getting messy and tearing clothes etc.

Neither of them were odd, just different.

I mean... my daughter had a waffle with chocolate on it today. Her cousin who is staying today also had strawberries. Do I need to post that on MN?

You just did.