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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is just a joke now?

519 replies

Justinversusmrtumble · 03/06/2021 09:54

Portugal possibly going back onto the amber list.
The only thing keeping my parents going is coming to celebrate toddlers DD’s birthday in the summer. It’s getting beyond ridiculous now. Feeling so low today, I miss my family so much.

OP posts:
User135644 · 03/06/2021 13:56

@VeganVeal

Thousands of people have died and all some are worried about is going abroad and having a party.

madness

It's mad. We're in a pandemic.
placemats · 03/06/2021 13:56

I haven't seen my daughter, who lives in London, for 17 months now. I will be going to London in August to spend time with her. Keep it within the country for now and if countries within the union decide to lock down again, respect that.

I'm off to Northern Ireland in 12 days time via Scotland - taking my car.

daisypond · 03/06/2021 13:59

As I said, your parents can still go to Portugal. They will need to quarantine on their return to the U.K. and pay for tests.
My 20-year-old DD is fully vaccinated, is coming from an Amber country, is paying for tests, and will quarantine with us. She can still return to her Amber country after her month with us.

psychomath · 03/06/2021 14:01

@CirqueDeMorgue

Has everyone seen that *@Tiktokersmiracle* is getting married?? Just checking no one missed it. Hmm
Yes and apparently some of her friends might not be able to come to the wedding, which is totally on a par with OP and others worrying that they'll never be able to see their elderly and ill parents again. 'Woe is me' indeed!

OP and @annie55 I'm sorry you're both in a horrible situation and please ignore anyone who's being a twat about it. I promise you normal people don't think like that - some people clearly just have nothing better going on in their lives than being nasty to strangers online.

My dad's sister is dying - not that it matters but she's 60, so not an age where it would be expected and planned for. He can't visit because she lives in his home country (in the EU), and he moved to the UK decades ago to live with my mum, who is British. I'm not saying the travel restrictions are wrong, but I'm really curious as to what the "well it's your fault for moving abroad so suck it up" crowd think he should have done differently. Lived apart from his wife for 40 years, just in case a border-closing pandemic struck at the same time as a close relative happened to suffer kidney failure? Maybe insist that his entire extended family move with him, just in case?

Tiktokersmiracle · 03/06/2021 14:04

[quote Justinversusmrtumble]@Tiktokersmiracle You’re a nasty person, aren’t you? I’m guessing you come on here for some attention or to wind people up? Failing those reasons, you are simply not a nice person, are you. I’m sorry you’re like that and I really hope you find happiness and inner peace somehow. This situation has been horrific for all of mankind and we need to come together more at this time.
I’m choosing not to engage with you any further, you’re not providing an opposing argument or a different point of view, you’re merely relishing being unkind, it’s not what I’m about.[/quote]
Yes dear
I'm merely pointing out this is AIBU. If you chose to post here, rather than in the Covid board, prepare to be told you are unreasonable and why

Because as others have said, you are indeed unreasonable. I've tried to put it politely, others haven't as they've questioned why you moved in the first place.

The fact is, your small family unit is of insignificance in the grand scheme of 150,000 deaths and climbing. The millions dead abroad. Countries that you would assume could manage a Pandemic falling short
Portugal that has not vaccinated anywhere near as many as the UK. The fact they will be sitting on a plane with people they have to assume are vaccinated and did have tests.

You would be putting them, yourselves and others at risk. Hence why they would need to be tested and quarantine. If you really wanted to see them so desperately, surely that would be a given. The country has been green and remains so for the next few days, so there has been opportunity to see each other.

Don't misquote and be abusive to someone on a board when you could be told you're unreasonable.

Don't engage. No skin off my nose.
The fact is, more of us are protecting the likes of you who feel the rules are there to inconvenience you personally, rather than to protect others.

June2021 · 03/06/2021 14:04

@Justinversusmrtumble

Portugal possibly going back onto the amber list. The only thing keeping my parents going is coming to celebrate toddlers DD’s birthday in the summer. It’s getting beyond ridiculous now. Feeling so low today, I miss my family so much.
Most of us aren't laughing at the 'joke'.

If we let them in people complain, if we open up people complain.

What do you suggest - perhaps just let your parents travel and ignore allt he rest Hmm

June2021 · 03/06/2021 14:05

oh by the way @Justinversusmrtumble

YABU

ilovesooty · 03/06/2021 14:08

@daisypond

OP, where have you got this idea that your parents can’t come if Portugal goes on the Amber list?
They might be able to come but they probably won't be insured.
PattyPan · 03/06/2021 14:09

@Justinversusmrtumble I didn’t mean to be harsh, just what do you expect the government to do? Your title was antagonistic - it’s not a joke, it has always been the plan to review the lists. Just allowing unrestricted travel without quarantine is unrealistic at the moment. Whinging to me is complaining about things without being able to suggest alternatives. My understanding was that you posted this thread in order to vent (which is the same as whinge) hence why AIBU was not a good place to post. Read all of my posts as ‘yes how awful for you’ if that is what you wanted from the thread. I do sympathise but it is the reality of living far from family and I’m not sure there is any way of changing that short of inventing teleportation.

looptheloopinahulahoop · 03/06/2021 14:10

OP your parents can travel, definitely. The government advises against it, but it's only guidance.

They will have to do the tests and quarantine on their return and can do test and release after 5 days which doesn't seem that bad to me if they want to see you and your dd. It is entirely up to them.

Tiktokersmiracle · 03/06/2021 14:10

@CirqueDeMorgue

Has everyone seen that *@Tiktokersmiracle* is getting married?? Just checking no one missed it. Hmm
Oh aren't you funny

You seem to miss the fact OP called me selfish and packing in empathy. I wished to point out I do understand and still think she is unreasonable.

I've reported your moronic comment

I like how you wish to belittle me when OP think the fact that 150,000 people have died is insignificant because it ruins her plans

That's the thing you should be pointing out is selfish.

ilovesooty · 03/06/2021 14:12

If you want to take issue with someone's post do you have to use words like moronic?

stopgap · 03/06/2021 14:12

You have my utmost sympathy, OP. I’m in the US and haven’t seen my parents in the UK since February 2020. We are living for the potential that they may visit me for all of August, but who knows. (And no, I don’t want to leave my kids behind in the US and do a quarantine visit at my parents’ tiny home.)

Tiktokersmiracle · 03/06/2021 14:12

[quote PattyPan]@Justinversusmrtumble I didn’t mean to be harsh, just what do you expect the government to do? Your title was antagonistic - it’s not a joke, it has always been the plan to review the lists. Just allowing unrestricted travel without quarantine is unrealistic at the moment. Whinging to me is complaining about things without being able to suggest alternatives. My understanding was that you posted this thread in order to vent (which is the same as whinge) hence why AIBU was not a good place to post. Read all of my posts as ‘yes how awful for you’ if that is what you wanted from the thread. I do sympathise but it is the reality of living far from family and I’m not sure there is any way of changing that short of inventing teleportation.[/quote]
No one has been harsh

Op clearly has no concept of what AIBU is.
Or has come here deliberately to cause a bun fight because they're one of the Covid is a conspiracy lot

Far be it from anyone to point out her parents have had a month to come, could still easily come and test before, during and after and would need to stay at their home for a period to keep others safe. Apparently, suggesting we want to keep others safe is of little importance and we should all just take it on the chin if we end up back in lockdown with our economy in tatters, so long as her family are allowed over and back.

pinkearedcow · 03/06/2021 14:13

OP is not being unreasonable. No one who is finding this shitty situation difficult for whatever reason is being unreasonable. This is hard for everyone in different ways.

daisypond · 03/06/2021 14:13

You can still get insured if you travel to an Amber country. That isn’t an issue

OhYouDontSay · 03/06/2021 14:15

I like how you wish to belittle me when OP think the fact that 150,000 people have died is insignificant because it ruins her plans

Can you highlight where OP said anything of the sort or are you making things up?

ilovesooty · 03/06/2021 14:15

@daisypond

You can still get insured if you travel to an Amber country. That isn’t an issue
If you travel against foreign office advice your options are limited.
Tiktokersmiracle · 03/06/2021 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OhYouDontSay · 03/06/2021 14:18

Stop making things up and I'll stop calling you out on it?

OhYouDontSay · 03/06/2021 14:19

And I've not called you out on any other thread that I'm aware of except this one where I think you're being thoroughly horrid to the OP for no reason.

CatalinaCasesolver · 03/06/2021 14:19

I'm with you OP, it's ridiculous.

ThursdayWeld · 03/06/2021 14:30

If you travel against foreign office advice your options are limited

Nowt to do with the Foreign Office.

ilovesooty · 03/06/2021 14:32

@ThursdayWeld

If you travel against foreign office advice your options are limited

Nowt to do with the Foreign Office.

It depends on what your insurance policy says.
Carriemac · 03/06/2021 14:33

It's ridiculous