AIBU to find it weird when adult friend acts like a baby?

[Puzzled47]

I will preface this to say this is one of my oldest friends and I love her to bits, she is kind, thoughtful, we have great fun etc.

However, she has a habit of acting like a baby a lot of the time and it genuinely baffles me! She's always done it to some extent but I'm sure she's got worse in the last year or so. We are both early 30s btw.

Examples include:
Regularly talking in an actual baby voice (no human under the age of 30 around) and using phrases like "would you like some more winey winey?"
Calls her parents mumma and dadda, never mum and dad etc
Refers to a shower as a "joosh joosh" (wtf?!)
Calls her husband all sorts of really cringy pet names (in public) in a baby voice like "sausage boo" and "bubba".
She sometimes physically acts quite childlike too, it's hard to explain but things like holding a mug of tea, or a glass of water, she holds it with both hands and tips it up to sip with her arms tucked tight to her body (she has no physical disability before anyone suggests that).

It's odd as she is physically extremely petite and quite underweight and has mentioned before how she feels insecure at not having a womanly figure. So I find it odd that she chooses to act like a child if this is one of her insecurities?

Maybe I'm just a massive bitch but this is weird behaviour for a grown adult right?

YABU - this is perfectly normal, I wouldn't bat an eyelid at this behaviour
YANBU - no, weird

@Asthenia

I’ve never come across anything like this but I know soooooo many women who make a big deal out of being petite. “I’m so tiny!” Etc etc. As a nearly 6ft woman I find it really irritating but I guess unfortunately femininity/worth is often judged on size. I’d find a friend doing this stuff in front of me absolutely bizarre tbh.

When the first thing people say about you on meeting for the first time is ‘Oh, aren’t you small!’ that’s bloody irritating too. Yes. I’d noticed.

My ideal go-to response is ‘Aren’t you... [insert some physical observation that’s likely to make them wince]’ but I never actually say that because unlike them, I’m too polite to comment on a stranger’s physical characteristics.

@ForwardRanger, what sort of symptoms did you have in general that they tried to treat?

@EmpressWitchDoesntBurn yep, feel you on that one. Get a lot of comments about being tall

[quote FullThrottle]**@ForwardRanger, what sort of symptoms did you have in general that they tried to treat?[/quote]
Long story. I made a complaint about a dr which turned into a criminal investigation. As part of that the prosecutors asked me to be assessed by a forensic psychiatrist as part of the evidence round up. Having my complaint treated so seriously made me realise I had been through an ordeal (rather than worrying I was making a fuss about nothing) so I started therapy. It's in one of the assesor's reports that I saw the dissociative diagnosis but at a later assessment I was told I didn't have it any more. No-one ever really talked about diagnoses as such, it was always more about making improvements to everyday life so I'm not entirely sure what behaviour led to the diagnosis. I don't think it really matters, I was just curious. This thread has made me reflect that we are not always aware of our own habits.

That is so interesting. What an ordeal, I’m so sorry. And well done for reporting malpractice and getting treatment. What became of the so called Dr in the end?

It’s so odd how an individual's diagnosis my not be fully explained to the person themselves, whereas in other countries your medical reports are not even given to your own GP without your express consent.
It’s infantilising patients. Although I suppose looked at on the whole, it’s an efficient system.

[quote Asthenia]@EmpressWitchDoesntBurn yep, feel you on that one. Get a lot of comments about being tall [/quote]

I have a friend like this who I went to school with. It’s like she hasn’t progressed since we were about 12. She is also petite and still got ID’d into her 30s. The symptoms are:

1. Disney mad (like every meet up she wants to stick a Disney film on).

1. Dresses like some Japanese cartoon character.

1. Cutesy voice to the point where it’s just her normal voice.

1. Her bedroom is full of plushie toys.

I would think it annoying but she’s also one of the nicest and kindest people you could meet, and DD’s love her (possibly because she’s on their wavelength).

I remember when we were teenagers there was some sort of dummy/pacifier fashion going on among some girls (I didn’t care for it myself- it seemed weird) but she was well into it then.

I know some people do this to relax and some even like to do things like wearing nappies too.

As a late bedwetter who had to wear nappies late, I can understand the feeling of safety and security they might bring (though let me stress I’m not into that now!)

It does sound weird, and I don’t get it. Like women who collect Disney dolls, or bears, or give dogs birthday parties. But each to their own, I guess - we all have something weird!

Had relative like this baby girl voice when men cetain /relatives. Once the audience were out of earshot they were the nastiest bitches I've had the misfortune to come across!Seen female nurses do the same around Drs only recently. My nan used to call this being as false as a cartload of monkeys!

Next time she does it, could you reciprocate in answering her back in the same baby voice but exaggerate it and keep doing it until she finds you very annoying 😁 If she asks why you’re copying her, tell her it’s so cute and that you love it!

At least this is what I would do 😄

I agree with Orlapeely: if she says joosh-joosh say ‘Do you mean a shower?’
Sounds like this started this years ago and now it’s just a (bad) habit. I doubt there’s anything deep and meaningful about it.
I suspect no-one has had the guts to tell her how intensely embarrassing and irritating it is. Easier said than done, I know.
I find grown women speaking in baby voices vomit-inducing 🤮.

My ex was always comparing me unfavourably to a female like that. Who'd take pride in wearing age 5 clothes. I was a UK size 6 at the time and she made me feel like a heifer. Some just play up to those who like it. Her husband probably encourages it.

Eating disorder possibly? I knew a really lovely girl who suffered from anorexia and was incredibly child like.

How strange. I have never met anyone who does this, and if I did I dont' think I could be friends with them. Whatever she does in private with her husband is one thing, but to do it in public with you and others ... as PPs say I would try to have a serious chat about it. She probably thinks you find it cute and adorable. I would be mortified if a friend of mine was posting about how irritating my habits were, and would prefer her to speak to me about it.

Oh my God that made me laugh. Sorry can't offer any advice. If she's a good friend, you would overlook it though wouldn't you?

While a bit weird, I've actually known a husband or two who subtly encouraged such behavior. This might be her case. At any rate, there's not a lot you can do about it. It sounds as if it has become a habit with her.

Maybe just distance yourself a bit if it is making you feel understandably uncomfortable. I would find it difficult to be around myself.
I imagine if your friend knew or saw that you had written this about her it would be really devastating. It doesn't sound like a very good, real friendship if you're on here asking this.

I did this for a while. It stemmed from an emotionally and physically threatening relationship i had been in and was part an unconscious attempt to protect myself...as in you can't hurt me I'm only a child and also because i felt so small...although i don't think I realised it at the time. I dumped it when i finally left and got a new partner, it was pointed out to me, I was mortified and trained myself out of it! But i understand why i did it!

Just love her as she is, she is your friend.

If she starts to seriously bug you, it might be time to go your separate ways.

Reminds me of the Haribo advert on Tv when the policemen talk in baby voices, makes me cringe

I couldn't possibly be friends with anyone who behaves like this - it would turn my stomach - it's also quite sinister if her romantic partner encourages and responds to this 😣😣😣

She sounds like she needs some help. This behaviour isn’t ok. There are a few personality disorders which this behaviour is indicative of.

You sound like a good person to want to be friends with her- that would really bother me!

Maybe make a general remark about how people mimicking baby voices really bothers you? (make up that one of your friend's friends does it or something?).

I don't put on a voice or use baby words but people say I sound childish and gormless when I talk. I have dyspraxia and It worries me that people say I sound childish and one boss complained that I sounded 'gormless when I talk' and said I must be putting it on 😢 so that I could trick people into thinking I was dumb- but I was just trying to be normal. Cringe.
Therapist I saw reckoned it was to do with my having dyspraxia. Feel gutted about 'sounding gormless' when I talk so I keep quiet unless with trusted friends. I'm not great at using cutlery so I avoid eating in front of others and apparently hold things like cups in a funny way.

Sounds like your friend is maybe doing it on purpose though. I do not want to sound gormless. I think if she had dyspraxia you'd have noticed but I just wanted to mention it. I am very slow to learn new instructions and work colleagues would sometimes do simple tasks for me until I eventually mastered it, I found it absolutely soul destroying and humiliating, even worse-some women there thought I was pretending to be useless to get male attention but I don't want attention for things like getting stuck in room because I couldn't turn a key right and eating clumsily like a baby, it's just humiliating. I don't think men think it's cute, they'd just groan and be irritated/ shocked by my uselessness. I'm meant to be 'pretty' too, but they just don't like it one bit.
I have a degree in English lit but I can't even drive or learn a new simple task, like using a new till at work . Sorry for my long whine, probably a bit irrelevant to the topic, just nice for me to unload. I'd never use baby words.
Xx

I once worked with a petite female, who insisted on wearing pink. We worked together in a professional, male dominated environment and she would constantly use the baby voice when she wanted to get out of things. It really did work. Her car was pink, and she had a " fairy dust powers this car" plaque on the back. A pink folder, pink mittens and would sometimes ask the men to zip up her coat. We all played along with it. She was very popular with everybody and successful in her career. She ended up marrying a 6ft 2 man and would constantly talk about how he could pick her up and carry her on his shoulders. I think it's a character trait, she wanted us to be protective of her and we were.