AIBU to find it weird when adult friend acts like a baby?

[Puzzled47]

I will preface this to say this is one of my oldest friends and I love her to bits, she is kind, thoughtful, we have great fun etc.

However, she has a habit of acting like a baby a lot of the time and it genuinely baffles me! She's always done it to some extent but I'm sure she's got worse in the last year or so. We are both early 30s btw.

Examples include:
Regularly talking in an actual baby voice (no human under the age of 30 around) and using phrases like "would you like some more winey winey?"
Calls her parents mumma and dadda, never mum and dad etc
Refers to a shower as a "joosh joosh" (wtf?!)
Calls her husband all sorts of really cringy pet names (in public) in a baby voice like "sausage boo" and "bubba".
She sometimes physically acts quite childlike too, it's hard to explain but things like holding a mug of tea, or a glass of water, she holds it with both hands and tips it up to sip with her arms tucked tight to her body (she has no physical disability before anyone suggests that).

It's odd as she is physically extremely petite and quite underweight and has mentioned before how she feels insecure at not having a womanly figure. So I find it odd that she chooses to act like a child if this is one of her insecurities?

Maybe I'm just a massive bitch but this is weird behaviour for a grown adult right?

YABU - this is perfectly normal, I wouldn't bat an eyelid at this behaviour
YANBU - no, weird

Is she also into other childlike things like collecting cute stuff, wearing kitchy accessories or hobbies like Japanese kawaii culture? Some women like the safety and nostalgia that childhood themed things bring and many continue it at a reasonable level into adulthood. Purely anecdotally, most women I know who do this are physically small and petite as well.

Having said that, behaviour like holding a cup like a toddler is a bit on the creepier side. It sounds more like some kind of hidden fetish behaviour, especially if her husband doesn't seem to bothered by it. The DDLG community is huge. I had no idea what it was until I watched a slightly disturbing YouTube couple and all the comments (left by teenagers!) were just saying "oh they're obviously DDLG" like it was something entirely offhand that everyone should know about.

There are also some people that love hiding their fetishes in plain sight. They might do or say things that appear slightly odd in passing but otherwise forgettable. There are loads of huge Instagram accounts that appear innocuous (food, lifestyle etc) that actually cater to the fetish. They do livestreams where they might repeat a certain action all the time (e.g. hands shaking a bit before performing a cooking task) or always say the same phrase (Oh I forgot to move that box) while doing so.

This is obviously going slightly off topic but it's fact that fetish communities are highly prevalent and obviously there's nothing wrong with that unless it starts bordering on illicit themes. For the records, a lot of baby play/DDLG is not related to pedophilia but about feeling safe or being taken care of like a child. As some PPs have said, it's often a sad response to abuse or an unhappy life.

I would also argue that it's impossible to "tell" whether someone had a good childhood based on social status or even knowing the family yourself. I only realised decades later that my best friend from school was most likely abused by her father based on lots of indirect things she said or did at the time and how her life turned out many years down the time. We spent every single day together for years but as a teenager everything just went completely over my head. Things only fell into place much later as an adult after gaining more general knowledge on abuse and how it affects people.

@gamerchick

Sounds annoying. Almost as annoying as on here when people use the voting buttons for a poll.

We've all met that woman who puts on a baby voice in front of men. It's cringeworthy. I'd always assume it's a throwback from childhood that hasn't been adulted out of them. If you indulge then how do they know?

I have literally never come across this, nor have I heard of it. This is a thing?

@EShellstrop

Makes me think about how vocal fry used to be a popular affectation. (Also annoying as hell)

Has it passed off? I thought it was alive and well still.

I have literally never come across this, nor have I heard of it. This is a thing?

If you haven't noticed, it doesn't mean you won't. But you might think of this thread when you do.

I have literally never come across this, nor have I heard of it. This is a thing?

I hadn’t come across it, until my DD1 (12) started doing it. She’ll say things like ‘me hungry’ and also calls my DH and me ‘Mumma’ and ‘Dadda’. (Not always, though, and never away from the house.) It’s starting to really grate, now she’s at high school, as I keep thinking that she should have grown out of it by now.

I always ask her to repeat what she’s said in English, and she does, but then reverts to baby talk again.

She and DD2 (9) are adopted, so that fits with this being a response to trauma.

I do this a bit sometimes with gestures (not really baby talk), though I'm very independent and not like it most of the time. I don't do it consciously but make sure I keep it out of work settings. I like kawaii.

In my case it's due to a mix of some trauma, being short (so was always the baby of the group) and find it of comfort. Not fetish related.

Long time lurker..

I do this and I have been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder.

Yes it's odd when women do this. My step mum talks to my dad like this. Makes me die inside. Must be some psychological reason to hold on to a childlike way like this. Freud would know!

I think it's attention seeking pure and simple. Friend of a friend is like this and it's very annoying, she can def turn it on and off.

I was a bit like this when I was in my 20's I was into indie music and had an anorak and wore hairslides and there was a love of childhood things, a reaction to the hypersexualisation of teenagers, bands were called things like 14 iced bears, the shop assistants, etc.

Finished when I had kids.

@CoalCraft

Well yes it's weird, but if you like her I'd just overlook it.

There's a bit of an internet trend at the moment to use a lot of babyish language, especially about animals. It's not a dog, it's a "pupper" or "doggo", not a bird but a "birb", not running around but "zoomies", not teeth but "teefies"... Then you get to things like "doing a heckin jump" instead of "jumping around". I don't like it personally but maybe it's encouraged your friend?

What?? The only thing I've heard is 'dogger', and that was in a sarcastic tone. BIRB?!? Take me off the planet now

This would wear very thin very quick with me.

I do this with DH and he does it back- Have done for 20 years and cant bloody stop myself. We only do it in private and if anyone found out I'd die of embarrassment. It is bloody weird. If I want him to pass me something I'll point at it, jiggle about, and make a sound like a 2 year old. WHY?

Not a sexual thing. Sometimes its a relief after having to be an adult all day I think. Can't imagine doing it with others though.
Maybe she is super comfortable with you?

As she is tiny, perhaps she has always been treated in a childish manner and this has therefore exacerbated things. Perhaps she plays up to it!

Does she have an eating disorder? The two things can be connected.

Julie Birchill talks like a Haribo advert.

I'm embarrassed to admit I'm a bit like this. I don't use silly words for things ect but the baby voice is my go to voice and I really can't help it. I use my normal voice with close friends and family but for some reason when I meet new people, or in the past when I was working (on mat leave at the mo) I would be like it with figures of authority .my voice.sounds young anyway even when not going for a higher pitch! I hate it the older I get. My husband is good and if for example I ask him to make me a cup of tea, he will jokingly say "I will but only if you ask me in your normal voice" and I realise I have done it .
I did have a bit of trauma in childhood and I was abused at one point.
It did seem to get me out of trouble when I was young ( I am small and cute or atleast was!) I'm 34 and a mum.of two now so I really try and catch it when I feel myself doing it.
Anyway just thought I'd put my two cents in.

Also yes as pp has said , I have always been treated like a child, or the baby of the group. I wasn't even the youngest in my family but was over protected and treated that way. It's a bit of a viscous circle!

@HappenstanceMarmite

Bitty 😏

Sorry I couldn't go out with anyone who behaved like that. I'd have an overwhelming urge to slap them.

I must admit some of my words seem more code than actual words.

I’ve never come across anything like this but I know soooooo many women who make a big deal out of being petite. “I’m so tiny!” Etc etc. As a nearly 6ft woman I find it really irritating but I guess unfortunately femininity/worth is often judged on size.
I’d find a friend doing this stuff in front of me absolutely bizarre tbh.

@AliceAbsolum

I do this with DH and he does it back- Have done for 20 years and cant bloody stop myself. We only do it in private and if anyone found out I'd die of embarrassment. It is bloody weird. If I want him to pass me something I'll point at it, jiggle about, and make a sound like a 2 year old. WHY?

I can relate . I do the same thing. Also miaow like a cat in greeting, and if I see someone I really like, kind of...imperceptively wiggle my backside like I'm wagging my tail.

Nothing to do with being a furry or something before someone suggests it. It's just comforting and I guess I have a bit of trouble expressing myself and my emotions in a normal way. I do have to be very comfortable with someone before the miaowing though...the tail wagging I'm usually sitting down.

Can't believe I'm admitting to all this.

@Jinjen

Long time lurker..

I do this and I have been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder.

Were you diagnosed because of the baby talk? Can you explain how the diagnosis came about? I ask because I have been diagnosed with DID in the past though apparently I don't have it anymore. However I haven't been told much about it, I just saw it mentioned in my notes relating to treatment funding, so I am curious.

He he, DH and I meow in greeting all the time. Or will add the tone and inflection to it for other things, e.g 'aw-rawr'? With the rawr being the upwards inflection, like 'say again'? That only started once we realized we were having problems conceiving and got a cat so maybe it's something weird to do with that.

We've been together since we were 17 and I'd thought we were going to grow out of it but I reckon we'll still be doing it in our 80s!

I did catch a couple do it in a shop when they didn't think anyone was listening. Big burley bloke said 'I wan dis 1' and she said 'speaking normally in public darling'