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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Adults getting stockings / compromising my DCs belief in Father Christmas

111 replies

NicFairy · 31/05/2021 12:18

I appreciate this is a very minor thing to be pondering, it’s just that it happens at nearly every family meet up.

DHs adult siblings all get stockings from their parents and parents in law. DH and I are the only ones with our own children: 9, 7 & 5 yrs old.

The adults like to bang on about these stockings in conversations right in front of our kids. We’re not even anywhere near Christmas but last week there were two conversations about what was in their stockings last Christmas and which parent gave it to them. I try to divert these conversations quickly without the kids realising something is up, but the adults don’t seem to ever get the hint.

At Christmas they ‘save’ their stockings to open in front of the rest of the family (including our kids - we were saved from this last year thanks to covid) and love to pointedly say things like “Oooh thanks DM!...oh, I mean thanks Father Christmas 😉😉” as if they think this makes it more subtle when actually it just makes it even more obvious.

One year my children did question it, so I said something like “They’re just being silly. Of course Father Christmas only brings stockings for children, those are just presents they’ve bought for each other because they wanted to join in”.

My DH thinks I would be overreacting to say something. He doesn’t think this kind of chat is a big deal or a problem. I know I am quite overprotective over not spoiling the whole FC thing for my kids, because of my own experience finding out very young and never having any memories of believing. The problem is that I can never say anything at the time, because my children are there. So to say something would mean bringing it up out of the blue in a group text, which makes it feel more of a big deal rather than a casual ‘by the way’.

We recently had a chat about the tooth fairy with our eldest (because DH had forgotten to swap the tooth for money and we decided DC was of an age where it seemed silly to make up a white lie about it). So I know eldest DC is extra sensitive to picking up truths about Father Christmas right now, but otherwise they still very firmly believe - despite the inevitable chat from kids at school about him not being real, I think without someone outright coming out and saying “your parents do it”, they just haven’t been presented with a logical alternative yet so they believe the story.

I know it won’t be much longer for my eldest and they should know before Year 6/7, but my younger two still have a few years left in them I think.

Am I being precious? Or would this bother you and would you say something? Should I just wait until they have their own kids, at which point mine will likely all be teens, and suddenly decide to become very loose with my FC chat? 😂

OP posts:
Hobnobswantshernameback · 31/05/2021 16:29

It's not even fucking June Confused

mamakoukla · 31/05/2021 16:41

Some people believe in Santa, some people believe in God…. not everyone does. But I did relegate Santa to a delivery person status, bringing presents from relatives. It helped explain present discrepancy between children as well. Stockings are a form of wrapping. Could be Santa Santa or an actual person filling it. So many ways to handle this

JellyTumble · 31/05/2021 17:00

YABVU. You made the decision to pretend Father Christmas is real to your kids, that’s entirely your decision to make.

But you can’t expect anyone else to follow along with it and you should expect your kids to interact with the wider world and find out he’s made up rather than trying to hush everyone all the time.

IAmADoorbell · 31/05/2021 17:12

What’s with the confused? Mine still believes at that age.

They pretended they did presumably to get more presents from their gullible parents.

MinorCharacter · 31/05/2021 17:25

Look, OP, you're the one who's chosen to do Father Christmas with your children in a particular way. It's up to you to figure out a story that steers around other people's practices in your family.

knittingaddict · 31/05/2021 18:31

Our eldest grandson, aged 7, told us a couple of days ago that FC doesn't exist and it's adults doing the presents. We didn't comment but he's a bright boy. For my daughter's sake we didn't confirm that he was right but I'm also not going to double down on a lie.

firstevernamechange · 31/05/2021 21:57

Working out the truth is part of the fun. Adults tieing themselves in knots to provide proof are the source of children who feel actual betrayal when learning the truth.

FortniteBoysMum · 31/05/2021 22:04

Personally we do Christmas with whole family. Kids get one present from santa that's it. That present is wrapped in a different paper with different tags and a work colleague signs the tags for me. ( I found out as a child when my nanny used same paper as she sent our santander presents). I suggest talking to the family about how they could ruin the magic of Christmas for your children with the way the mention it. If they can't keep quiet revert to how I get round it. I would however point out that should they have kids you will return the favour in blowing the whistle if they ruin it for your children.

FortniteBoysMum · 31/05/2021 22:05

Nan sent our Santa presents stupid predictive text

IntoAir · 01/06/2021 20:11

so I said something like “They’re just being silly. Of course Father Christmas only brings stockings for children, those are just presents they’ve bought for each other because they wanted to join in”

So you're being sarcastic about a family tradition which brings pleasure & enjoyment? Adults are allowed to enjoy Christmas too, you know. You sound a bit like hard work, trying to spoil your in-laws' enjoyment. And lying to your children.

countrygirl99 · 02/06/2021 19:14

[quote NicFairy]@DancesWithTortoises yes quite possible they do know and just haven’t revealed that to us. Every year I think “they can’t possibly still be believing it”, not my eldest, anyway. But then they get really invested in the Santa tracker website and working out what time he will be here etc, so I really don’t know. Either way, I know they like believing even if they know 😂[/quote]
My DS used to work.as a bingo caller. On Christian eve I would text where Father Christmas had got to.and he would announce it during the games. I very much doubt the customers still believed but they still found it fun.

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