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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her?

343 replies

AmandaHuggenkizz · 30/05/2021 20:50

NC for this.

My friend has just had a baby. She announced the name to our friend group on WhatsApp. It’s very unusual. Personally, I don’t like it.
To be honest, I more than don’t like it and think it’s a ridiculous thing to call a child.

We all congratulated her and said he’s gorgeous (which he is!) etc but none of us have passed comment on the name.

She’s messaged me separately asking if the name is a bit much.

AIBU to tell her the truth, gently?

OP posts:
MarieIVanArkleStinks · 31/05/2021 11:43

To my mind there's only one reasonable response to this. It's her child so put the ball back in her court and ask her: 'Do you like it?'

If the response to that question is 'yes', then the only thing you can really say is 'Then that's all that matters'. If it's 'I'm not sure', then and only then might it be possible to have a more frank conversation.

You wouldn't have lied and said you thought it was wonderful when in reality it sucked. FWIW, I think it does suck, but in fairness I've heard worse.

Best of luck!

PinkiOcelot · 31/05/2021 12:26

That’s not even a name. It’s bloody ridiculous.

andivfmakes3 · 31/05/2021 12:48

Since she's asked your opinion on it then I would say your entitled to be honest and say you don't like it

amusedbush · 31/05/2021 13:00

Can you imagine a 40yo man introducing himself as Navy-Lee?? It's an absolute stinker of a name but at least your friend has the awareness to realise that nobody complimented the name when she announced it. Hopefully she will take that on board and give the poor kid a chance.

Blossomtoes · 31/05/2021 13:06

I can imagine a 40 year old man introducing himself as Navy or Lee. There are some people who are going to be hugely embarrassed in a decade or so onwards - Chardonnay?

Yellowcrockpot · 31/05/2021 13:11

Another memory I've just had, I worked recruitment for a while, and came along a CV for job, the man in question was called something similar to "Brilliance" or "Cooler", "awesomeness"

  • a word describing something amazing.

I instantly thought to shirk him for the job but then came to senses (but the CV didn't meet requirements anyway)

By chance, I met a mutual acquaintance of Mr. "Awesome" .......she didn't even know that was, in fact his real name, and couldn't quite get her head around it, as his namesake didn't live up to him as a person... she had never understood his "nickname" and had wondered why people called him that name.

Thus showing the tragedy of a badly chosen name.

nolovelost · 31/05/2021 13:13

Her choice and she likes it. Just say something like it's not my sort of name but you like it, and reiterate how gorgeous he is.

It's not a bad name at all, I quite like it.

ScottishNewbie · 31/05/2021 14:40

@Nanny0gg loads of names are originally other things these days. Blue Ivy, Apple, flower names etc. Or names after months or days of the week. Colours like Violet....
I personally think it's nice, but each to their own.

saraclara · 31/05/2021 17:24

@Yellowcrockpot

Another memory I've just had, I worked recruitment for a while, and came along a CV for job, the man in question was called something similar to "Brilliance" or "Cooler", "awesomeness"
  • a word describing something amazing.

I instantly thought to shirk him for the job but then came to senses (but the CV didn't meet requirements anyway)

By chance, I met a mutual acquaintance of Mr. "Awesome" .......she didn't even know that was, in fact his real name, and couldn't quite get her head around it, as his namesake didn't live up to him as a person... she had never understood his "nickname" and had wondered why people called him that name.

Thus showing the tragedy of a badly chosen name.

In many cultures, such names are absolutely normal. In the African country that I have links to, it's extremely common to come across names such as Fantastic, Wonderful, Shine, Wisdom etc. People often name their children for the qualities they want for them.

So binning someone's application because they have what you think to be a stupid name, is adding to the disadvantages that black immigrants face in life.

ForestYeti · 31/05/2021 17:27

I hate hyphenated names but quite like navy

FierceBarrie · 31/05/2021 19:12

So OP - what are you going to do?

VeganCow · 31/05/2021 20:39

@CrownKettle

To be fair, she could get a theme going if she has anymore. I’m thinking RAF-Gary, Army-Janet and Royal-Marines-Keith.
😂
Yellowcrockpot · 31/05/2021 21:02

@saraclara I must point out. I totally agree with you POV here, but in this case it was a Caucasian male.

I take on you POV on board and now my career is much more ethically diverse, so I am aware of these things, but thanks for making the point to anyone else who may not be aware.

The recruitment job in question was very much when I was new and extremely young... however, if the CV had been up to scratch for the job applied for I am sure the name would not have matter and he would have been interviewed for the job.

But no, no culture references in this case, just a very unfortunate name.

As so posting the story for an example of unfortunate names and how a name can be judged on first impressions.

converseandjeans · 31/05/2021 21:08

I think I would be honest - the child will likely get a hard time. Just wondering if Blue might work rather than Navy?

This will sound snobby but hyphenated names are a bit chavvy 🙄

TheLastLotus · 31/05/2021 21:26

@saraclara In all honestly if I saw someone with a very try hard name (like the ones with weird spellings) I'd be a bit Hmm
Wouldn't have any impact on their application though, a name is chosen by parents.

As an aside .. if you came across someone named 'Stupid' or the f-word would you be able to say it with a straight face? This actually happened in my country of origin when someone came to give a speech... his name meant something very very rude in our national language...even the host introduced him by a nickname but his full name was in the program booklet. Of course it was nobody's fault but none of us could bring ourselves to say the word in public as other people wouldn't know that it was indeed his name! Was awks but luckily he was a good sport about it

RickJames · 31/05/2021 21:39

It sounds like a traveller name to me. Is she a traveller? If so then it's just her/ her family's culture and the child will grow up feeling quite normal and accepted. A bit like the PP mentioning how African names can sound unusual to British ears but are perfectly fine in their given culture.

Of course if this is something completely out of the leftfield for her then maybe respond to her question with a question of why she's asking and does she want a chat.

CrazyCatsAndKittens · 31/05/2021 21:45

@RickJames

It sounds like a traveller name to me. Is she a traveller? If so then it's just her/ her family's culture and the child will grow up feeling quite normal and accepted. A bit like the PP mentioning how African names can sound unusual to British ears but are perfectly fine in their given culture.

Of course if this is something completely out of the leftfield for her then maybe respond to her question with a question of why she's asking and does she want a chat.

How on earth does it sound like a Traveller name? This thread is just embarrassing for many of the posters. I really hope it is a fake thread for the sake of the poor mum.
Shizzlestix · 31/05/2021 21:51

I know a Nave, pronounced Nar-vey. Depending on the language you speak, it could mean a ship or a turnip!

I think it’s a pretty dire name. As a pp said, when he’s 14 and his mates are shouting for him, it’s going to sound silly. He’ll forever be known as navy blue!

Cheeseismymiddlename · 31/05/2021 21:53

We have 2 friends called Lee, both ex services . So we refer to them as Navy Lee or Army Lee . Shock

EducatingArti · 31/05/2021 21:56

@OrchestraOfWankery

I want a cat called Fierce Barry Me too! Grin
A family member had a cat called Bad Harry once!
RickJames · 31/05/2021 22:03

@CrazyCatsAndKittens

What's wrong with saying that something sounds like it comes from a particular culture? Double barrelled names are pretty popular in the travelling community, for all genders.

Would you say it was offensive to say Helmut sounded like a German name? Or Özmet sounds a bit Turkish?

HandforthParishCouncilClerk · 31/05/2021 22:12

I knew someone who named their daughter Navy. After multiple people made jokes about her having lots of sailors, they changed it!

neverknowme · 31/05/2021 23:05

My colleague called her son Glade and at my old workplace another called her son Cash.

As you did we all said what a beautiful baby, and I focused on that. If I was pressed, I'd say it's unusual but it suits him. I don't think commenting negatively about his name is helpful, everyone has there own tastes and some of the younger team members think it's pretty cool to have out there names. I think it's getting more normal and not everyone associates thing the same as me.

TheGoogleMum · 31/05/2021 23:13

I think how honest I would be would depend how close we are and if she's very sensitive. I wouldn't be too mean but maybe say you wouldn't use it yourself but perhaps it suits her baby
I've never heard of Navy as a name either

douliket · 31/05/2021 23:50

Love it..I can see this little boy growing more and more into his name as time goes by..I think Navy sounds great, cool, unique, interesting, I really love it,I hope she sticks with it