DH says I'm controlling

[allthegoodusersaretaken]

DD 16 told us the other day that she wanted to go to her school's sixth form instead of college. This was the first we'd heard of it - she applied to the college in December, got accepted and had an interview, all went well as far as I know. I told her she shouldn't go to sixth form until she's at least tried college (school have said she can come back after a week or 2 at college if she doesn't like it, but she can't go back to college if she doesn't like sixth form), but DH says I'm being controlling and we should let her choose as she's 16. AIBU to say she at least has to try college?

What subjects is your daughter studying? There may be an advantages to studying for A-levels in English, rather than Welsh, if she is studying a subject which has lots of subject-specific terminology. I attended an English speaking sixth form college in Wales and lots of my classmates were from Welsh-medium schools, I had a friend studying Environmental Science who didn’t know the names for different types of rock (sedimentary, igneous etc) in English as she’s only ever learnt them in Welsh and although English was her first language I guess it’s not really something that comes up in typical family conversation. Obviously this is stuff which can be looked up and learnt but it could add an extra challenge at the start of uni if she is doing sciences or other subjects with a lot of jargon so I think it is a relevant point. That said there are many subjects where the language is less specific or where it carries over more into everyday conversation and so it may be irrelevant whether she learns in English or Welsh.

OP you can list your reasons all you want but it doesn't matter what your reasons are. It's HER CHOICE.

We let Dd choose.
We put forward all the pros and cons of each and she changed her mind twice and chose the 6th form with a day a week at the local college.
Also Welsh medium high school. But the A levels are taught in English.

Missed a bit, they can do them in Welsh or English, their choice.
Dd is doing sciences, and then going onto Welsh Uni hopefully, so either is good.

I know a lot of people are saying it’s here decision/life but I absolutely would be advising her...listening to her reasons, yes...but still advising. Your reasons make sense. At the risk of being controlling myself I’d suggest if you want an experience with better links with higher ed, go with college, if you want a place that knows her, go sixth form.

You are being controlling. She should decide herself. She needs to start whichever she chooses on the same day as the other new year of students. Two weeks later their friendship groups will be formed and she’ll be out on a limb. Of course she shouldn’t have to try college first.

Remember my parents telling me I had to go to sixth form and do a-levels as ‘you’re middle class even if the money hasn’t been there’ Also I had to do third year of Uni (it was an optional top up of foundation degree to make it honours)

Ignored both demands and never regretted it