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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How passive aggressive is this! Neighbour and parking

121 replies

WildWestWanda · 29/05/2021 14:08

We live on a street on which all of the houses have drives and where there are always lots of parking spaces on the road.

We have two cars and park one of our cars on our drive and the other on the road outside our house. Our neighbour has one car and always parks it on their drive. The space outside of their house is always empty.

Yesterday we had a visitor to our home who was here most of the day. They parked outside of our neighbours house. This wouldn’t have caused them any inconvenience because as I mentioned they always park on their drive.

This morning dh has gone to work and the neighbours have moved their car off their drive and parked it outside of my house.

It’s not a big deal but it’s so ridiculous it’s funny! Who has the time or headspace to be this petty!

OP posts:
lakesummer · 30/05/2021 16:01

We once lived on a street where this kind of thing happened.
Having moved from London we couldn't believe how PA people got about seeing anything other than their own car outside their own window, public road wasn't something that was understood at all.
Our mistake was moving to a street where most people had retired early and had far too much time on their hands.

yogi1 · 30/05/2021 17:56

Maybe just ask them if they’d mind if your visitors could park there or knock her door and say sorry they parked outside, hope you didn’t mind and if it’s a problem it won’t happen again. Sometimes it’s just easier to act considerate even if it’s against what you really think.

Topazmumma · 30/05/2021 18:02

We live in a corner of a cul-de-sac and the parking has become crowded over the years, primarily due to all of us having kids around the same age, so all now owning their own cars.
It may have diffused a potential situation if you had just popped round and said something like "Hope you don't mind, but friends will be visiting and leaving the car there. Give us a shout if you need us to move it." One of my NDN's doesn't drive so doesn't use her drive but I always make a point of asking (even though she is always fine) it's the courteous thing to do. 🙂

PlanetOfTheApesLives · 30/05/2021 18:05

@lakesummer

We once lived on a street where this kind of thing happened. Having moved from London we couldn't believe how PA people got about seeing anything other than their own car outside their own window, public road wasn't something that was understood at all. Our mistake was moving to a street where most people had retired early and had far too much time on their hands.
This.

Neighbour over the road gets up, moves his car outside his house on the road to prevent anyone parking there. He will often leave outside and go nowhere all day and then at night move it back onto his driveway. I noticed for the over picky on here because I was doing my front garden and saw it. It's bizarre behaviour. Fortunately, we have lots of parking so don't use the road at all. His neighbours either side both have one car each but should they have a visitor will naturally park on the road (as allowed to). He has shouted at visitors to both neighbours for parking on 'his bit of road'. Barking mad.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 30/05/2021 18:06

Well you are bothered about it enough to post on here, so I think you are both being petty.

Coldwine75 · 30/05/2021 18:06

Did you ask them if your visitor could block their drive?

peppermintpat · 30/05/2021 18:09

Some people are really weird about the road outside their house! It's called a public highway for a reason. Old people seem to be the worse for it. Even when they don't own a car they hate people parking outside their house, why?!

MissyGez · 30/05/2021 18:17

@Coldwine75

Did you ask them if your visitor could block their drive?
They didn't block the drive, they park on a public road outside their house
Coldwine75 · 30/05/2021 18:20

Ok cant see the issue then?

Harrison234 · 30/05/2021 18:21

nobody owns the road. Anyone can park anywhere even outside your house. Not much you can do about it.

NoMoreBananas · 30/05/2021 18:26

@daytriptovulcan

Its not ridiculous if hes legally parked. You need to grow up.
😒😒😒😒
EastWestWhosBest · 30/05/2021 18:39

Did the neighbours know that the car parked outside their house was your visitor?
Could this be coincidence?

pinkmagnolias · 30/05/2021 18:43

You MUST park one of your cars outside their house. Then sit back and enjoy 🤣🤣🤣

bpirockin · 30/05/2021 18:50

We had a neighbour who used to do this. It made me laugh when it rained and he had to get out and make his way down his driveway (room for 3 cars) to his front door, getting wet in the process.

Vladi10 · 30/05/2021 19:01

Please tell us OP that your husband came home and had to park outside neighbours house? They sound bonkers but then I can’t believe what a hard time you’ve been given over something so light hearted.

MustardRose · 30/05/2021 19:06

I've seen it all down our cul de sac over the years, and this is definitely 'making a point' parking.

InFiveMins · 30/05/2021 19:31

YANBU. I cannot bear anyone who thinks public parking on a road belongs to them. He doesn't own that space, so its tough, and his behaviour is pathetic. Just continue as normal. Park where you like.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 30/05/2021 19:35

Hmm I don't know. We have three cars and usually park one on the road. We have had two on the road for the past week. The neighbour seems to be furious about it. We see her gesticulating... USE YOUR WORDS TANYA!

They've been doing some pass agg parking and it's really strange. Like... its clearly for a reason if you don't usually do it.

It's quite funny to watch them getting so cross though. It will be disappointing in a way this week, the second car will be back on the drive.

Thisseatisnotavailable · 30/05/2021 19:36

Baffled by the pile on of the OP. MN loves a parking thread, often 'demanding' sketches to go with them. OP has posted a light-hearted thread about her neighbours (most likely) pa parking and she's getting called all sorts!

Maggiethecat · 30/05/2021 19:48

@peppermintpat

Some people are really weird about the road outside their house! It's called a public highway for a reason. Old people seem to be the worse for it. Even when they don't own a car they hate people parking outside their house, why?!
This!

I have an elderly relative who doesn't drive but is quite cross that the next door neighbour parks his second car on the road outside her house? Confused

I imagine that she feels the space should be kept free in case she ever has visitors!

Missteebeee · 30/05/2021 19:56

Your friend could have parked over your drive when they visited surely?

MargaretThursday · 30/05/2021 20:06

We have a drive. I almost always park on it but there are times I move it onto the road for various reasons:

Expecting a delivery/skip where parking on the drive will be much easier for them.
Having workmen round
Neighbours having workmen round (they'll sometimes ask if they can park on our drive as several don't have one)
Jet washing the drive
Removing weeds on the drive
Checking oil levels (our drive is a steep slope)
Expecting snow/ice (same reason as above)
Having something urgent which is time critical later in the day (can take a bit of time to break into the traffic at certain times of day)
My learner driver is off for a drive (sloping drive is not good for a learner-it also curves!)
Moving large things out of the garage

I have never moved it so someone can't park legally outside out house. tbf I'd only notice if they parked over our drive.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 20:09

Some people are really weird about the road outside their house! It's called a public highway for a reason. Old people seem to be the worse for it. Even when they don't own a car they hate people parking outside their house, why?!

I'd be very tempted to veeeeery forensically go over 'their patch' to find any kind of pot holes or minor damage and demand they repair 'their bit of the road'. When they say it's the council's job to do that, insist that the council only looks after public property and not land that's privately owned, even if there is a legal right of way across it. I can't possibly see how they can argue their way out of that one.

If these tiresome people really, genuinely believe that the council grants a(n unmarked) reserved parking space on the public road for every householder, where exactly do they think people with double yellow lines or similar outside their houses are given as 'their' space instead?

Dora33 · 30/05/2021 20:12

They have been in the lucky situation of not having a car outside their garden and have probably have got entitled about it

At our previous house our car would be parked in the drive way but when we had 2 cars, it was rare we were able to park outside our garden.
The next door neighbours had 3 cars. One would be parked on their driveway, their smallest car outside their garden and their big van always outside ours. The neighbour would get home before us and park his van outside ours even though his driveway and space outside his garden would be empty.
Out front garden was small so it meant our view out of the front window was the side of his van.
It was annoying but he was legally parked so nothing we could do. He would leave it parked there all weekend.
I did enjoy being able to park there the odd time his van wasnt there. Had to go back to the road a few times since we moved and his newer van is now parked in the same spot.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 20:15

I'd quite like to see a prominent TV advert campaign, with an annoyingly catchy song that you could sing at them telling people where to park safely on the street - e.g. avoid yellow lines, not on zig zags near crossings and then stressing that ANY safe, unrestricted space in residential streets is a free-for-all and valid choice, whether it's outside your house, a neighbour's house or anybody else's house in the country.

Yes, it would be a waste of public money, but at least there's a purpose to it - unlike that stupid Go Left ad campaign that informs you that you should try to get across to the hard shoulder if you break down on the motorway and not to just yank on your handbrake in the outside lane....