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Original poster

How passive aggressive is this! Neighbour and parking

121 replies

WildWestWanda · 29/05/2021 14:08

We live on a street on which all of the houses have drives and where there are always lots of parking spaces on the road.

We have two cars and park one of our cars on our drive and the other on the road outside our house. Our neighbour has one car and always parks it on their drive. The space outside of their house is always empty.

Yesterday we had a visitor to our home who was here most of the day. They parked outside of our neighbours house. This wouldn’t have caused them any inconvenience because as I mentioned they always park on their drive.

This morning dh has gone to work and the neighbours have moved their car off their drive and parked it outside of my house.

It’s not a big deal but it’s so ridiculous it’s funny! Who has the time or headspace to be this petty!

OP posts:
MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 29/05/2021 17:02

Sometimes readings OPs is like reading about another species for a look l that I relate to them!

This. Thank fuck I don't live amongst people like this.

Sometimesfraught82 · 29/05/2021 17:07

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

Sometimes readings OPs is like reading about another species for a look l that I relate to them!

This. Thank fuck I don't live amongst people like this.

I honestly wouldn’t notice even if I did! I’d be too busy being in my garden enjoying the sun!
BigHeadBertha · 29/05/2021 17:19

No biggie, I know, but it seems to me this issue is framed a bit incorrectly.

First, I also notice small things in my surroundings and I don't think that's unusual or weird but just the normal level of observation that most people with eyes automatically do (although the "curtain twitching" comments were hilarious). And if someone was at work most days rather than at home, I'd think they'd just be noticing the small changes that took place in their workplace rather than at or around their home. It doesn't mean they don't "have a life."

Second, I also wouldn't call the neighbor's parking behavior "passive aggressive," because that implies it's weirdly sneaky or otherwise pathological and I don't think it is. I'd say it's most likely that the neighbor's parking change is meant to, let's say, "give a hint" to the OP.

Personally, I don't knock that sort of more subtle or indirect communication and don't know why so many people do. I'd much prefer a silent hint to someone knocking on my door or otherwise getting in my face about it. I see it as a request, not a demand, to the OP. It also indicates to me that while they wish to communicate a preference, they too realize it's not a big enough issue to warrant a discussion or confrontation. Speech is not the only acceptable form of communication.

So then, what to do about it? If you can't honor their "silent request, disregard it. But if can, why not? :)

Babbly · 29/05/2021 17:19

You seem exceptionally paranoid to think it's because of you. Maybe they're having a skip delivered, maybe they're getting their driveway redone (or someone coming to look at at), maybe they were running late and it was quicker to just pull up on the road than to reverse into the drive, maybe their driveway isn't in the shade and they're keeping the car cool for some reason, maybe someone else was blocking their drive when they parked up so they couldn't park in their drive...
There's so many more likely theories - it's not always about you OP.

HunkyPunk · 29/05/2021 17:20

some people have houses with a lounge looking onto the front and can see stuff happening on the street without having to peek out behind curtains

I have my kitchen at the front of the house, so can potter about with impunity, especially if there's anything interesting going on Grin

JackANackAnoreeee · 29/05/2021 17:21

@daytriptovulcan

Its not ridiculous if hes legally parked. You need to grow up.
Did you seriously miss the point of the OP? OP doesn't care that their car is parked on the street she thinks the reason they've gone out of their way to move their car is ridiculous (and she's correct).
RoSEbuds6 · 29/05/2021 17:26

We have lots of this kind of thing in my road OP, most people laboriously drag their bins out each day to mark their spots.

Justbeenjabbed · 29/05/2021 17:49

More likely they want to hose their drive! I think you’re reading too much into it.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 29/05/2021 18:29

I love it when people not only choose to open and read a thread but then go on to make the effort to add their comments to it - their comments being to ask why anybody would care about the subject at hand, as they (allegedly) wouldn't, and hasn't OP got a hobby/something better to do with their life Grin

There's loads of stuff online that I think is boring, pointless and of no interest to me - maybe I'm unusual in this, but I just completely ignore all of that and find/click on stuff that I do like instead.

JackANackAnoreeee · 30/05/2021 06:57

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Yup definitely an interesting past time. Seeking out topics you don't care about and taking the time to tell everyone how boring you find them.

DontLookEthel · 30/05/2021 07:37

I think your interpretation of events says more about you than the neighbours.

Sometimesfraught82 · 30/05/2021 07:42

@DontLookEthel

I think your interpretation of events says more about you than the neighbours.
Nailed it in one sentence
Sometimesfraught82 · 30/05/2021 07:47

[quote JackANackAnoreeee]@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Yup definitely an interesting past time. Seeking out topics you don't care about and taking the time to tell everyone how boring you find them.[/quote]
I don’t think anyone has said the thread is boring!
Just that what the op has interpreted is baffling and petty to a number of us!

IMNOTSHOUTING · 30/05/2021 08:06

@Sometimesfraught82

Oh come on you're all just piling in on the OP you're not all as hard of understanding as you pretend to be. OP has lived there for years and knows her neighbours. If they've never ever parked on the road before and have suddenly done it now after years and they're petty people it's fairly obvious they're doing it to make a point.

The people going out of their way to have a go at OP for noticing are just being deliberately obtuse.

Sometimesfraught82 · 30/05/2021 08:18

[quote IMNOTSHOUTING]@Sometimesfraught82

Oh come on you're all just piling in on the OP you're not all as hard of understanding as you pretend to be. OP has lived there for years and knows her neighbours. If they've never ever parked on the road before and have suddenly done it now after years and they're petty people it's fairly obvious they're doing it to make a point.

The people going out of their way to have a go at OP for noticing are just being deliberately obtuse.[/quote]
Where does it say she’s lived there years?

Sometimesfraught82 · 30/05/2021 08:20

And sheer does she say that she knows her neighbours? Confused

Sometimesfraught82 · 30/05/2021 08:21

@IMNOTSHOUTING

You have just made up a threads!

An0n0n0n · 30/05/2021 08:23

The only time i have done that is when builders were parking like dickheads and made getting out of the drive difficult or to stop people using my driveway for 3 point turns. Were your visitors in any way obstructive?

fourminutestosavetheworld · 30/05/2021 08:24

As with so many disagreements reported on mn, you have no idea about their motives and reasons for temporarily parking on the road outside your house. You have just made the worst possible assumption and now it is truth.

Ratatattatpat · 30/05/2021 08:30

I'd be breezy when I saw them. All big smiles and 'lovely weather!'.

Imnothereforthedrama · 30/05/2021 08:40

Yes but it seems pointless because your dh will now park outside their house . I’m baffled to their point obviously it bothered them but let them .

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 10:57

I don’t think anyone has said the thread is boring!
Just that what the op has interpreted is baffling and petty to a number of us!

I'm thinking of comments like this:

What exciting lives you lead.

I also agree that, when an OP starts a light-hearted thread commenting about something they've noticed that bemuses or mildly annoys them, you get the people coming on and trying to talk them down from being so bitter and twisted and throwing their whole lives away by obsessing about it 24/7 in rage and despair!

In spite of what anybody says, it is an odd thing to do: to deliberately move your car from your drive for no apparent reason, and then moving it to a free space on the road that is further than the free space outside your own home. Even if they were expecting two lots of visitors, sure, they can reserve their drive for one of them by parking on the road, but the other will have to find a space somewhere on the road, like everybody else.

They cannot 'save' the space in front of their house for a visitor by parking in the space outside the house of a neighbour who customarily parks there, as the neighbour will then look for another space that is free and, more than likely, end up in front of their house.

I'm baffled at the people with too much time on their hands who insist that the public shouldn't legally use the public road outside their house for an expressly legal purpose. Even more so those who don't even want/need a space on the road for a vehicle of their own.

I wonder if they're the same people who complain about neighbours' children using their own garden to play in at a very reasonable time of the day, just because 4yo children tend to make some noise when they play (as did the complainer when they were 4) and don't like to just sit there in silence.

Sometimesfraught82 · 30/05/2021 15:18

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

*I don’t think anyone has said the thread is boring! Just that what the op has interpreted is baffling and petty to a number of us!*

I'm thinking of comments like this:

What exciting lives you lead.

I also agree that, when an OP starts a light-hearted thread commenting about something they've noticed that bemuses or mildly annoys them, you get the people coming on and trying to talk them down from being so bitter and twisted and throwing their whole lives away by obsessing about it 24/7 in rage and despair!

In spite of what anybody says, it is an odd thing to do: to deliberately move your car from your drive for no apparent reason, and then moving it to a free space on the road that is further than the free space outside your own home. Even if they were expecting two lots of visitors, sure, they can reserve their drive for one of them by parking on the road, but the other will have to find a space somewhere on the road, like everybody else.

They cannot 'save' the space in front of their house for a visitor by parking in the space outside the house of a neighbour who customarily parks there, as the neighbour will then look for another space that is free and, more than likely, end up in front of their house.

I'm baffled at the people with too much time on their hands who insist that the public shouldn't legally use the public road outside their house for an expressly legal purpose. Even more so those who don't even want/need a space on the road for a vehicle of their own.

I wonder if they're the same people who complain about neighbours' children using their own garden to play in at a very reasonable time of the day, just because 4yo children tend to make some noise when they play (as did the complainer when they were 4) and don't like to just sit there in silence.

I can’t make head nor tail of this! Grin
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 15:55

I can’t make head nor tail of this!

Any bit in particular or the whole thing?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 15:57

Or were you being ironic? Smile