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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How passive aggressive is this! Neighbour and parking

121 replies

WildWestWanda · 29/05/2021 14:08

We live on a street on which all of the houses have drives and where there are always lots of parking spaces on the road.

We have two cars and park one of our cars on our drive and the other on the road outside our house. Our neighbour has one car and always parks it on their drive. The space outside of their house is always empty.

Yesterday we had a visitor to our home who was here most of the day. They parked outside of our neighbours house. This wouldn’t have caused them any inconvenience because as I mentioned they always park on their drive.

This morning dh has gone to work and the neighbours have moved their car off their drive and parked it outside of my house.

It’s not a big deal but it’s so ridiculous it’s funny! Who has the time or headspace to be this petty!

OP posts:

Plumbear2 · 29/05/2021 15:01

The 2 are very unlikely to be connected. I find it more creepy that you appear to know your neighbours movements.

Lucked · 29/05/2021 15:06

I don’t think it is bothering OP she is just bemused by the effort her neighbour has made.

If you are correct and he doesn’t need to keep his drive free then yes it is passive aggressive but he isn’t harming anyone so leave him to it. It would be funny if your DH came back before he moves it though in a sort of “hoist on his own petard” way.

WhereYouLeftIt · 29/05/2021 15:20

@MissKeithsNeice

You can def win this because a) You've got two cars so can bag both spaces and b) They care more than you.

This!

Frazzled2207 · 29/05/2021 15:25

@BruceAndNosh

Maybe they are expecting visitors and are leaving their drive for the visitor to park on

I would say this. We have a drive and often move our cars to make it easier for visitors.

chaosmaker · 29/05/2021 15:25

@AvonCallingBarksdale

Parking can send you mad though. We live in a close and all houses have space for 1 car, two if people have “done” their driveway. Ironically we have the biggest drive but are the only house with just one car. There are 2 spaces at the bottom of our drive which are a free-for-all and we and our neighbour regularly park there to avoid having to look at other people’s old bangers and, in one case, white van, that the wanker owner of prefers not to park outside his own house. 🤷‍♀️. I would never buy in a close/cul-de-sac again and dream of the day when we can move to the middle of nowhere or win the lotto 😂

So you have one car and a drive and spitefully park so that other people can't, why?

ElephantOfRisk · 29/05/2021 15:31

Were they cutting their grass? We move our cars off the drive and onto the street or any free parking bays when cutting the grass as sometimes stones that might be hiding in the grass get thrown up by the strimmer or lawnmower and we'd rather they didn't hit the car.

roguetomato · 29/05/2021 15:34

Meh. Don't let it bother you.

frankenpoodle · 29/05/2021 15:42

When you live next door to someone and spend a lot of time at home, especially in the garden or seated at a window, you tend to learn one another's routines. Presumably it is out of character for the neighbours to park on the street. That they've done so immediately after OP's husband left, the very next day after their guest was parked outside the neighbour's house, does seems suspicious timing. I'd also assume that it was a passive aggressive way to communicate displeasure.

OP's not frothing or fuming, she's merely noticed and wondered. She's not remotely in the wrong for noticing unusual behaviour from the neighbours. Maybe it is just a coincidence and someone will arrive to visit the neighbours, but in the event that it's passive aggressive parking, I agree with PP who said that the neighbours having thought this through, as OP's husband will probably park in front of their house, now. Which is worth a small chuckle, imo!

frankenpoodle · 29/05/2021 15:44

*neighbours haven't thought this through!

ShirleyPhallus · 29/05/2021 15:45

I can’t believe anyone would be so petty to even notice this. I bet they’re expecting visitors so have moved their car to the street. Nothing to do with you or your car spot yesterday

katy1213 · 29/05/2021 15:46

What exciting lives you lead.

LondonMiss · 29/05/2021 15:48

They might be waiting for something?
I know if ANY neighbour is having work done I need to park across my drive as they will park so badly we can’t get both car off the drive and sometimes lucky at 1.
I’m sure people think this is petty but after running around the estate trying to find who had blocked me in, they can think what they like!!

longwayoff · 29/05/2021 15:53

There is no parking outside my house, nor those of my neighbours. Thank God. No reason to watch whose doing what and where. Alleluia

CovidCorvid · 29/05/2021 16:00

@Catswithflamingos

Neighbour was a cyclist as a hobby so that says it all.

I’m sorry, what?

WeAllHaveWings · 29/05/2021 16:01

I wouldn't even notice who was parked where on our street unless it was in or over our drive. Even then I couldn't tell you who owns what car (apart from the middle age crisis twit with the loud exhaust across the road).

Seems like you are the one with the head space to be petty.

LondonMiss · 29/05/2021 16:03

@AvonCallingBarksdale Same! We had this 3.5M huge van for 3 streets away for a few days so me and next door parked there where he finally moved. That’s wasn’t to spite anyone it was because people don’t look and park behind it blocking up my drive!!
Me and my partner almost bought this www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/77826768?utm_campaign=property-details&utm_content=buying&utm_medium=sharing&utm_source=copytoclipboard oh to NEVER have parking issues again!!

Sometimesfraught82 · 29/05/2021 16:05

I’m guessing you have previous less than positive dealing with these neighbours?

Sometimesfraught82 · 29/05/2021 16:08

@ShirleyPhallus

I can’t believe anyone would be so petty to even notice this. I bet they’re expecting visitors so have moved their car to the street. Nothing to do with you or your car spot yesterday

Exactly Sometimes readings OPs is like reading about another species for a look l that I relate to them!

Gothichouse40 · 29/05/2021 16:18

Ignore it. These are the stupid things that end up causing years long vendettas between neighbours. It's not worth it over something this trivial.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 29/05/2021 16:38

Everyone who says they probably did it to free up their driveway for a visitor, why wouldnt they just park in front of their own house then?

Seeingadistance · 29/05/2021 16:42

As the OP says,

"It’s not a big deal but it’s so ridiculous it’s funny!"a

I'd just give them an extra big smile the next time I see them.

SmudgeButt · 29/05/2021 16:54

have a laugh with your neighbours about it! "hey look! we're both having visitors this week!! Thank goodness there's lots of room for parking!!" you might add something about "I hope our friends parked their car ok - I'd hate to think you found it difficult to get out of your drive or not see traffic coming!!!"

It will show that you sense there might be an issue but want to resolve it in a friendly fashion rather than both households becoming pratty and obsessed.

Sometimesfraught82 · 29/05/2021 16:56

@SmudgeButt

It will show that you sense there might be an issue but want to resolve it in a friendly fashion rather than both households becoming pratty and obsessed.

Oh don’t give it on second’s further thought Enjoy the sun in your garden And next time you see them, say hi or smile or whatever you usually do!

LizzieW1969 · 29/05/2021 16:56

I never understand why parking seems to be the cause of so much angst. Especially the way some people think they own the pavement area outside their house and that only they should be allowed to park there. If it isn’t permit holder only, then it’s public highway and anyone can park there, as long as they’re not obstructing other people’s driveways.

This neighbour might well be being passive aggressive, but as the neighbours’ car isn’t your way, I really wouldn’t take any notice.

Ickythefirebobby · 29/05/2021 16:56

We have knobhead neighbours who do this. We should have known it wasn’t going to go well, when shortly after they moved in, their old neighbours rang me and laughed about how relieved they were that they,d gone. They are an absolute pain in the ass.

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