AIBU by not introducing our DSs to football?

[4fingerKitKat]

I have two early primary age DS. Neither DH or I have any interest in football (watching or playing), as a result football has never been any part of their lives. I discovered recently that the oldest (7) doesn’t even know the basic vocabulary of football (to score a goal etc). They are active in other ways but never kick a ball around (and don’t do other team sports other than at school).

I worry a bit that we’re depriving them of something which is almost a basic life skill, especially for boys.

YABU - yes they should at least have basic footballing skills

YANBU - just let them run and climb trees and the things they already enjoy

Football served my two very well throughout their childhood. DS1 started training/playing for the local team at 7 and DS2 started training at 4. But they asked to. Both played for their school teams.

DS1 ended up playing for two teams, it involved a massive logistical faff every weekend with matches (in the middle of nowhere usually) on Saturdays and Sundays for both boys, Summer tournaments were all day affairs and very occasionally an over nighter for the whole family.
That's all in the past now. DH misses it a bit, having a bacon sarnie on the touchline every Saturday/Sunday with the other parents. The social part was very active too. Lots of evenings at the pub or they'd arrange go karting or paintballing.

But plenty of their peers didn't bother with football, I don't think it's compulsory. Some of them did Rugby, or gymnastics/athletics at the weekend.

I lived and breathed it as a kid. I wasn't from a sporty family, I just started playing and enjoyed it - like any hobby really so I would let them find their own way be it into football, chess or sky diving.

DS14 doesn't like it at all and has plenty of other interests. I would say he's been impacted socially a little bit through it as I believe sporty kids form a bit of a bond but he still has some really good mates, mainly through gaming.

There's going to be lots of football on TV next month with it being the Euros so they may catch some of it then.

I think team sports is a great way to teach young kids so many skills (listening, teamwork, discipline etc) and get them out and about with a focus away from screens.

Also think men bond over football and sports- my husband meets another man and within 10 seconds will know what football team they support

I don’t let my sons “game” so guess sport has to be their hobby 🤷‍♀️

This is so interesting. I'm a single mum to boy/girl twins. I hate football and have absolutely no interest in it. It has crossed my mind, if this will impact my son. (Not worried about impact on my daughter, since females in my circle have no interest in football either).

Obviously I'll encourage them to take up any sport they like, but I'd like them to do things like tennis, sea-scouts (sailing, kayaking, snorkeling, surfing, etc), martial arts, and trampolining.

But reading this thread, I'll definitely sign my son up for football age about 5, and see if he likes it! I don't want to run the risk of him being left out, so want him to learn the basics.

I think it's sad that many think boys should be interested in this.

No, they know it exists and they will have seen people kicking a ball eg on the playground etc. They know what a football is. If they’re interested in it they’ll discover it for themselves or start asking questions about it.

My ex and I have no interest in tv but our sons sometimes played footie at playtime to fit in.
There's no need to collect Match Attax or have a team that they support but there is general knowledge like knowing who Messi and Ronaldo are. Perhaps you can watch a Euros match this summer (perhaps when England plays?) so they go to school the next day and know who has scored or whatever. Maybe you could get one of those tournament charts and fill in the results so they understand in an academic sense.
I've never taken them to lessons but we have kicked a ball around as an alternative to playing catch.

It does seems to a universal language between men in particular (although obs a lot of women also follow football) my husband has never been interested and was once putting up some hanging baskets at a time it turns out there was some big England game on. It lead to several neighbours commenting about it. They seemed to think I had “made him” miss the match and put the baskets up. When I said neither of us were even aware nor interested they seemed to think we were both weird and even unpatriotic!

@misspattylacosta

but not so much that I actually want to start wasting my life watching sport!

strange attitude from someone who is happy to waste their life on social media...

THAT is the attitude you should avoid teaching your children. Even if it's true, and EVEN if being a "sofa player" is a waste of time, many of their friends parents will be interested.

That sort of comment is not helpful and won't give your kids any point when they repeat them.

Well true I should probably spend less time on mumsnet

What i meant was I’m not going to start doing something I don’t intrinsically enjoy doing just so I can join in small talk.

I don’t think other people who enjoy watching sport are wasting their lives (though I am glad DH feels the same about watching sport as being a slave to the football schedule would drive me up the wall).

I think younger DS (in reception) is more likely to be the one who misses out - he’s more naturally sporty and the fact he doesn’t really kick a ball about is more likely to affect him so we should probably try to integrate it a bit more into our outdoor play..

Why wouldn't you encourage sports, football or otherwise, if he's showing signs of being sporty? Playing sports is more than just outdoor play.

@user7836

I think younger DS (in reception) is more likely to be the one who misses out - he’s more naturally sporty and the fact he doesn’t really kick a ball about is more likely to affect him so we should probably try to integrate it a bit more into our outdoor play..

Why wouldn't you encourage sports, football or otherwise, if he's showing signs of being sporty? Playing sports is more than just outdoor play.

What do you mean by ‘encourage sports’ ? That I should be sending him to clubs?

We’ve not a great deal of chance yet (there’s been a pandemic since he was three!) - what I mean is helping him with basic skills so when he does get a chance to go to after school sports or get involved playground kick-arounds he will have better basic skills than the older one had at the same age.

I think it depends on their peers/friendship group. DC1 got into football at 7 because a friend wanted to start playing but didn't want to go on his own, and then it all took off. DS2 wanted to do it because he'd spent so long watching DS1 he was itching to have a go himself at 4.

But both of them did other things together and separately just to have a go at them and see. DS2 had golf lessons for years and still likes to play a round. He also did karate and athletics.. DS1 did keyboard but ended up not liking it.

Both were asked to join Rugby teams but didn't want to.

@4fingerKitKat plenty of sports are back on? My sons are back to training and playing games. If my son was showing signs of being sporty I'd jump on it and get them signed up for something, it's just so good for them.

@CookPassBabtridge

I think it's sad that many think boys should be interested in this.

It's not that boys should be interested in this. The reality is that many are interested so knowing phrases like "score a goal" or what a penalty shoot out is becomes general knowledge for that age.

It's fine to not be interested in other popular things for that age like games consoles, Star Wars and Minecraft too but knowing what they are might be useful to bond with peers.

I live near a community football club and groups of all ages have been training and playing matches for weeks. Our school has also been running clubs.

I don't know any more. I'm very weird so I wanted DC to have a chance to fit in, & encouraged them to try footie etc. They never took to it although they tried other sport. I always highly valued fitness and trying things.

Neighbours are not even slightly footie fans & their son went mad for it, has been in youth development teams, overseas competitions, etc (he's only 15 now). They support him fully but still have no interest in footie unless he's playing. So kids who want to -- will do. Kids may not fit in or connect well to peers even if they really try to get into footie.

Yabu, being good enough to join in a game with their mates will.be important all through their lives. Having said that, I would imagine they'll learn stuff about football themselves as they get older?

@ misspattylacosta you’re being deliberately obtuse.

The thread is specifically talking about boys and how if boys aren’t into football they will be left out. There is no such expectation about girls, but girls could conceiveably be expected to be into fashion/make-up or be left out and yet no-one is saying that knowing how to apply make-up is a life skill which girls should be forced into.

And yet people are saying to the OP that she needs to sign her children up for football clubs because they’ll be bullied otherwise.

Why should they be bullied by parents into attending clubs they don’t want to just because other kids might not like it?

Yes if they want to play football sign them up, but it should be a question not a done deal. “Do you want to join the football club?” If yes then sign them up, tif no then don’t.

@RedHelenB

Yabu, being good enough to join in a game with their mates will.be important all through their lives. Having said that, I would imagine they'll learn stuff about football themselves as they get older?

Sooo much wrong with this. Good enough to play with their mates? Wtf is that? Also, mates shouldn’t care. Also many, many groups of mates don’t play football at all, not even a little kick about. Also, many groups of friends Are mixed sex, and nobody is saying girls must be able to join the football at a certain standard.

DSs played football at school every lunchtime throughout school, not organised, just a kick about. But not every boy did, and AFAIK nobody got made to join in or got grief for not wanting to. Everybody finds their tribe I think, eventually.

I don't think boys need football clubs (mine didn't ) but they'd need to know some basics like what a handball is or that the person trying to stop goals is the goalie/keeper.

They've never asked for Match Attax but knew what they were

At 7ish football clubs become more about winning/losing so it's not the best time to start from what I hear. At 4, there is more emphasis on playing for fun and everyone having a go.

I hate football but your dc should know the basics even just for conversation.

I hate it because as a child everything revolved around it. No decent TV on a Saturday during the day, all the TV shows I loved moved so people could watch football etc.

I find some of the responses on this thread so bizarre! Let your son find his own interests, it really doesn’t matter what anybody else’s opinion is or what all the other boys are doing. My eldest DS is a dancer and I have never ever worried about whether he has enough football knowledge any more than I would be worried about whether he has enough knowledge of knitting or hockey or horse riding or any other hobby another child or group of children might have.